Anyone ever been to conselling(can't spell that!!!)

[anonymous]

Now i'm not talking about people with cf i'm talking about people who's partners have cf. i've been finding it VERY hard over the last few months to not let my mind wonder onto the fact that i'm not going to have him for the rest of my life.Well i'll always have him in my life but just not right beside me if you get me. i know i shouldn't be thinking about this. But 24/7 i'm constanly thinking i don't want to lose him. I love him so much i never want to be without him. especially if we're just cuddleing on the couch or somethign i think to myself god in maybe 10 years i'm not gonna be able to do this and to be honest its killing me. So the thought of Conselling came into my mind to get my head from not thinking these thoughts and to enjoy all the presious time we have together. i may be talking a load of crap here its just my heads a bit confused at the moment. Any comments would be great.

 

[serendipity730]

Hello, I think that counseling is a great idea for people whose partners have CF. I have suggested it to me b/f of 2 1/2 years, because I know that he doesn't necessarily have someone to talk to about his fears related to CF. Also, he doesn't want to burden me with them (though I have told him he could.) I've been in counseling for a while now, and it has really helped me deal with stuff, so don't be ashamed or anything if you feel you need to. ~ Mary

 

[anonymous]

IT sounds like a great idea. If I were you, I would be proud of yourself for feeling that you love him so much and you are in reality of what possible could happen(but not likely to happen) The feelings you have sound like you are much more motivated to enjoy the times together and making your lives more meaningful,where the average person takes life for granted. Have you talked to your spouce about how you feel? Chances are he may have similar feelings. Enjoy life and let your worrying thoughts motivate the both of you do more together and take better care of your health. Exercise and get out and breathe the nice weather. love, Amy

 

[anonymous]

No, He doesn't really know that i feel like this. I don't want to pour my worries on him when he has so much more to deal with. We had a good chat a while back and i know he's scared of leaving me alone in the future thats the one thing that gets him but he doesn't know how much its getting to me over the last few months. but we don't really talk about it that much in case we upset each other i guess but i think we're gonna have to cos it will be so much better out in the open then we can talk about it but thats all easier said than done. And yes to do love him so so much thats why i wanna do something about it and not just sweep it under the rug. Because whether i like it or not it will be for real sometimeThanks for your comments.

 

[Diane]

I can certainly understand how you feel. I am on the opposite end of what you are going thru sort of. Since i have dealt with cf my whole life, death isnt a good subject with me. I worry about others dieing constantly. I dont like the idea of being left alone, and i also worry about when the time comes for me to go, and those i will leave behind. Then i remember my first boyfriend ( many years ago). He was perfectly healthy, never even had a headache, and of the two of us i would certainly expect that i would be the first to leave this earth, but a few years ago ( many years after we broke up), i was reading a local paper, and read about a man who was stabbed to death and it was him. I was in shock, but at that moment i came to realize, the "sick ones" dont always leave first. It may seem like a crazy way to find comfort, but look at the people that were killed on 9-11, noone had any idea that would happen, im sure many of those people were happy and healthy and would have had a long life ahead of them, but sometimes ....like i said.... the "sick ones" dont always go first. Counseling is a great idea for you. It has to be hard to be on the other side of cf and love someone who has it. It is a scary disease, but it doesnt insure that your boyfriend will die before you. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0"> ~Diane 39 / cf / diabetes / b.cepacia

 

[anonymous]

Hi, I'm in a situation similar to yours, I don't have CF but my boyfriend does, and like you I find it harder at times, and altough I keep the option of counselling open, I don't feel the need for it right now, but you seem like it could do you good to talk to someone who does't know you or your boyfriend personnaly, who's outside of the problem so to speak. It'll probably help you sort through your toughts, someone else mentioned this but I'll say it again, don't be ashamed, you are very strong to be able to admit you need help the next step is to seek it, wether by counselling or having a 'big' talk with your boyfriend or even both!Good luck, whatever you choose to do I hope it makes you feel better!Amelie

 

[anonymous]

Thanks very very much for everyone who has wrote back. It has really helped. Thanks again

 

[anonymous]

Hi my boyfriend has CF as well and I really know how you feel I feel like that on and off and that I am so scared of losing him as well. But I think you have just got to try and enjoy your time together and not let it get to you. I think counselling could be a good idea I was thinking of going but instead I got in contact with the local CF organisation and met a lady whose husband had CF we chatted for ages and it really helped me out heaps because she was in the same situation as me and we had a lot of the same feelings it felt really good getting everything out because sometimes when I talk to my boyfriend about my feelings it upsets him but we do talk to each other heaps about our feelings which is good also.

 

[anonymous]

Yeah you see i'm afraid to really talk to him in case i upset him and thats the last thing i wanna do. i think i have to just say do myself i don't know how things are gonna tun out. I could come down with some wired illness and die tomorrow or something!!! Ok i know that was a bit far fetch but you get my drift.Who knows how life is gonna turn out. I have to just enjoy the time i have with him and i always know that there's people on here that i can talk to cos i have to say since coming on this site it has helped me out loads. So thanks to you ALL.

 

[anonymous]

I know that is tough to talk to my boyfriend sometimes as well and chatting to other people that are in the same situation can help heaps if you ever want to chat give me a buzz on cuddles0921@hotmail.com CheersErin