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Birthday Blues?

C

CowTown

New member
It's my birthday today, I'm 32.

Does anyone feel blahhh on their birthdays? I usually feel proud to be here and special but this year (and last year too) I feel more confused I guess. I want to be happy but at the same time I feel a little scared and bummed out. I feel the burden on my shoulders of every year means I'm getting closer.... Isn't that aweful?!!

My husband and I have thought about having kids after we've been married for 2 or 3 years. We recently got married and this year has actually been kind of tough sick-wise, so I'm starting to wonder if it will really be a good idea or not. My doctor told me that his biggest concern with cfers having kids is that the kids will grow up with a single parent. That makes me think it will be a selfish thing now to even think about having a little one.

The whole cf thing is starting to feel bigger for me lately. It's really a bug!

Any thoughts?
 
C

CowTown

New member
It's my birthday today, I'm 32.

Does anyone feel blahhh on their birthdays? I usually feel proud to be here and special but this year (and last year too) I feel more confused I guess. I want to be happy but at the same time I feel a little scared and bummed out. I feel the burden on my shoulders of every year means I'm getting closer.... Isn't that aweful?!!

My husband and I have thought about having kids after we've been married for 2 or 3 years. We recently got married and this year has actually been kind of tough sick-wise, so I'm starting to wonder if it will really be a good idea or not. My doctor told me that his biggest concern with cfers having kids is that the kids will grow up with a single parent. That makes me think it will be a selfish thing now to even think about having a little one.

The whole cf thing is starting to feel bigger for me lately. It's really a bug!

Any thoughts?
 
B

Bengalsfan

New member
I think it's all your personal opinion and what you decide between you and your husband. We just had a set of twins almost 3 years ago through IVF, but I was willing to take on maybe raising them by myself in the future w/out Jeremy. I just couldn't see depriving him of having his own children. Most CF doctors talk against it because of the life expectancy, but truly, this is a personal decision. All your doctor's should be telling you is what it could possibly due to your health as far as I'm concerned. Maybe that sounds harsh, but when we set our minds to it, his doctor could not have talked us out of it. My only piece of advice would be to make sure your spouse is not a carrier. That pretty much rules out the baby having CF. Luckily I wasn't a carrier so we went forward. Good luck. It is a hard decision.

LeAndra
Wife of Jeremy 30 w/cf
 
B

Bengalsfan

New member
I think it's all your personal opinion and what you decide between you and your husband. We just had a set of twins almost 3 years ago through IVF, but I was willing to take on maybe raising them by myself in the future w/out Jeremy. I just couldn't see depriving him of having his own children. Most CF doctors talk against it because of the life expectancy, but truly, this is a personal decision. All your doctor's should be telling you is what it could possibly due to your health as far as I'm concerned. Maybe that sounds harsh, but when we set our minds to it, his doctor could not have talked us out of it. My only piece of advice would be to make sure your spouse is not a carrier. That pretty much rules out the baby having CF. Luckily I wasn't a carrier so we went forward. Good luck. It is a hard decision.

LeAndra
Wife of Jeremy 30 w/cf
 
A

Allie

New member
Ry got really depressed on his 31st birthday. I think sometimes, you just can't help it. It's the march of time and tide.

As far as the child thing, I think as long as your husband is okay with being a single parent (and that's very important.), than you can go ahead and pursue whatever. Lots of kids are raised by one parent. At least my daughter knows that her father didn't want to leave, and loved her dearly.

Just talk to the hubby about it, be honest, no pressure.
 
A

Allie

New member
Ry got really depressed on his 31st birthday. I think sometimes, you just can't help it. It's the march of time and tide.

As far as the child thing, I think as long as your husband is okay with being a single parent (and that's very important.), than you can go ahead and pursue whatever. Lots of kids are raised by one parent. At least my daughter knows that her father didn't want to leave, and loved her dearly.

Just talk to the hubby about it, be honest, no pressure.
 
T

thelizardqueen

New member
I hear you Newfy. Birthdays are usually a celebration for me, but as I get older, I realize that I'm one more year closer to...you know. As for the whole kids thing, I'm totally selfish about it. I want kids, and do realize that I may not be around to watch them grow, but I hope that I won't leave their life till they are somewhat older. I'm not going to deny myself things because of "what if". That's not living to me.
 
T

thelizardqueen

New member
I hear you Newfy. Birthdays are usually a celebration for me, but as I get older, I realize that I'm one more year closer to...you know. As for the whole kids thing, I'm totally selfish about it. I want kids, and do realize that I may not be around to watch them grow, but I hope that I won't leave their life till they are somewhat older. I'm not going to deny myself things because of "what if". That's not living to me.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I still appreciate my birthdays & am grateful that I have beaten the odds another year. At the same time this is happening, another pain or complication is developing. It makes it kind of hard to appreciate old age. I still by far dont carry on about getting older like all the healthy people I know. Its hard no doubt...
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I still appreciate my birthdays & am grateful that I have beaten the odds another year. At the same time this is happening, another pain or complication is developing. It makes it kind of hard to appreciate old age. I still by far dont carry on about getting older like all the healthy people I know. Its hard no doubt...
 
C

CowTown

New member
I definitely am still appreciating my birthdays and am grateful too. It's hard sometimes to fully get my head around everything. I can't help but feel so sad for what my husband will have to go through. We've talked about everything, my deepest fears, etc., and he is absolutely the best about it all! He says, the best part of marriage is that you have twice as much fun and you can split the pain. What a sweety!

Thanks for your thoughts!
 
C

CowTown

New member
I definitely am still appreciating my birthdays and am grateful too. It's hard sometimes to fully get my head around everything. I can't help but feel so sad for what my husband will have to go through. We've talked about everything, my deepest fears, etc., and he is absolutely the best about it all! He says, the best part of marriage is that you have twice as much fun and you can split the pain. What a sweety!

Thanks for your thoughts!
 
F

Faust

New member
Every year when I have my birthday I think to myself "yup another year. Should I get drunk? No i've done that 10,000 times and it's lost it's appeal. Go out and try and find a hot chick to have fun with? Nah, i'm engaged can't do that. Go out and do anything? Nah people suck"...So I end up just figuring out im one year closer to my grave, and then I go to sleep, to practice what it's like to be dead so I won't care when it's time.
 
F

Faust

New member
Every year when I have my birthday I think to myself "yup another year. Should I get drunk? No i've done that 10,000 times and it's lost it's appeal. Go out and try and find a hot chick to have fun with? Nah, i'm engaged can't do that. Go out and do anything? Nah people suck"...So I end up just figuring out im one year closer to my grave, and then I go to sleep, to practice what it's like to be dead so I won't care when it's time.
 
A

anonymous

New member
I know what you mean. I never really am crazy about my b-days. They really aren't a big deal to me. I wish I could be frozen here and now sometimes. But, I get that way when I think about my health, and then a short cut life, and then kids, single parent, messed up kids.......sounds like alot b/c it is!
I then have to stop thinking. You have to be realistic, yes, and make rational decisions, but you can't make any decisions if your minds spinning like a top.

Focus on your health, improving your numbers, maybe set some goals with your husband so you can reach parenthood eventually, and then work on them while you wait.

Breathe!!

Christian
 
A

anonymous

New member
I know what you mean. I never really am crazy about my b-days. They really aren't a big deal to me. I wish I could be frozen here and now sometimes. But, I get that way when I think about my health, and then a short cut life, and then kids, single parent, messed up kids.......sounds like alot b/c it is!
I then have to stop thinking. You have to be realistic, yes, and make rational decisions, but you can't make any decisions if your minds spinning like a top.

Focus on your health, improving your numbers, maybe set some goals with your husband so you can reach parenthood eventually, and then work on them while you wait.

Breathe!!

Christian
 
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