Boyfriends/girlfriends of patients

[Robin]

I am 25. I date a fantastic guy who loves me more than anything. He always makes sure I do my medicine and sits with me during coughing fits. Sometimes I feel bad because we all know this is only going to get worse. He stayed with me everynight I was in the hospital my last stay and got up at 5:00am to start my IV. We are planning on getting married soon. Is it weird that sometimes I feel like I'm too much of a burden to him? He's never made me feel that way and gets mad when I say that, but sometimes I let the bad thoughts slip in.

 

[thelizardqueen]

Its completly normal. Trust me, we're all there. I have the greatest boyfriend in the world too. He sits with me when I have hemoptysis, he does my physio for me, reminds me to take my meds, he jumps on my back about being more active, etc. I sometimes wonder if I am a burden to him, that he could easily be with someone who's healthy. That being said - he choose me. He chooses to be with me. He knows the ins and outs of CF, but has told me countless times that he choose to hang in there no matter what. CF comes second to what a great person he thinks I am. So yeah, those feelings are normal. But you're not a burden. Your guy could easily leave you if you were and he couldn't take it. But he's still there for you. That says it all.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[katyf13]

Speaking as a girlfriend, I have never once thought of Mike or his health as a burden. And I'm not just saying that. I love him and I know he'd take care of me if I needed it too. I wish cf would go far far away and leave us alone and let him do the things he wants to, but that's different.

 

[Allie]

I was married to a Cfer for 7 years, together for 10, and I never thought of him as a burden. I got really mad about CF sometimes, because it sucked, but it was never directed to him, just the Cf.

Ry used to worry about being a burden on me, and I always told him to shut up lol. I loved him, and that love made the hard times doable. That's really what's important.

 

[Robin]

Thanks. I really needed to hear that. I just found this website and LOVE it. I've never had much contact with other CF patients or other families dealing with CF. It's nice to hear other peoples concerns, fears, good news, etc. Thank you all so much. You made me feel A LOT better!!!

 

[Brad]

Hi Robin

I beleive You have a Fellow who really Loves You !!!! Sounds like a good guy to me... And thru your time with him there
will be times he will need your help.
True Love knows bounds <<< this is so true, You have been
blessed to find it, I wish You many years of happiness !

As You can I have Cf , I was married, the first time I really got sick
my X (bit*h) left, She would always complain about my Nebs, she said the
mist and smell bothered her, I told she should try it from where I am sitting..

 

[julie]

As the wife of a wonderful man with CF, I can tell you many times in our relationship Mark asked me and told me things like, "I'm just going to get more and more sick as time goes on-you deserve someone else. I'm a burden on you, how can you love me if I can never give you children and never provide for you (by the way, we are pregnant so that one flew out the window <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">?".

It's not uncommon or abnormal for you to feel this way, but understand that if he is STILL there, by your side through hospitalizations, home IV's, medications, coughing fits and whatever else might go on related to your CF.... HE WANTS TO BE THERE. That's what I had to keep telling my husband. Nobody is making me stay with you, nobody is forcing me to do any of this. I Love you, I want to be with you, you are NOT a buden, everyone comes into a relationship with baggage-your's may be CF, mine... we'll you'll find out <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">.

If you need to hear it from him (I think Mark really needed to hear it from me sometimes), tell him how you feel. He might scoff at it, but simply because he sees past all the CF stuff and just plain loves you!!! And then you can get the reassurance from him that you need to hear.

I would do anything and everything for my husband. Not because I have to, or feel like I should, but because I love him and I want to and he means the world to me.

Welcome to the site Robin!