hello

[skydiverchic]

I am kinda new to this site. I have been reading your posts but haven't written much yet. I am 23 with cf. I have one older brother,Wesley, that deals with cf also and one older brother,Anthony, who passed away from cf. I am going to college right now even though it is taking me more than 4 years. I went skydiving for my 21st birthday that's why my name is skydiverchic-it was awesome<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. I wanted to do something fun and exciting because that's how old Anthony was when he died. I have a question to ask-does it sometimes seem like you are older(or sometimes a lot older) than your peers and you can't relate to them? I am from SD but go to school in MT. Just like to say hello!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

HI SDC, I am new here as well but found your question interesting. My husband who has CF, asks me that same question alot. I am not sure if its how fast life was thrown at him or what but he def. struggles with that. It would be interesting if others with CF find themselves in the same quarry!

My heart goes out to you dealing with so much at such a young age. Dealing with the death of a sibling so young must be so very difficult. I pray you will find solace on this site with so many others fighting a fight similar to yours! Karen (wife to Troy 37 w/ CF)

 

[blindhearted]

hey skydiverchic, welcome to the forms!!

I'm sorry for your loss.

To answer your question: I never really related with people my age because I felt like my peers were immature or what have you. I always felt more mature and more comfortable around people older than myself. I think being in the situation with CF it makes you grow up faster to a point because your having to deal with things that most of your peers wouldnt even began to think about dealing with.

 

[Faust]

Sorry to hear about your siblings passing. How many kids total in your family? It's often made me wonder wtf when i've seen say a family of 4 kids and 3 of them have CF. As for the way you feel around your friends, remember that you having CF and having to be brought up with that huge gorilla on your back, plus having siblings pass away with this disease, has made you different than your peers. You probably tend to think of more things than having fun and chasing guys and partying and stuff. You have had close encounters with mortality and deep loss, something most young people of college age never think about, yet alone experience. That might be why you feel you are surrounded by people "Not on your level".


Keep your chin up. I personally like my feet firmly planet on tera firma, and would never jump out of a perfectly good plane. I've learned a long time ago that the last thing you want to argue with is gravity, because it will ALWAYS win over you...And that's not good. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[littledebbie]

I have felt that way often. I remember one year I was taking some colleges classes at this really small JC and in my math class there were all these kids my age and then two ladies in their early 60's who had just decided they wanted to go back to school and get their degrees. They were like my best friends all semester! Sometimes it sucks becuase I wish I could just blend in or feel more connected to people my age but then again sometimes it works out. I think it has helped me advance faster at work because I am just very responsible in general. I just try to focus on how relative age is anyway. I know a lot of really mature kids and some really imature adults, so it's a crazy mad world.

Skydiving, dang, did you do it strapped to someone else or solo? I've kind of wanted to do that but only strapped to a professional, although one might wonder about the sanity of someone who professionally jumps out of planes now that I think about it. I may have to give this some more thought.

 

[JazzysMom]

I totally relate. I think we tend to grow up faster having CF to deal with. I still to this day get irritated with people my age or older that are, well, totally irresponsible. It could be anything from health to finances to being oblivious in the grocery store. I guess I learned a lot of things in life the hard way (not just CF stuff) & dont understand why others havent already learned it. I have always related to older people better. My 2 best friends from high school (who are still my best friends) have also always been more mature for their age. Maybe that is why we bonded. It can be difficult as I have found now. My more recent problems with this is the parents of my daughters friends. They want to do things together (husbands/wives & kids all together), but I dont find any interest in it since they just arent on the same maturity level. Then I feel bad because those that I do enjoy the company of dont have kids so my daughter is left out. If I could take all the people on the CF websites that I have met & make the neighborhood I wanted (health safe of course) I would be in heaven. Point being....U are not alone!

 

[skydiverchic]

There are only three kids in the family-we stuck it rich 3 out of 3. Plus my dad is diabetic, which means I am probably at a very high risk for it. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. As to the skydiving, I went tandom-with the instructor buckled to me. But one of these days I want to go solo<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> bethany

 

[anonymous]

Hey SkyDiverChic,

Yeah, i totally relate. I've felt that way alot in life. Sometimes it's hard for me to make friends my age because of it. I always gravitate towards people that are a little older than me. I think it's because at a very young age we have to learn to be brave, to accept things, to face fear. To deal with pain, physical and emotionally. I definately learned early to rely on myself more, to be independent. Also, we interact with all these adults from a young age- doctors and nurses, and that teaches you to communicate with adults.
I just try to keep my CF in perspective when with my friends or peers. They're not all going to understand, but I'm sure they've gone through something that I wouldn't understand either. Also, sharing my experiences with peers helps me, and them too. I've had lots of friends that have thanked me for telling them about my CF, b/c it helped them to see what difficulties people deal with.
Christian

 

[Emily65Roses]

I think a lot of us feel that way. Your peers are worried about "Oh my god, she like totally wore the same shirt as me" or "Oh my god, who are you taking to the dance?" while we're worried about.... "Are my meds done? How's my health? I need to get a job! And get married! And have kids! NOW!" It makes sense that we wouldn't really relate. I found a friend here or there that could at least understand me enough to hang out with, but only other CFers REALLY get it.

 

[JazzysMom]

Emily U so reminded me of the Valley Girl Syndrom......tho I am not sure U would remember that since U are younger than me......LIKE OH MY GOD! TOTALLY!

 

[anonymous]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am 23 too and some of my best friends are in their 30s. I have always gotten along better with my moms friends and people several years older than me than people my own age. I have a group of friends I hang out with that are all my age, but it is just get together and hang out with no real seriousness kind of hanging out.
I agree with what everyone has said. It is a combination of everything we have to deal with on a daily basis and constantly being around adults and having to learn to assert ourselves at a young age and to communicate with drs. nurses and other healthcare workers to let them know what is going on with us.
One thing that I have noticed lately that irritates me with people my age is that none of them really seem to appreciate what they have be it their health, money, good jobs, good family, good relationships or whatever. They always want more or abuse what they have. It drives me crazy.
What makes it worse sometimes for me anyway - I don't know if many have this problem. I feel mentally in my 30s and I look like a teenager (facially and weight wise- I am average height). People that do not know me start talking to me like I am a child in need of coddling when I am fully capable of understanding what they have to say if they would talk like an adult lol. It is just funny to me ... I guess there are worse things though - I could look in my 30s and only be 15 lol.

Take Care
Lindsey
23 w/ CF and CFRD

 

[littledebbie]

Lindsey...yes thank you. at work people who don't know me ask me on the elevator..oh are you a student assistant or visiting your Mom...like I'm 12!!!!! I work here yah schmuk!!! 26 and look barely 18. And guys come at you like they're hoping the police aren't lingering anywhere too close, sometimes I order a drink just so it's sitting by me like a sign saying "the girl drinking this drink is officially 21 or over, feel free to make a move" And then i feel obligated to drink it of course <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I mean i can't let it go to waste can I? He he he...... Oh and well meaning people who ask how old I am and then say (rather predicatably) "well when your 40 you'll be glad for your youthful appearance", if I had a dime for everytime I heard that, I'm so mean sometimes just to liven things up a little I want to say, by the time I'm 40 I'll probably be 6 feet under and way beyond worrying about wrinkles. But, as yet I can't bring myslef to be so mean to a well meaning stranger, my sick humor is going to get me in trouble sooner or later.

 

[JazzysMom]

I look forward to the gray hair & wrinkles....LOL Just to look older. I worry that I will just look like a kid dressing up as an old person instead tho. The 2 sayings I get all the time are: U are so lucky to be so thin (we all know that one I think) & is all if your family this young looking (only the babies lOL)!!!!!!