Ok people.. for about four years now ive been going in a downward spiral..
I finally got to where I pretty much went no where and did nothing. Rarely I would get out and go see a movie by myself or go to my brothers house to visit him but other than him and my mom and dad I have had about no social contact.
My days have been spent ALONE pretty much watching tv... staying on the computer etc.
It all started after me and my fiance (girlfriend for 8 yrs broke up).
But I think the CF intensified it. I got to since I was alone alot, I would have no one to talk to but myself.
I have worked up a habit so bad that now, I cant even have a quiet moment in my head, everything has become words, its like every feeling I have I make it to where I say it aloud in my head. And I feel like im often in a daydream, like if Im even with my brother or family and talking to them, my mind is completely somewhere else..
I find myself evaluating every thing I do and every thought in my head. I cant even concentrate on watching tv... the things the people say on tv make me go into like a situation in my head...Ill start talkin to myself about it or go into a daydream with a person that is on the tv....
And I cannot feel emotions.. I feel dead inside.. like a robot
I dunno if its becasue I am alone most of the time that this has happened but it has happened.
I have obessive compulsive traits..
I did research about it and I looked through symtoms that I had and for the ones I had there were about five or six different things that they say could be wrong with me.
Finally I got frustrated i mean OVERWHELMED. I started to Freak. I burst out into tears and i swear it was the first time ive cried in over two years and im not kidding.
I went to the room where my mom was and said mom IVE GOT TO TALK WITH SOMEONE.
She called an old proffessor of mine from college and he told me to go talk to someoene and thats exactly what Im doing first thing in the morning.
Anyways I was wondering if any of you have had these things happen to them or can tell me why I feel like this.
But im glad for the first time in years I had emotion.. even though it was bad it felt so good to not be NUMB inside.
I was so afraid to tell others and now im so glad i broke down in front of my mother.
I dunno if anyone cares but Ill post an uptade on what happpens to me tommorrow.
Ps. I was the person that posted the message Help I think somethings wrong with me... I posted that before I freaked.
Matt.
27 cf, cfrd
I finally got to where I pretty much went no where and did nothing. Rarely I would get out and go see a movie by myself or go to my brothers house to visit him but other than him and my mom and dad I have had about no social contact.
My days have been spent ALONE pretty much watching tv... staying on the computer etc.
It all started after me and my fiance (girlfriend for 8 yrs broke up).
But I think the CF intensified it. I got to since I was alone alot, I would have no one to talk to but myself.
I have worked up a habit so bad that now, I cant even have a quiet moment in my head, everything has become words, its like every feeling I have I make it to where I say it aloud in my head. And I feel like im often in a daydream, like if Im even with my brother or family and talking to them, my mind is completely somewhere else..
I find myself evaluating every thing I do and every thought in my head. I cant even concentrate on watching tv... the things the people say on tv make me go into like a situation in my head...Ill start talkin to myself about it or go into a daydream with a person that is on the tv....
And I cannot feel emotions.. I feel dead inside.. like a robot
I dunno if its becasue I am alone most of the time that this has happened but it has happened.
I have obessive compulsive traits..
I did research about it and I looked through symtoms that I had and for the ones I had there were about five or six different things that they say could be wrong with me.
Finally I got frustrated i mean OVERWHELMED. I started to Freak. I burst out into tears and i swear it was the first time ive cried in over two years and im not kidding.
I went to the room where my mom was and said mom IVE GOT TO TALK WITH SOMEONE.
She called an old proffessor of mine from college and he told me to go talk to someoene and thats exactly what Im doing first thing in the morning.
Anyways I was wondering if any of you have had these things happen to them or can tell me why I feel like this.
But im glad for the first time in years I had emotion.. even though it was bad it felt so good to not be NUMB inside.
I was so afraid to tell others and now im so glad i broke down in front of my mother.
I dunno if anyone cares but Ill post an uptade on what happpens to me tommorrow.
Ps. I was the person that posted the message Help I think somethings wrong with me... I posted that before I freaked.
Matt.
27 cf, cfrd