If not "you are strong" then what?

[anonymous]

I am thinking of the recent post (and a few in the past) about all the things people say to CFers that make the CFers annoyed.

So, if it's annoying to hear things like "you are strong" or "I'm sorry" or "that sucks", then what WOULD you like someone to say.

I have to agree with any of you who said that people don't really know what else to say, are ignorant, don't know enough, whatever.....but what would you like to hear when you tell someone you have CF or maybe discuss how you are are doing?

 

[anonymous]

If not "you are strong

Okay wait. I just saw someone else asked this same question. It didn't get near the response as the post about what people DON'T like to hear though.

Interesting. I guess many do not like what they hear, but really don't have a good feel for what they WOULD like to hear.

 

[JazzysMom]

If not "you are strong

I dont think for me is what they say or ask as much as the tone in which they say or ask it. Any opportunity to address it is good, but its hard to do that when they have a "know it all" or "superior" or "pitiful" attitude toward you!

 

[coltsfan715]

If not "you are strong

Hi there,
I remember starting a post/thread not to long ago about somethings that had bothered me when people said them, but I don't remember anyone posting that they didn't like when people said they were strong or that they were sorry or that having CF sucks on that post. The post I am refering to mainly had to do with careless comments made by people ... like "that's what happens when you smoke kids" in regards to our coughing or "you don't eat much do you" because we are so small/thin.

I don't mind when people say things like what you mentioned to me. I think I am strong to deal with the things many of us deal with and still keep a good attitude. I don't like when a whole lot of emphasis is put on it though because there are alot of people dealing with things that are alot worse and they do a great job as well and are strong too.
As for the it sucks thing, I don't mind that people think it but I don't want to constantly hear it. I recently started working part-time and have told some of my coworkers I have CF and they ask questions and each one has said man that SUCKS. To which I say yeah, but what are ya gonna do? I just deal with it. Then they continue to say yeah but it sucks. We all know it sucks I think we just don't want it pushed in our face all the time (though it may be naive I kind of like to not think about how much it sucks if I don't have too)

I like when people ask questions. Like what is CF? Or is it genetic? Have you always had it? Anything just ask questions. I would rather someone ask a question that may seem silly than have them walk away with a misconception about what CF is and what it is like for me. People will never learn anything if no one is willing to take the time to answer questions. So long as people aren't flat out rude, hurtful or mean with comments they make I don't mind the comments that I get from people.

Have a good one,
Lindsey

 

[anonymous]

If not "you are strong

nocode's recent post "I can't stand this anymore" That's the one I was referring to.

 

[JennifersHope]

If not "you are strong

Sometimes I don't like to hear that I am strong because I don't have a choice to be strong or not.. I feel like I owe my family to be strong and if left to myself, especially on days when I feel horrible I wouldn't be strong or even be here at all..

I don't mean that in the wrong way, I guess I would like it more if people asked me, well what does having CF mean to me? PPls pain and sickness is very relative. It doesn't mean the same thing to everyone.

I don't get offended when ppl say anything to me though when they are trying to be nice or encouraging. Lord knows I don't always say the right thing... it is the heart in which ppl mean something I guess.