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looking for some info on all of this

anonymous

New member
my g.f has c.f and she is kinda scared to talk to me about it. i think its cuz shes scared of me leaveing her or something i don really know why. so can someone just give me some info on the hole thing on c.f plz. and tell me why she would be scared to talk to me about this, it makes me feel like its me and it hurts.
 

anonymous

New member
Its good your getting info on your own, to show her you really care and are interested in her health. It probably isn't you , the reason why she doesn't talk about her CF. Alot of people with CF have a hard time telling anyone about it. We don't want to feel like a burden on anyone. I will tell you from my own experience, I didn't like giving my now husband the specifics of CF, I just told him about the meds I took and what for. I think he got frustrated so he did his own research. So he would ask about things to see if I had to do certain things that he read about. Made me feel more comfortable talking to him because he was interested and not just pretending to be interested. She is probably scared of you leaving too. Alot of people can't handle dating or even being friends with a CFer because of what we go through. Those people can't handle the reality of life and mortality I think. There are only a few special people out there willing to date and be friends with us, and they have to be strong people. Think about it. They ahve to be strong to see the love of their life sick all the time, in the hospital, in pain and probably on their slow road to death. Scary aint it. One reason why alot of us with CF don't like talking about it. If we tell you the truth, its not all daisies and sugar. Just like the 65 roses saying, our lives are like a rose bush. There are pretty rose buds but along with those comes alot of thorns. Your girlfriends thorns are her meds, sickness, hospitals, doctors, needles, treatments, and daily health maintance that eventually won't work as good as it should. Her pretty rose buds are you, fun, friends, and family. They are few compared to the thorns. But the roses make it worth it. So why would she want to tell you all about the bad things if that means she might loose what she might consider the best thing in her life right now. She may think "why ruin a good thing". So be patient. If you really love her and want to be with her, you have to tell her that and tell her no matter what you will be by her side. She has to tell you on her own time. Maybe ask a few questions here and there to let her know you are interested but don't push it, her CF maybe a really touchy subject to her. She probably has lost many friends, maybe even previous boyfriends because she told them about CF and they couldn't handle it. I know I lost friends and certain boys that liked me, wouldn't date me because I was sick so much. Sounds horrible but its true. Just give her time. Be there for her. She will confide in you in her time.I hope i made some sense.Amanda
 

anonymous

New member
any information that you need to learn more on cf is on this website. There are also books and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is a good place to get info. The reason your girlfriend may not want to talk about her having CF is because she doesn't want to be treated any differently. This disease is a very serious one. SHe may also be afraid that you won't want to be with her anymore once your realize what being her boyfrien entails. I don't have CF but my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years does. There are times when it is hard to cope but then the good days are so much more frequent than the bad ones. At least you know what you are up against. Good luck, and remember that above everything she is still a person who deserves love like everyone else.
 

anonymous

New member
I agree with Amanda,If she has had other friends and boyfriends leave her because she has CF that will definitely make her reluctant to talk about it with new people. I was lucky in the fact that I was 22 when I was diagnosed so all of my friends were adults and none of them bailed on me and my girlfriend at the time took the time to find out what it was all about and even went to the doctor's with me so she could ask questions. The amazing part about it is that we were only together a couple of months when I was diagnosed and I told her that if she wanted to break it off that I would understand. She said no way and seven years later we are still together and getting married this August.Dave 29 w/cf
 

anonymous

New member
thank you to everyone that got back to me. i know it probly is hard to talk about it and i dont push her and i try to get in some ?'s about it here and there and when i see she feels uncombable i change the subject, thats the last thing i wont is for her to feel im pressing her into talking about it. she knows that i have been reading up on it online and all, i dont think she seems to mind that to much.i tell her everyday that i love her and that nothing she can tell me about this will make me loveing her. the only thing im scared of is that i know one day i could lose her.well anyways like i said thank you
 

anonymous

New member
I can defintely relate to you. When I was younger I dated a guy with Cystic Fibrosis for over a year. I still consider him my first true love. When we broke up, we remained friends. The past few weeks we've started talking about a relationship again, but I have the same problems that you do. I don't think he feels comforatable discussing the specifics of his disease with me, so I'm trying to do my own research. It's hard for me because I really love him and I want to know what's going on but at the same time I dont' want to make him uncomfortable. I'm afraid that he thinks that if I knew certain things then I wouldn't want to be with him, and I don't know how to make him understand that I'll love him no matter what and want to be with him no matter what. If anyone finds out anything they think I need to know or can give me any suggestions on how they think I can reassure him, it would be most appreciated.ThanksKynessa
 

AbsintheSorrow

New member
I've been left before because of the CF. Or guys have shown interest, and then once they learned I was sick, they backed off. However, personally, I prefer people to know. If whoever I'm with would really leave me because I'm sick, then I don't want to be with them. And though I'm young, you start looking for a lifelong mate whenever you start dating, so I want whoever I date to know everything. Because if I really plan on keeping them around, they need to be well informed. My current boyfriend knows everything. I've talked with him about the CF many times before. He helps me with my meds, etc etc. So if she is hiding it, it's not to offend you or to make you feel "left out." It's probably because others have purposely left her because of the CF. It can suck. It's not under our control whatsoever, and some people can be really insensitive. I don't think I've left any advice here, just wanted to interject my two cents. So there you are.
 
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