I was answering a question from Samurai about what's needed to get through the law enforcement/detention deputy requirements and I got on a rant in general about my situation and how I really need advice/help. Please read the following about my life, my quandry, and me feeling absolutely 100% stuck in life with very little real options to better myself. PLEASE if you can offer ANY REALISTIC advice and/or point me in the direction of some program to help me further attain my goals of being 100% independent and having an actual career considering my special circumstances, I will be EXTREMELY grateful! This is my real life we are talking about, and I'm really stuck now and very despondent...(the following text starts off with what I did to get the detention deputy job, and didn't get it, and then flows into my situation and needing advice/help, just to clarify...It was taken from another post in a different thread, but I edited it out).
I performed and passed with flying colors, everything they threw at me. I didn't get any of the positions I applied for, even though I was WAY beyond qualified (theres some real crappy detention deputies and even worse community services officer which I also applied for) with a degree in criminal justice where I graduated with high honors (cum laude), had a very successful collegiate internship program with the sheriff's dept, and several glowing letters of recommendation from a very well known officer (now detective), and a successful lawyer I have known for a very long time (for character affirmation), and never having done anything beyond petty juvenile things, I didn't get crap and I became very depressed afterwards. I was also treated by my background investigator like I was always lieing, because he didn't believe how an almost 34 year old strapping guy never had a job before. That's what I told him at the original application turnin/interview, because I hadn't had a "regular job" before, only 3 or 4 jobs that were mostly restaurant work and "under the table". I told him it wasn't me attempting to be deceptive, I was just basing it on a "real job" as in I never turned in a W-2 form before.
I also explained my entire personal background, including my disease and my history with my disease in general (had to explain the whole disease as well), and how I had to not work due to my health, having to stay on my mothers insurance for my treatment and medications, and how If I was to work it couldn't be anywhere other that a job that would pay fairly well (im not greedy, it would need to pay half decent for me to be able to upkeep my house and take care of my medical premiums and other health related costs when my mother passes away and leaves me the house to live in), and if I did work anywhere I would immediately be shown to not be handicapped and would lose not only my mothers insurance but my fathers social security benefits (my only income). So my plan was to get an education, take care of my disease as best I could, and then bite the bullet and jump into the dark abyss of the uncertain future and get a professional job so I could be 100% independent for the first time in my whole life.
Personally I would have hired myself. The whole experience was a growing and learning experience, but it helped to greatly lessen what little faith I had left in humanity. Now here I am, qualified, with generally good health (for a cf anyways), and pretty much depressed and not sure what I can do. My lack of work experience is the big hurdle I have now, and regardless if my explanations sound very logical and sound (I think they do), employers (especially state government) don't give a s**t it seems.
Finally after quite a while of feeling despondent and not trying anything else due to me "Putting my eggs all in one basket", and noone being able to give me any advice besides "Hang in there", or "Keep trying" (even from social workers), i said i'll just pile on as many financially possible (to me) certifications as I can to my resume, to help offset the obvious lack of work history. After I certified in two different firearms, got my D security license, my G security license, certifications in oleoresin capsicum secondary weaponry, expandable baton secondary weaponry, and future plans to further my security certifications (money permitting), here I sit.
I'm confused, and despondent in general. It REALLY F'ing sucks to be in a gray area that CF creates. I'm still pretty healthy (I will fully come to that conclusion after my CF docs evaluation on the 10th of this month), and I want to marry my LONG term fiancee, get a real career, and be 100% independent and atleast have a good 10 more years (I hope) of being healthy and working.
I currently live with my fiancee, my elderly mother, and my newly re-moved in middle sister (she went crazy, and got a divorce) and our 6 dogs and 2 cats (3 of the dogs are my sisters, 1 cat is hers). My mother is very old, she is 73 and has had 2 congestive heart failures, and a very time limited porcine heart valve replacement which it's time will be up very soon. My name is on the house, as well as my sisters name, but my mother officially owns the house.
My mother plans to leave me the home (it's fully paid off, but the yearly taxes are a killer due to local population boom and businesses going in). So my living place is taken care of, but i'm not sure how much money my mother will leave me, even though she says "You will be taken care of", but i'm assuming even though my sisters love me and are great caring women, and they realize i'll need the money more than they will (one is married with a little girl and has their own house and is doing ok, the other lives with me but has her own house she rents out and makes ok money with her current boyfriend property wise). Thankfully my truck is also paid off (96 model, but it's a nissan and should probably run for a lot more).
I need some serious advice (I know I can be a freak on here and i'm silly, but just asking for serious realistic advice from you guys this time) on what to do. I figured to get certified in security as well as I could (that is now over), and get some work experience in security. The problem is, unless you are deemed very desireable by say wackenhut to protect say a nuclear power plant and earn 20+ dollars an hour carrying an AR-14 (after more training), security work doesn't pay that well at all. Most armed jobs you would be lucky to find something for around 10 bucks an hour. As you are well aware, when you get a new job, they almost always hold your insurance benefits for atleast 3 months or so. So I would be a CF patient with 3 months of no coverage and have no ability to pay for very expensive medications out of pocket like pulmozyme or my enzymes or the colistin im on. Hell even a 1-2 month supply of albuterol is expensive out of pocket, especially on a fixed income of social security (better than most, but not all that).
I have been told that I could apply for domestiv partner health insurance through my fiancee's job (dental company), but the prereqrasites are pretty rediculous, including her having to be put on the deed to the house (something my mother is very afraid of, even though she loves her like a daughter...cause all people can change, and if she cheats on me and we break it off, or I screw up, she could own the house). My fiancee takes care of my auto insurance now, bless her for that.
I haven't tried to apply to any other institution (state/federal/local) that security/my degree in law enforcement would be appropriate, because after my last experience jumping through all the hoops for the local law enforcement in pursuit of employment, it exposed my HUGE weakness, and that's work experience. And I can't improve on my work experience deficiencies unless I am employed, and basically I can't be employed unless I make "ok" money that's better than my benefits I get now, or will allow me to pay for my own health insurance (somehow) while i'm in that 3 month or longer limbo of having no health insurance through whatever job would give me a chance given my situation (probably not many).
So sorry for such a gigantic post, but my problem is quite distinct compared to normal people (maybe not many of you guys), and I really need help and advice on what to do. I thought about paying a professional resume company to make my resume look great and maybe BS some on it to help fill in the time gags of employment/no employment, but will that even be helpful when people are so prejudicial in the first place regarding my special circumstances.
I'm a pretty bright guy, and i've always been an excellent employee, even if the jobs were mostly kitchen work (about all you can find under the table besides construction, and i've tried that too), lasting at each job on average 2 years each place. The bad part is, 2 of the three of the places I list as past employment are long gone closed, and the third and last place I worked (about 7 years ago, maybe 8 years ago) noone except the original owners are there and aren't that open to talking to law enforcement places about how I worked there under the table. Though the wife owner did talk to my background investigator during my employment attempt with the county law enforcment. I do feel I would be an asset to any company that would give me a real chance to prove my worth and show i'm an industrious and valuable employee.
I really don't know what to do, and I don't want to waste the remaining fairly healthy time I got just sitting around on disability and playing video games, watching my life pass me by. I'm pretty sure if I apply to something federal law enforcement based, how I am now, I will either get laughed at or my info thrown in the trash due to crappy work experience in their eyes. If I try to get employment in something like local armed security that pays relatively nothing but more than I am receiving now, i'll get work experience, but have to either out of pocket my health care needs, put my fiancee on the house deed (something tells me my mother won't allow that regardless) to get on hers, or TOBRA myself (program for individuals self employed etc for health care) which is pretty expensive I hear. I could possibly apply how I am now to other surrounding county detention deputy programs/academies, but i'm nearly positive their big bone of contention will also be my work history like it was here in my county and it will be another year of jumping through hoops, only for it all to be more wasted time. The only other option might be social securities "Get back to work program", where basically you get to work ultra part time but can't make more than X amount of money for fear of them cutting off your benefits (it's almost nothing income wise for them to cut you off), that lasts for like a year and then after that, you are totally on your own.
Thanks for reading my general life story/situation...If you can offer up any serious advice that might benefit me, i'd REALLY appreciate it, cause mentally i'm pretty bad off due to being treated like crap for something that's not my fault, and showing I can do just as good as others, and often times better.
I REALLY NEED HELP/QUALITY ADVICE!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
I performed and passed with flying colors, everything they threw at me. I didn't get any of the positions I applied for, even though I was WAY beyond qualified (theres some real crappy detention deputies and even worse community services officer which I also applied for) with a degree in criminal justice where I graduated with high honors (cum laude), had a very successful collegiate internship program with the sheriff's dept, and several glowing letters of recommendation from a very well known officer (now detective), and a successful lawyer I have known for a very long time (for character affirmation), and never having done anything beyond petty juvenile things, I didn't get crap and I became very depressed afterwards. I was also treated by my background investigator like I was always lieing, because he didn't believe how an almost 34 year old strapping guy never had a job before. That's what I told him at the original application turnin/interview, because I hadn't had a "regular job" before, only 3 or 4 jobs that were mostly restaurant work and "under the table". I told him it wasn't me attempting to be deceptive, I was just basing it on a "real job" as in I never turned in a W-2 form before.
I also explained my entire personal background, including my disease and my history with my disease in general (had to explain the whole disease as well), and how I had to not work due to my health, having to stay on my mothers insurance for my treatment and medications, and how If I was to work it couldn't be anywhere other that a job that would pay fairly well (im not greedy, it would need to pay half decent for me to be able to upkeep my house and take care of my medical premiums and other health related costs when my mother passes away and leaves me the house to live in), and if I did work anywhere I would immediately be shown to not be handicapped and would lose not only my mothers insurance but my fathers social security benefits (my only income). So my plan was to get an education, take care of my disease as best I could, and then bite the bullet and jump into the dark abyss of the uncertain future and get a professional job so I could be 100% independent for the first time in my whole life.
Personally I would have hired myself. The whole experience was a growing and learning experience, but it helped to greatly lessen what little faith I had left in humanity. Now here I am, qualified, with generally good health (for a cf anyways), and pretty much depressed and not sure what I can do. My lack of work experience is the big hurdle I have now, and regardless if my explanations sound very logical and sound (I think they do), employers (especially state government) don't give a s**t it seems.
Finally after quite a while of feeling despondent and not trying anything else due to me "Putting my eggs all in one basket", and noone being able to give me any advice besides "Hang in there", or "Keep trying" (even from social workers), i said i'll just pile on as many financially possible (to me) certifications as I can to my resume, to help offset the obvious lack of work history. After I certified in two different firearms, got my D security license, my G security license, certifications in oleoresin capsicum secondary weaponry, expandable baton secondary weaponry, and future plans to further my security certifications (money permitting), here I sit.
I'm confused, and despondent in general. It REALLY F'ing sucks to be in a gray area that CF creates. I'm still pretty healthy (I will fully come to that conclusion after my CF docs evaluation on the 10th of this month), and I want to marry my LONG term fiancee, get a real career, and be 100% independent and atleast have a good 10 more years (I hope) of being healthy and working.
I currently live with my fiancee, my elderly mother, and my newly re-moved in middle sister (she went crazy, and got a divorce) and our 6 dogs and 2 cats (3 of the dogs are my sisters, 1 cat is hers). My mother is very old, she is 73 and has had 2 congestive heart failures, and a very time limited porcine heart valve replacement which it's time will be up very soon. My name is on the house, as well as my sisters name, but my mother officially owns the house.
My mother plans to leave me the home (it's fully paid off, but the yearly taxes are a killer due to local population boom and businesses going in). So my living place is taken care of, but i'm not sure how much money my mother will leave me, even though she says "You will be taken care of", but i'm assuming even though my sisters love me and are great caring women, and they realize i'll need the money more than they will (one is married with a little girl and has their own house and is doing ok, the other lives with me but has her own house she rents out and makes ok money with her current boyfriend property wise). Thankfully my truck is also paid off (96 model, but it's a nissan and should probably run for a lot more).
I need some serious advice (I know I can be a freak on here and i'm silly, but just asking for serious realistic advice from you guys this time) on what to do. I figured to get certified in security as well as I could (that is now over), and get some work experience in security. The problem is, unless you are deemed very desireable by say wackenhut to protect say a nuclear power plant and earn 20+ dollars an hour carrying an AR-14 (after more training), security work doesn't pay that well at all. Most armed jobs you would be lucky to find something for around 10 bucks an hour. As you are well aware, when you get a new job, they almost always hold your insurance benefits for atleast 3 months or so. So I would be a CF patient with 3 months of no coverage and have no ability to pay for very expensive medications out of pocket like pulmozyme or my enzymes or the colistin im on. Hell even a 1-2 month supply of albuterol is expensive out of pocket, especially on a fixed income of social security (better than most, but not all that).
I have been told that I could apply for domestiv partner health insurance through my fiancee's job (dental company), but the prereqrasites are pretty rediculous, including her having to be put on the deed to the house (something my mother is very afraid of, even though she loves her like a daughter...cause all people can change, and if she cheats on me and we break it off, or I screw up, she could own the house). My fiancee takes care of my auto insurance now, bless her for that.
I haven't tried to apply to any other institution (state/federal/local) that security/my degree in law enforcement would be appropriate, because after my last experience jumping through all the hoops for the local law enforcement in pursuit of employment, it exposed my HUGE weakness, and that's work experience. And I can't improve on my work experience deficiencies unless I am employed, and basically I can't be employed unless I make "ok" money that's better than my benefits I get now, or will allow me to pay for my own health insurance (somehow) while i'm in that 3 month or longer limbo of having no health insurance through whatever job would give me a chance given my situation (probably not many).
So sorry for such a gigantic post, but my problem is quite distinct compared to normal people (maybe not many of you guys), and I really need help and advice on what to do. I thought about paying a professional resume company to make my resume look great and maybe BS some on it to help fill in the time gags of employment/no employment, but will that even be helpful when people are so prejudicial in the first place regarding my special circumstances.
I'm a pretty bright guy, and i've always been an excellent employee, even if the jobs were mostly kitchen work (about all you can find under the table besides construction, and i've tried that too), lasting at each job on average 2 years each place. The bad part is, 2 of the three of the places I list as past employment are long gone closed, and the third and last place I worked (about 7 years ago, maybe 8 years ago) noone except the original owners are there and aren't that open to talking to law enforcement places about how I worked there under the table. Though the wife owner did talk to my background investigator during my employment attempt with the county law enforcment. I do feel I would be an asset to any company that would give me a real chance to prove my worth and show i'm an industrious and valuable employee.
I really don't know what to do, and I don't want to waste the remaining fairly healthy time I got just sitting around on disability and playing video games, watching my life pass me by. I'm pretty sure if I apply to something federal law enforcement based, how I am now, I will either get laughed at or my info thrown in the trash due to crappy work experience in their eyes. If I try to get employment in something like local armed security that pays relatively nothing but more than I am receiving now, i'll get work experience, but have to either out of pocket my health care needs, put my fiancee on the house deed (something tells me my mother won't allow that regardless) to get on hers, or TOBRA myself (program for individuals self employed etc for health care) which is pretty expensive I hear. I could possibly apply how I am now to other surrounding county detention deputy programs/academies, but i'm nearly positive their big bone of contention will also be my work history like it was here in my county and it will be another year of jumping through hoops, only for it all to be more wasted time. The only other option might be social securities "Get back to work program", where basically you get to work ultra part time but can't make more than X amount of money for fear of them cutting off your benefits (it's almost nothing income wise for them to cut you off), that lasts for like a year and then after that, you are totally on your own.
Thanks for reading my general life story/situation...If you can offer up any serious advice that might benefit me, i'd REALLY appreciate it, cause mentally i'm pretty bad off due to being treated like crap for something that's not my fault, and showing I can do just as good as others, and often times better.
I REALLY NEED HELP/QUALITY ADVICE!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">