I'm not really looking for encouraging poasts back, i'm just venting, of all people you guys will get what i'm talking about.
So, everyone has to admit, these sites at time can be a bit depressing... Its this site that reminds me most that i'm not "normal", i have something extra on my plate. Most of the time, when i go out in the "real world", i mostly forget of my CF, that is until one of my friends lights up, or i realize that i'm the only one in the room coughing.
Sometimes, i get incredibly jealous, almost angry of my friends for knowing that unless of a freak accidnet, they'll live until the age of about sixty. I'll probably never know that comfort. Knowing that my family has already picked out my coffin just makes me want to scream and hide, but no matter how well i do, it's always there. Its like a ticking time bomb in side me, and i can never escape it, except through death, which is the thing i'm the most afraid of.
Why me? Why us? why anyone? why should a single mistake made in the first couple days of our lives determine how we live on and view the world?
After i get over the fact that life, is unfair, and no matter what, will find someway to totally screw you over the second it gets a chance, i begin to realize that maybe because i know i'll only live about half the time my friends will, helps me. I've been forced to grow up a lot quicker than any of them, will this force make me hold onto and live everysingle moment of my life?
I have gotten over feeling sorry for myself, and wanting pitty is a waste of your time and mine. <b>I will no longer let my diesease define me</b>. It is only one of the many small obsticles that have influenced the make up of the person i have become. if i get over how much life sucks, maybe it'll show me that because i suffer from a lack of time, I'll make up for it by the quality of my life, and what i do to achieve it.
So, everyone has to admit, these sites at time can be a bit depressing... Its this site that reminds me most that i'm not "normal", i have something extra on my plate. Most of the time, when i go out in the "real world", i mostly forget of my CF, that is until one of my friends lights up, or i realize that i'm the only one in the room coughing.
Sometimes, i get incredibly jealous, almost angry of my friends for knowing that unless of a freak accidnet, they'll live until the age of about sixty. I'll probably never know that comfort. Knowing that my family has already picked out my coffin just makes me want to scream and hide, but no matter how well i do, it's always there. Its like a ticking time bomb in side me, and i can never escape it, except through death, which is the thing i'm the most afraid of.
Why me? Why us? why anyone? why should a single mistake made in the first couple days of our lives determine how we live on and view the world?
After i get over the fact that life, is unfair, and no matter what, will find someway to totally screw you over the second it gets a chance, i begin to realize that maybe because i know i'll only live about half the time my friends will, helps me. I've been forced to grow up a lot quicker than any of them, will this force make me hold onto and live everysingle moment of my life?
I have gotten over feeling sorry for myself, and wanting pitty is a waste of your time and mine. <b>I will no longer let my diesease define me</b>. It is only one of the many small obsticles that have influenced the make up of the person i have become. if i get over how much life sucks, maybe it'll show me that because i suffer from a lack of time, I'll make up for it by the quality of my life, and what i do to achieve it.