Thank you

[littledebbiesmom]

I don't have the words to thank you for all of the love you have expressed for Debbie and the outpouring of compassion for our family the past week. The absolutely flawless red roses you sent were a beautiful addition to her memorial service, representing you, her friends. The heartfelt posts, the private messages, I didn't think anything could offer any comfort, but you know what? It really helps to not feel alone with the loss. What a lovely group of unique, caring people you are, no wonder she loved you. Debbie's sister talked about this a few days ago and I wasn't sure I would share my perspective of what happened but it occurred to me today that there are a couple of things Debbie would probably like for you to know. Debbie appreciated Allie sharing Ry's story because he died peacefully and she found that comforting. I think she would like me to let you know that didn't seem to suffer any discomfort, physically or emotionally. She was in the hospital for what we thought would be "routine" IV treatment. She had a PICC line placed and was very sleepy afterward. She just never really woke up. As she began to crash her doctor, whom she really loved, tried some inhalation, PT, and a little bit of suction but with no results at all. She slept throughout until very briefly she opened her eyes and looked at me and her doctor standing side by side and uttered kind of fondly "f***ing idiots" and made a "stop" gesture with her hands. She was saying "don't you guys get where we are?" I wouldn't have shared this part if it wasn't already out there, it sounds so harsh and it was actually so full of love. She was letting us know this was it. We didn't have to make a decision. As she had throughout her life, she did the hard part. Without complaint or undue sentiment, she told us what to do. She drove all the way to the end. The doctor later remarked it "was a gift" and I couldn't agree more. Debbie always tried to spare me. Her final act was for me. She spared me having to make that last call. It was so her, so in synch with the way she lived her life.
The second thing I thought I would mention in case it's bothering anyone is Debbie's wish to die at home. I have lots of things running through my mind that I wish I could change or do over but oddly; I am ok with this one. We were both envisioning a slow decline. She didn't want to spend days or weeks in the hospital when she could be lying on the couch at home. As it is, it happened so fast, she drifted off to sleep thinking she was starting IVs and never regained consciousness. She spent her last hours with no medical intervention other than oxygen and no medical staff, only family.
I so want to talk to her, to have her reassure me that she's comfortable with the way this all went. How ridiculous it is that someone so alive, so "big", (thank you Karen) who lived so well, should to leave us goes without saying. I just mean that- well, she always reassured me that I was helping in some way, I will so miss her telling me that......
Tonight is the first night I could feel God- all I felt moved to say to him was thank you. Thank you for letting me know her, have her, be her mother. Debbie likened the two of us to war buddies. Thank you God for letting it be me.
I don't really know if this should be a blog or post but it's going to be a post since that's the one I have that figured out. Thank you for letting me share this tonight.
Mary
littledebbiesmom

 

[littledebbiesmom]

I don't have the words to thank you for all of the love you have expressed for Debbie and the outpouring of compassion for our family the past week. The absolutely flawless red roses you sent were a beautiful addition to her memorial service, representing you, her friends. The heartfelt posts, the private messages, I didn't think anything could offer any comfort, but you know what? It really helps to not feel alone with the loss. What a lovely group of unique, caring people you are, no wonder she loved you. Debbie's sister talked about this a few days ago and I wasn't sure I would share my perspective of what happened but it occurred to me today that there are a couple of things Debbie would probably like for you to know. Debbie appreciated Allie sharing Ry's story because he died peacefully and she found that comforting. I think she would like me to let you know that didn't seem to suffer any discomfort, physically or emotionally. She was in the hospital for what we thought would be "routine" IV treatment. She had a PICC line placed and was very sleepy afterward. She just never really woke up. As she began to crash her doctor, whom she really loved, tried some inhalation, PT, and a little bit of suction but with no results at all. She slept throughout until very briefly she opened her eyes and looked at me and her doctor standing side by side and uttered kind of fondly "f***ing idiots" and made a "stop" gesture with her hands. She was saying "don't you guys get where we are?" I wouldn't have shared this part if it wasn't already out there, it sounds so harsh and it was actually so full of love. She was letting us know this was it. We didn't have to make a decision. As she had throughout her life, she did the hard part. Without complaint or undue sentiment, she told us what to do. She drove all the way to the end. The doctor later remarked it "was a gift" and I couldn't agree more. Debbie always tried to spare me. Her final act was for me. She spared me having to make that last call. It was so her, so in synch with the way she lived her life.
The second thing I thought I would mention in case it's bothering anyone is Debbie's wish to die at home. I have lots of things running through my mind that I wish I could change or do over but oddly; I am ok with this one. We were both envisioning a slow decline. She didn't want to spend days or weeks in the hospital when she could be lying on the couch at home. As it is, it happened so fast, she drifted off to sleep thinking she was starting IVs and never regained consciousness. She spent her last hours with no medical intervention other than oxygen and no medical staff, only family.
I so want to talk to her, to have her reassure me that she's comfortable with the way this all went. How ridiculous it is that someone so alive, so "big", (thank you Karen) who lived so well, should to leave us goes without saying. I just mean that- well, she always reassured me that I was helping in some way, I will so miss her telling me that......
Tonight is the first night I could feel God- all I felt moved to say to him was thank you. Thank you for letting me know her, have her, be her mother. Debbie likened the two of us to war buddies. Thank you God for letting it be me.
I don't really know if this should be a blog or post but it's going to be a post since that's the one I have that figured out. Thank you for letting me share this tonight.
Mary
littledebbiesmom

 

[littledebbiesmom]

I don't have the words to thank you for all of the love you have expressed for Debbie and the outpouring of compassion for our family the past week. The absolutely flawless red roses you sent were a beautiful addition to her memorial service, representing you, her friends. The heartfelt posts, the private messages, I didn't think anything could offer any comfort, but you know what? It really helps to not feel alone with the loss. What a lovely group of unique, caring people you are, no wonder she loved you. Debbie's sister talked about this a few days ago and I wasn't sure I would share my perspective of what happened but it occurred to me today that there are a couple of things Debbie would probably like for you to know. Debbie appreciated Allie sharing Ry's story because he died peacefully and she found that comforting. I think she would like me to let you know that didn't seem to suffer any discomfort, physically or emotionally. She was in the hospital for what we thought would be "routine" IV treatment. She had a PICC line placed and was very sleepy afterward. She just never really woke up. As she began to crash her doctor, whom she really loved, tried some inhalation, PT, and a little bit of suction but with no results at all. She slept throughout until very briefly she opened her eyes and looked at me and her doctor standing side by side and uttered kind of fondly "f***ing idiots" and made a "stop" gesture with her hands. She was saying "don't you guys get where we are?" I wouldn't have shared this part if it wasn't already out there, it sounds so harsh and it was actually so full of love. She was letting us know this was it. We didn't have to make a decision. As she had throughout her life, she did the hard part. Without complaint or undue sentiment, she told us what to do. She drove all the way to the end. The doctor later remarked it "was a gift" and I couldn't agree more. Debbie always tried to spare me. Her final act was for me. She spared me having to make that last call. It was so her, so in synch with the way she lived her life.
The second thing I thought I would mention in case it's bothering anyone is Debbie's wish to die at home. I have lots of things running through my mind that I wish I could change or do over but oddly; I am ok with this one. We were both envisioning a slow decline. She didn't want to spend days or weeks in the hospital when she could be lying on the couch at home. As it is, it happened so fast, she drifted off to sleep thinking she was starting IVs and never regained consciousness. She spent her last hours with no medical intervention other than oxygen and no medical staff, only family.
I so want to talk to her, to have her reassure me that she's comfortable with the way this all went. How ridiculous it is that someone so alive, so "big", (thank you Karen) who lived so well, should to leave us goes without saying. I just mean that- well, she always reassured me that I was helping in some way, I will so miss her telling me that......
Tonight is the first night I could feel God- all I felt moved to say to him was thank you. Thank you for letting me know her, have her, be her mother. Debbie likened the two of us to war buddies. Thank you God for letting it be me.
I don't really know if this should be a blog or post but it's going to be a post since that's the one I have that figured out. Thank you for letting me share this tonight.
Mary
littledebbiesmom

 

[littledebbiesmom]

I don't have the words to thank you for all of the love you have expressed for Debbie and the outpouring of compassion for our family the past week. The absolutely flawless red roses you sent were a beautiful addition to her memorial service, representing you, her friends. The heartfelt posts, the private messages, I didn't think anything could offer any comfort, but you know what? It really helps to not feel alone with the loss. What a lovely group of unique, caring people you are, no wonder she loved you. Debbie's sister talked about this a few days ago and I wasn't sure I would share my perspective of what happened but it occurred to me today that there are a couple of things Debbie would probably like for you to know. Debbie appreciated Allie sharing Ry's story because he died peacefully and she found that comforting. I think she would like me to let you know that didn't seem to suffer any discomfort, physically or emotionally. She was in the hospital for what we thought would be "routine" IV treatment. She had a PICC line placed and was very sleepy afterward. She just never really woke up. As she began to crash her doctor, whom she really loved, tried some inhalation, PT, and a little bit of suction but with no results at all. She slept throughout until very briefly she opened her eyes and looked at me and her doctor standing side by side and uttered kind of fondly "f***ing idiots" and made a "stop" gesture with her hands. She was saying "don't you guys get where we are?" I wouldn't have shared this part if it wasn't already out there, it sounds so harsh and it was actually so full of love. She was letting us know this was it. We didn't have to make a decision. As she had throughout her life, she did the hard part. Without complaint or undue sentiment, she told us what to do. She drove all the way to the end. The doctor later remarked it "was a gift" and I couldn't agree more. Debbie always tried to spare me. Her final act was for me. She spared me having to make that last call. It was so her, so in synch with the way she lived her life.
The second thing I thought I would mention in case it's bothering anyone is Debbie's wish to die at home. I have lots of things running through my mind that I wish I could change or do over but oddly; I am ok with this one. We were both envisioning a slow decline. She didn't want to spend days or weeks in the hospital when she could be lying on the couch at home. As it is, it happened so fast, she drifted off to sleep thinking she was starting IVs and never regained consciousness. She spent her last hours with no medical intervention other than oxygen and no medical staff, only family.
I so want to talk to her, to have her reassure me that she's comfortable with the way this all went. How ridiculous it is that someone so alive, so "big", (thank you Karen) who lived so well, should to leave us goes without saying. I just mean that- well, she always reassured me that I was helping in some way, I will so miss her telling me that......
Tonight is the first night I could feel God- all I felt moved to say to him was thank you. Thank you for letting me know her, have her, be her mother. Debbie likened the two of us to war buddies. Thank you God for letting it be me.
I don't really know if this should be a blog or post but it's going to be a post since that's the one I have that figured out. Thank you for letting me share this tonight.
Mary
littledebbiesmom

 

[littledebbiesmom]

I don't have the words to thank you for all of the love you have expressed for Debbie and the outpouring of compassion for our family the past week. The absolutely flawless red roses you sent were a beautiful addition to her memorial service, representing you, her friends. The heartfelt posts, the private messages, I didn't think anything could offer any comfort, but you know what? It really helps to not feel alone with the loss. What a lovely group of unique, caring people you are, no wonder she loved you. Debbie's sister talked about this a few days ago and I wasn't sure I would share my perspective of what happened but it occurred to me today that there are a couple of things Debbie would probably like for you to know. Debbie appreciated Allie sharing Ry's story because he died peacefully and she found that comforting. I think she would like me to let you know that didn't seem to suffer any discomfort, physically or emotionally. She was in the hospital for what we thought would be "routine" IV treatment. She had a PICC line placed and was very sleepy afterward. She just never really woke up. As she began to crash her doctor, whom she really loved, tried some inhalation, PT, and a little bit of suction but with no results at all. She slept throughout until very briefly she opened her eyes and looked at me and her doctor standing side by side and uttered kind of fondly "f***ing idiots" and made a "stop" gesture with her hands. She was saying "don't you guys get where we are?" I wouldn't have shared this part if it wasn't already out there, it sounds so harsh and it was actually so full of love. She was letting us know this was it. We didn't have to make a decision. As she had throughout her life, she did the hard part. Without complaint or undue sentiment, she told us what to do. She drove all the way to the end. The doctor later remarked it "was a gift" and I couldn't agree more. Debbie always tried to spare me. Her final act was for me. She spared me having to make that last call. It was so her, so in synch with the way she lived her life.
The second thing I thought I would mention in case it's bothering anyone is Debbie's wish to die at home. I have lots of things running through my mind that I wish I could change or do over but oddly; I am ok with this one. We were both envisioning a slow decline. She didn't want to spend days or weeks in the hospital when she could be lying on the couch at home. As it is, it happened so fast, she drifted off to sleep thinking she was starting IVs and never regained consciousness. She spent her last hours with no medical intervention other than oxygen and no medical staff, only family.
I so want to talk to her, to have her reassure me that she's comfortable with the way this all went. How ridiculous it is that someone so alive, so "big", (thank you Karen) who lived so well, should to leave us goes without saying. I just mean that- well, she always reassured me that I was helping in some way, I will so miss her telling me that......
Tonight is the first night I could feel God- all I felt moved to say to him was thank you. Thank you for letting me know her, have her, be her mother. Debbie likened the two of us to war buddies. Thank you God for letting it be me.
I don't really know if this should be a blog or post but it's going to be a post since that's the one I have that figured out. Thank you for letting me share this tonight.
Mary
littledebbiesmom

 

[jdprecious]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I have no words, just tears! The way you thanked God for just allowing you to know her and to be her mother... That is the way I thank God for Jaelyn everyday! So many healing hugs to you and your family!

Love
Jess

 

[jdprecious]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I have no words, just tears! The way you thanked God for just allowing you to know her and to be her mother... That is the way I thank God for Jaelyn everyday! So many healing hugs to you and your family!

Love
Jess

 

[jdprecious]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I have no words, just tears! The way you thanked God for just allowing you to know her and to be her mother... That is the way I thank God for Jaelyn everyday! So many healing hugs to you and your family!

Love
Jess

 

[jdprecious]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I have no words, just tears! The way you thanked God for just allowing you to know her and to be her mother... That is the way I thank God for Jaelyn everyday! So many healing hugs to you and your family!

Love
Jess

 

[jdprecious]

<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0"> I have no words, just tears! The way you thanked God for just allowing you to know her and to be her mother... That is the way I thank God for Jaelyn everyday! So many healing hugs to you and your family!

Love
Jess

 

[65rosessamurai]

Very Touching...kinda embarrased cause I'm getting a bit teary-eyed.

I won't say God had planned all this, but I would say that I think that perhaps what Debbie may had wanted was when it was her time, for it to be peaceful, whether in the hospital or at home.
From your words, it seemed she was content with how her life had "bowed out", and her fight had ended in peace.

I think whether this was a blog, or post, either way I don't think anyone would complain about it, and many will come to see it!

Peace,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

Very Touching...kinda embarrased cause I'm getting a bit teary-eyed.

I won't say God had planned all this, but I would say that I think that perhaps what Debbie may had wanted was when it was her time, for it to be peaceful, whether in the hospital or at home.
From your words, it seemed she was content with how her life had "bowed out", and her fight had ended in peace.

I think whether this was a blog, or post, either way I don't think anyone would complain about it, and many will come to see it!

Peace,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

Very Touching...kinda embarrased cause I'm getting a bit teary-eyed.

I won't say God had planned all this, but I would say that I think that perhaps what Debbie may had wanted was when it was her time, for it to be peaceful, whether in the hospital or at home.
From your words, it seemed she was content with how her life had "bowed out", and her fight had ended in peace.

I think whether this was a blog, or post, either way I don't think anyone would complain about it, and many will come to see it!

Peace,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

Very Touching...kinda embarrased cause I'm getting a bit teary-eyed.

I won't say God had planned all this, but I would say that I think that perhaps what Debbie may had wanted was when it was her time, for it to be peaceful, whether in the hospital or at home.
From your words, it seemed she was content with how her life had "bowed out", and her fight had ended in peace.

I think whether this was a blog, or post, either way I don't think anyone would complain about it, and many will come to see it!

Peace,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

Very Touching...kinda embarrased cause I'm getting a bit teary-eyed.

I won't say God had planned all this, but I would say that I think that perhaps what Debbie may had wanted was when it was her time, for it to be peaceful, whether in the hospital or at home.
From your words, it seemed she was content with how her life had "bowed out", and her fight had ended in peace.

I think whether this was a blog, or post, either way I don't think anyone would complain about it, and many will come to see it!

Peace,
Fred

 

[ladybug]

Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your touching words about Debbie's final hours/moments. I am crying because of what wonderful things you have to say about her and the wonderful things she said about/to you. You were both so lucky to be together on this journey.

I am not troubled at all by how Debbie left this world. It does sound peaceful and, as you mentioned, she seemed to have it all "figured out" telling everyone else this is how it would be done.

May God be with and bless you during this difficult time and may you always find this a place of comfort surrounded by friends. How wonderful that she is speaking through you, her true and best friend, now.

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[ladybug]

Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your touching words about Debbie's final hours/moments. I am crying because of what wonderful things you have to say about her and the wonderful things she said about/to you. You were both so lucky to be together on this journey.

I am not troubled at all by how Debbie left this world. It does sound peaceful and, as you mentioned, she seemed to have it all "figured out" telling everyone else this is how it would be done.

May God be with and bless you during this difficult time and may you always find this a place of comfort surrounded by friends. How wonderful that she is speaking through you, her true and best friend, now.

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[ladybug]

Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your touching words about Debbie's final hours/moments. I am crying because of what wonderful things you have to say about her and the wonderful things she said about/to you. You were both so lucky to be together on this journey.

I am not troubled at all by how Debbie left this world. It does sound peaceful and, as you mentioned, she seemed to have it all "figured out" telling everyone else this is how it would be done.

May God be with and bless you during this difficult time and may you always find this a place of comfort surrounded by friends. How wonderful that she is speaking through you, her true and best friend, now.

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[ladybug]

Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your touching words about Debbie's final hours/moments. I am crying because of what wonderful things you have to say about her and the wonderful things she said about/to you. You were both so lucky to be together on this journey.

I am not troubled at all by how Debbie left this world. It does sound peaceful and, as you mentioned, she seemed to have it all "figured out" telling everyone else this is how it would be done.

May God be with and bless you during this difficult time and may you always find this a place of comfort surrounded by friends. How wonderful that she is speaking through you, her true and best friend, now.

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[ladybug]

Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing your touching words about Debbie's final hours/moments. I am crying because of what wonderful things you have to say about her and the wonderful things she said about/to you. You were both so lucky to be together on this journey.

I am not troubled at all by how Debbie left this world. It does sound peaceful and, as you mentioned, she seemed to have it all "figured out" telling everyone else this is how it would be done.

May God be with and bless you during this difficult time and may you always find this a place of comfort surrounded by friends. How wonderful that she is speaking through you, her true and best friend, now.

<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">