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Allie

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I would ask if she got the email, though it's doubtful she didn't. Maybe you can ask her if she's got any questions? You can explain to her you just wanted to show the reality of your life, not make her feel awkward.

Or you could gradually hang out with her less and less, wait for her to come to you, versus jsut writing her out.
 
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Allie

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I would ask if she got the email, though it's doubtful she didn't. Maybe you can ask her if she's got any questions? You can explain to her you just wanted to show the reality of your life, not make her feel awkward.

Or you could gradually hang out with her less and less, wait for her to come to you, versus jsut writing her out.
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I am glad that she wrote you back. She just sounds like a "Me" person. She comes first always. Most people are more obvious about making the "me" presence more noticable. I say go out and talk and make more sincere friends. If you feel like her energy is draining to you try and find more free spirited people who are very nice.

Risa
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I am glad that she wrote you back. She just sounds like a "Me" person. She comes first always. Most people are more obvious about making the "me" presence more noticable. I say go out and talk and make more sincere friends. If you feel like her energy is draining to you try and find more free spirited people who are very nice.

Risa
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I am confused..how is that a bad letter or a Me letter? Really, everyone is a ME person or really should be. The Me has to come first and then everyone else. It sounded like she did want you to feel free to vent whenever and she ended it with a joke to lighten the mood. That is how she is dealing with it and that sounds fine. Of course she is going to go on and talk about her self, isn't that what letters are all about? I am just confused
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I am confused..how is that a bad letter or a Me letter? Really, everyone is a ME person or really should be. The Me has to come first and then everyone else. It sounded like she did want you to feel free to vent whenever and she ended it with a joke to lighten the mood. That is how she is dealing with it and that sounds fine. Of course she is going to go on and talk about her self, isn't that what letters are all about? I am just confused
 
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Allie

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

But I think what Kelly needs is more support from her. Right now, she's feeling like her friand won't be there when she ahs a need for more support, and what she really needed was reassurance that her friend cared about her CF and was willing to learn and help, and I don't think she got that from the letter.

Kelly, you must do what's right for you. I have friends I no longer keep in touch with because they can't 'deal' either. I hope you get it all worked out.
 
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Allie

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

But I think what Kelly needs is more support from her. Right now, she's feeling like her friand won't be there when she ahs a need for more support, and what she really needed was reassurance that her friend cared about her CF and was willing to learn and help, and I don't think she got that from the letter.

Kelly, you must do what's right for you. I have friends I no longer keep in touch with because they can't 'deal' either. I hope you get it all worked out.
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I dunno. Her friend replied and said she was there for her to "vent" to. She seemed supportive to me. Actually sounds like a pretty good friend. Take her up on her offer and vent to her the next time you have a bad day. I don't think this friend did anything wrong that she should be dumped. Good gosh, friends are hard to come by. Give this friend a chance.
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

I dunno. Her friend replied and said she was there for her to "vent" to. She seemed supportive to me. Actually sounds like a pretty good friend. Take her up on her offer and vent to her the next time you have a bad day. I don't think this friend did anything wrong that she should be dumped. Good gosh, friends are hard to come by. Give this friend a chance.
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

To me it didn't sound as if she blew you off. You gave her information. She said she was there for you. Some people just don't know how they can help. I always offer to help when friends or coworkers are sick. I send flowers and cards, do the "my thoughts and prayers are with you comment, but other than that, I don't have a clue. If someone would say --- hey, you know what, you could bring me some cookies from the bakery, walk my dog, pick up my mail, bring me something to read.... I'd do it in a heart beat, but I need guidance.

On the other hand, a friend of ours has a girlfriend who I swear just SUCKS THE LIFE out of me with her constant poor me poor me routine --- it's always about money, exhusband, her kids, her illness of the week and it gets to the point where I just want to slap her, shake her 'til her teeth chatter and yell -- walk in our shoes baby! Some people don't get it. They'll ask you how you're feeling and use that as an excuse to go into a long winded diatribe about how they feel worse. Liza
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

To me it didn't sound as if she blew you off. You gave her information. She said she was there for you. Some people just don't know how they can help. I always offer to help when friends or coworkers are sick. I send flowers and cards, do the "my thoughts and prayers are with you comment, but other than that, I don't have a clue. If someone would say --- hey, you know what, you could bring me some cookies from the bakery, walk my dog, pick up my mail, bring me something to read.... I'd do it in a heart beat, but I need guidance.

On the other hand, a friend of ours has a girlfriend who I swear just SUCKS THE LIFE out of me with her constant poor me poor me routine --- it's always about money, exhusband, her kids, her illness of the week and it gets to the point where I just want to slap her, shake her 'til her teeth chatter and yell -- walk in our shoes baby! Some people don't get it. They'll ask you how you're feeling and use that as an excuse to go into a long winded diatribe about how they feel worse. Liza
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

It also might be important to remember that we may have set an example. If we go along for a long time not talking and sharing our CF with a person and then we kind of do in one day. The other person may be unsure if it is something you actaully <i>want</i> to talk about or not. I think she just put the ball back in your court saying ...I don't want to pry or be intrusive but I'm here if you want me.....so let her know you want her, see how she does...give her a chance. Be patient, we've had our whole lives to wrap our minds around CF and what it means, newbies need a little patience from us. Maybe she felt it was important to go along as normal to show you she still thinks of you the same, and that she doesn't want you to think it has changed the friendship for her. I guess I'm just saying give her a chance, what can it hurt?, if she is a flake you will find out and then you can lose her. But maybe she has the potential to be a very good friend to you and those are hard to come by. Good Luck!!
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:Non-CF friends not getting it. *PART2

It also might be important to remember that we may have set an example. If we go along for a long time not talking and sharing our CF with a person and then we kind of do in one day. The other person may be unsure if it is something you actaully <i>want</i> to talk about or not. I think she just put the ball back in your court saying ...I don't want to pry or be intrusive but I'm here if you want me.....so let her know you want her, see how she does...give her a chance. Be patient, we've had our whole lives to wrap our minds around CF and what it means, newbies need a little patience from us. Maybe she felt it was important to go along as normal to show you she still thinks of you the same, and that she doesn't want you to think it has changed the friendship for her. I guess I'm just saying give her a chance, what can it hurt?, if she is a flake you will find out and then you can lose her. But maybe she has the potential to be a very good friend to you and those are hard to come by. Good Luck!!
 
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