fondreflections
New member
Well, I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind, and I'd like to get some opinions from all of you.
As many of you know, Jake and I are on the 'waiting list' for 1-2 fost/adopt children. We were pretty open in regards to what we were willing to accept. Basically, we said either a boy or girl, 6-months to 4-years, mild to moderate emotional, physical, educational, and contining birth family contact (if advised). We only said 'no' to children with moderate to severe medical needs because we didn't think we could handle another medical needy person under one household.
We were pretty open like I said; however, our wait could still be at least 6-9 months...As many of you know, we did receive our first call nearly 2 weeks ago; however, it wasn't really that close to what we were even looking for.
My neighbor who has fostered through the same agency that we are using stated that the first couple calls that we are going to get will be the 'wrong ones'. She basically said that we are like 'extras' for now. If the agency has a family with 10 years experience and room for one more, they will choose them over us since we are new and don't have bio kids...I can understand that to a point. It makes sense; however, I feel that we should do something more to 'prove' that we are really 'in this'. We need to stand out somehow...
Bonnie also said that she and her husband did straight foster care and nearly half their children did come up for adoption. She said that half the states and counties don't even have a 'fost/adopt' program. All the program is is social workers making an 'educated guess' that those kids aren't going back...I have spent many hours over the past few days researching fost/adopt vs. straight foster care, and I must admit that the lines are blurred very closey to each other.
So this is what I've been thinking...Maybe Jake and I should straight foster one child. Meanwhile, we will stay on the 'fost/adopt' list for one child. That way we still won't have more than two children at any given time. During our 'waiting for a fost/adopt child', we are supporting RU (reunification) with our foster child and gaining experience with not just children, but with children that have more demanding needs due to their situations. We are willing to put in the effort. Yes, our hearts will be on the line. Yes, RU could be so hard when we come home from returning the child only to find an empty bed; however, we feel be have to. We MUST take our chances. Isn't everything a chance???
On another note, with fost/adopt you wait 6-9 months for a placement. You then have the child for 2 years BEFORE they either go back to their parents or are able to be adopted. It is a LONG road. If RU does happen, I would be happy for the child as long as it's in the child's best interests. However, I would feel saddened that it took 2-2.5 years to come to that decision. I'm sure at least half of you could understand that.
With foster care, it is considered a 'short term' placement. Within 6 months, the child either goes back (which is usually the case) or goes up for adoption.
Jake and I discussed this last night at length and have decided that to play both fields would probably be in everyone's best interests. We give a child or 2 a good home, get exeperience, and are a permanent resource if needed.
So what do you think? I have thrown this around almost constantly for the past couple days and am leaning to 90% 'yes'. I just thought I'd ask all of you for your opinions on the issue. THANK YOU!!!
As many of you know, Jake and I are on the 'waiting list' for 1-2 fost/adopt children. We were pretty open in regards to what we were willing to accept. Basically, we said either a boy or girl, 6-months to 4-years, mild to moderate emotional, physical, educational, and contining birth family contact (if advised). We only said 'no' to children with moderate to severe medical needs because we didn't think we could handle another medical needy person under one household.
We were pretty open like I said; however, our wait could still be at least 6-9 months...As many of you know, we did receive our first call nearly 2 weeks ago; however, it wasn't really that close to what we were even looking for.
My neighbor who has fostered through the same agency that we are using stated that the first couple calls that we are going to get will be the 'wrong ones'. She basically said that we are like 'extras' for now. If the agency has a family with 10 years experience and room for one more, they will choose them over us since we are new and don't have bio kids...I can understand that to a point. It makes sense; however, I feel that we should do something more to 'prove' that we are really 'in this'. We need to stand out somehow...
Bonnie also said that she and her husband did straight foster care and nearly half their children did come up for adoption. She said that half the states and counties don't even have a 'fost/adopt' program. All the program is is social workers making an 'educated guess' that those kids aren't going back...I have spent many hours over the past few days researching fost/adopt vs. straight foster care, and I must admit that the lines are blurred very closey to each other.
So this is what I've been thinking...Maybe Jake and I should straight foster one child. Meanwhile, we will stay on the 'fost/adopt' list for one child. That way we still won't have more than two children at any given time. During our 'waiting for a fost/adopt child', we are supporting RU (reunification) with our foster child and gaining experience with not just children, but with children that have more demanding needs due to their situations. We are willing to put in the effort. Yes, our hearts will be on the line. Yes, RU could be so hard when we come home from returning the child only to find an empty bed; however, we feel be have to. We MUST take our chances. Isn't everything a chance???
On another note, with fost/adopt you wait 6-9 months for a placement. You then have the child for 2 years BEFORE they either go back to their parents or are able to be adopted. It is a LONG road. If RU does happen, I would be happy for the child as long as it's in the child's best interests. However, I would feel saddened that it took 2-2.5 years to come to that decision. I'm sure at least half of you could understand that.
With foster care, it is considered a 'short term' placement. Within 6 months, the child either goes back (which is usually the case) or goes up for adoption.
Jake and I discussed this last night at length and have decided that to play both fields would probably be in everyone's best interests. We give a child or 2 a good home, get exeperience, and are a permanent resource if needed.
So what do you think? I have thrown this around almost constantly for the past couple days and am leaning to 90% 'yes'. I just thought I'd ask all of you for your opinions on the issue. THANK YOU!!!