A Young Cyster Scared and losing hope...

[TemptressOfTheSea]

I will try to spare everybody with a novel, so I'll get straight to the point.

I was VERY anti transplant for myself until I underwent an abdominal surgery with subsequent pneumonia that almost killed me. I made it through but my lung function is in the crapper. I want to live. I want to be able to breathe without effort.

I'm getting scared now, because I'm on the verge of being listed, and I'm unsure how long I can hold on. Both physically and mentally. I feel so shitty everyday that sometimes I wonder if I should take a couple extra handfuls of sleeping medication (if you know what I mean). Anything is better than this. But I would NEVER, EVER do that to my loved ones. So I just rely on whatever pain script the doc will write or me. It changes everything. But I also know transplant centers don't want patients on narcotics prior to transplant.


I'm just so lost, scared, tired of fighting this incredible daemon for 23 years now. If someone has any words of comfort or advice please don't hesitate to reply or PM me.

Thanks for listening.

 

[TemptressOfTheSea]

I will try to spare everybody with a novel, so I'll get straight to the point.

I was VERY anti transplant for myself until I underwent an abdominal surgery with subsequent pneumonia that almost killed me. I made it through but my lung function is in the crapper. I want to live. I want to be able to breathe without effort.

I'm getting scared now, because I'm on the verge of being listed, and I'm unsure how long I can hold on. Both physically and mentally. I feel so shitty everyday that sometimes I wonder if I should take a couple extra handfuls of sleeping medication (if you know what I mean). Anything is better than this. But I would NEVER, EVER do that to my loved ones. So I just rely on whatever pain script the doc will write or me. It changes everything. But I also know transplant centers don't want patients on narcotics prior to transplant.


I'm just so lost, scared, tired of fighting this incredible daemon for 23 years now. If someone has any words of comfort or advice please don't hesitate to reply or PM me.

Thanks for listening.

 

[TemptressOfTheSea]

I will try to spare everybody with a novel, so I'll get straight to the point.

I was VERY anti transplant for myself until I underwent an abdominal surgery with subsequent pneumonia that almost killed me. I made it through but my lung function is in the crapper. I want to live. I want to be able to breathe without effort.

I'm getting scared now, because I'm on the verge of being listed, and I'm unsure how long I can hold on. Both physically and mentally. I feel so shitty everyday that sometimes I wonder if I should take a couple extra handfuls of sleeping medication (if you know what I mean). Anything is better than this. But I would NEVER, EVER do that to my loved ones. So I just rely on whatever pain script the doc will write or me. It changes everything. But I also know transplant centers don't want patients on narcotics prior to transplant.


I'm just so lost, scared, tired of fighting this incredible daemon for 23 years now. If someone has any words of comfort or advice please don't hesitate to reply or PM me.

Thanks for listening.

 

[TemptressOfTheSea]

I will try to spare everybody with a novel, so I'll get straight to the point.

I was VERY anti transplant for myself until I underwent an abdominal surgery with subsequent pneumonia that almost killed me. I made it through but my lung function is in the crapper. I want to live. I want to be able to breathe without effort.

I'm getting scared now, because I'm on the verge of being listed, and I'm unsure how long I can hold on. Both physically and mentally. I feel so shitty everyday that sometimes I wonder if I should take a couple extra handfuls of sleeping medication (if you know what I mean). Anything is better than this. But I would NEVER, EVER do that to my loved ones. So I just rely on whatever pain script the doc will write or me. It changes everything. But I also know transplant centers don't want patients on narcotics prior to transplant.


I'm just so lost, scared, tired of fighting this incredible daemon for 23 years now. If someone has any words of comfort or advice please don't hesitate to reply or PM me.

Thanks for listening.

 

[TemptressOfTheSea]

I will try to spare everybody with a novel, so I'll get straight to the point.
<br />
<br />I was VERY anti transplant for myself until I underwent an abdominal surgery with subsequent pneumonia that almost killed me. I made it through but my lung function is in the crapper. I want to live. I want to be able to breathe without effort.
<br />
<br />I'm getting scared now, because I'm on the verge of being listed, and I'm unsure how long I can hold on. Both physically and mentally. I feel so shitty everyday that sometimes I wonder if I should take a couple extra handfuls of sleeping medication (if you know what I mean). Anything is better than this. But I would NEVER, EVER do that to my loved ones. So I just rely on whatever pain script the doc will write or me. It changes everything. But I also know transplant centers don't want patients on narcotics prior to transplant.
<br />
<br />
<br />I'm just so lost, scared, tired of fighting this incredible daemon for 23 years now. If someone has any words of comfort or advice please don't hesitate to reply or PM me.
<br />
<br />Thanks for listening.

 

[Jane]

It IS so scary Haley! You are not alone in this. I'm so glad you asked for encouragement, many people here will have good advice.

Do you have good support from your family? Do you have a counselor or a good social worker to talk to? Have you looked into antidepressants? There are things you can do to feel better (mentally) while you're waiting for your transplant.

I just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[Jane]

It IS so scary Haley! You are not alone in this. I'm so glad you asked for encouragement, many people here will have good advice.

Do you have good support from your family? Do you have a counselor or a good social worker to talk to? Have you looked into antidepressants? There are things you can do to feel better (mentally) while you're waiting for your transplant.

I just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[Jane]

It IS so scary Haley! You are not alone in this. I'm so glad you asked for encouragement, many people here will have good advice.

Do you have good support from your family? Do you have a counselor or a good social worker to talk to? Have you looked into antidepressants? There are things you can do to feel better (mentally) while you're waiting for your transplant.

I just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[Jane]

It IS so scary Haley! You are not alone in this. I'm so glad you asked for encouragement, many people here will have good advice.

Do you have good support from your family? Do you have a counselor or a good social worker to talk to? Have you looked into antidepressants? There are things you can do to feel better (mentally) while you're waiting for your transplant.

I just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[Jane]

It IS so scary Haley! You are not alone in this. I'm so glad you asked for encouragement, many people here will have good advice.
<br />
<br />Do you have good support from your family? Do you have a counselor or a good social worker to talk to? Have you looked into antidepressants? There are things you can do to feel better (mentally) while you're waiting for your transplant.
<br />
<br />I just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[CountryGirl]

You should definitely get listed. Centers don't mind if you are taking narcotics at the time of being listed or while you are listed, as long as they are prescribed by a physician for logical reasons. I was taking morphine and percocet when I was listed. Don't worry about that. As long as you aren't taking illegal street drugs or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem...I was 19 at the time and they even knew that I had an alcoholic drink on occasion. They know we're human.

To help with being mentally and physically drained, I can only suggest talking to someone. Someone who can prescribe anti anxiety and anti depressant meds if you aren't on them already. Sorry I'm not of any more help.

Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[CountryGirl]

You should definitely get listed. Centers don't mind if you are taking narcotics at the time of being listed or while you are listed, as long as they are prescribed by a physician for logical reasons. I was taking morphine and percocet when I was listed. Don't worry about that. As long as you aren't taking illegal street drugs or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem...I was 19 at the time and they even knew that I had an alcoholic drink on occasion. They know we're human.

To help with being mentally and physically drained, I can only suggest talking to someone. Someone who can prescribe anti anxiety and anti depressant meds if you aren't on them already. Sorry I'm not of any more help.

Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[CountryGirl]

You should definitely get listed. Centers don't mind if you are taking narcotics at the time of being listed or while you are listed, as long as they are prescribed by a physician for logical reasons. I was taking morphine and percocet when I was listed. Don't worry about that. As long as you aren't taking illegal street drugs or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem...I was 19 at the time and they even knew that I had an alcoholic drink on occasion. They know we're human.

To help with being mentally and physically drained, I can only suggest talking to someone. Someone who can prescribe anti anxiety and anti depressant meds if you aren't on them already. Sorry I'm not of any more help.

Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[CountryGirl]

You should definitely get listed. Centers don't mind if you are taking narcotics at the time of being listed or while you are listed, as long as they are prescribed by a physician for logical reasons. I was taking morphine and percocet when I was listed. Don't worry about that. As long as you aren't taking illegal street drugs or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem...I was 19 at the time and they even knew that I had an alcoholic drink on occasion. They know we're human.

To help with being mentally and physically drained, I can only suggest talking to someone. Someone who can prescribe anti anxiety and anti depressant meds if you aren't on them already. Sorry I'm not of any more help.

Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[CountryGirl]

You should definitely get listed. Centers don't mind if you are taking narcotics at the time of being listed or while you are listed, as long as they are prescribed by a physician for logical reasons. I was taking morphine and percocet when I was listed. Don't worry about that. As long as you aren't taking illegal street drugs or anything like that, there shouldn't be a problem...I was 19 at the time and they even knew that I had an alcoholic drink on occasion. They know we're human.
<br />
<br />To help with being mentally and physically drained, I can only suggest talking to someone. Someone who can prescribe anti anxiety and anti depressant meds if you aren't on them already. Sorry I'm not of any more help.
<br />
<br />Good luck and hang in there!!

 

[JustDucky]

((((Haley))))...Please seek help in the form of counseling, maybe your social worker can help you with this. It isn't uncommon to have such feelings of despair....I have definitely been there, feeling like throwing in the towel and just fed up with fighting so hard. It also helps if you have a good support system at home, how is your family with all of this? I know this is one battle that is nearly impossible to fight alone. Please hang in there, talk to your doctor about your pain and any other issues that are troubling you.
Many hugs,
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

((((Haley))))...Please seek help in the form of counseling, maybe your social worker can help you with this. It isn't uncommon to have such feelings of despair....I have definitely been there, feeling like throwing in the towel and just fed up with fighting so hard. It also helps if you have a good support system at home, how is your family with all of this? I know this is one battle that is nearly impossible to fight alone. Please hang in there, talk to your doctor about your pain and any other issues that are troubling you.
Many hugs,
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

((((Haley))))...Please seek help in the form of counseling, maybe your social worker can help you with this. It isn't uncommon to have such feelings of despair....I have definitely been there, feeling like throwing in the towel and just fed up with fighting so hard. It also helps if you have a good support system at home, how is your family with all of this? I know this is one battle that is nearly impossible to fight alone. Please hang in there, talk to your doctor about your pain and any other issues that are troubling you.
Many hugs,
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

((((Haley))))...Please seek help in the form of counseling, maybe your social worker can help you with this. It isn't uncommon to have such feelings of despair....I have definitely been there, feeling like throwing in the towel and just fed up with fighting so hard. It also helps if you have a good support system at home, how is your family with all of this? I know this is one battle that is nearly impossible to fight alone. Please hang in there, talk to your doctor about your pain and any other issues that are troubling you.
Many hugs,
Jenn

 

[JustDucky]

((((Haley))))...Please seek help in the form of counseling, maybe your social worker can help you with this. It isn't uncommon to have such feelings of despair....I have definitely been there, feeling like throwing in the towel and just fed up with fighting so hard. It also helps if you have a good support system at home, how is your family with all of this? I know this is one battle that is nearly impossible to fight alone. Please hang in there, talk to your doctor about your pain and any other issues that are troubling you.
<br />Many hugs,
<br />Jenn