Advice on health effect having 2nd child

[danie]

hi there,<br>
<br>
I hope there's somebody who an help me. I'm looking for CF patients
who have been in similar situation as myself. Who have decided
(probably after long and carefull thinking) to have a 2nd child. I
have CF, diagnosed at birth, FEV1 70% (has been so for last 10
years fortunately). 6 years ago when I was 32 I gave birth to my
son. Pregnancy went well and as with many CF patients he was
premature (5 wks) but healthy. It was heavy, he was ill a lot, did
not sleep well and as a result we were sleep deprived for 3 years.
This did have effects on my health. I had to use more antibiotics
(although still only oral; I've not been in hospital other then to
give birth fortunately). Since january this years I stopped working
and now I'm feeling so well and energetic hat we are considering
having a second child. There's nothing in the world I would like
more then that. But of course it it a risc. I'm 38 now. This is the
hardest decision I've ever had to make. I want it so bad, but I'm
also scared to death. I would really appreciate your stories and
experience if you've been in a similar position and have chosen to
have that 2nd child. What is it like? What effects did it have on
you etc. Thanx you very much in advance!<br>
PS Sorry for the bad english (I'm dutch).

 

[julie]

Hi Danie,

I don't have any advice for you as my husband is the one with CF, but I just wanted to welcome you to this site!!!!!!

I do believe there are a few women on here who have CF and have had more than one pregnancy, actually wanderlost is currently pregnant with her second and due in October. I imagine you might be wanting info on health after that second baby though, so talking to someone who's already delivered might be more ideal. I do believe that there are a few others on here, and hopefully they can help answer your questions.

Welcome to the site, and your english... it's GREAT!!! Don't worry about it, I never would have know until you posted that you were Dutch. Welcome, welcome!!!

 

[Landy]

I really don't have any advice for you, but would like to share my feelings on how I've felt about a second child.
I had my first child when I was 28 and real healthy. I had made the decision early-on that because of my CF that I would not have children (personal choice, obviously we all differ).
Well....God must have had 'other' plans for me because I got pregnant, freaked out, went on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy, was sleep deprived, like you were after the baby came because our little one needed fed every 2 hours--day & night until she was approx 4-5 months old<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0"> and that was rough on me/my health.
I had a surgery scheduled to repair a hernia when she was under a year old & at that time I had the doctor tie my tubes.
Well....now that she's an 11 year old only child I wished I would have had a second child as soon as I could after the first one, so she would have someone close to her age to play with and in the event of my death (I hope not anytime soon!!), then she would have a sibling to go through that with.
You know the saying (in the US at least).....hindsight is 20/20.
It is a tough decision to make. If you and your doctor feel you're healthy enough, then listen to what your heart is telling you.

 

[wanderlost]

HI!
I am pregnant with my second child, and sound much like you - I have only been in the hospital for childbirth as well, and have PFTs in the 70s. My son was also 5 weeks early, but went right home! This pregnancy has not affected my health much at all - I had one sinus infection requiring an oral antibiotic, but that has been it. I am more tired this time, but I am 7 years older and chasing around a 6 year old, so it's a reasonable tired. I don't forsee any problems with this pregnancy or child, as far as my health is concerned, but Ill knock on wood that my good fortune continues. Good luck to you, please keep us posted, and if you have any other questions feel free to ask or pm me!

 

[JazzysMom]

I (we) choice not to have another child after lots of mental torment. What clinched it for me was when my daughter (2 years at that time) got very sick. It took everything out of me to care for her & not kill myself. When she was an infant I found it much easier to handle, but during tht time I realized I couldnt do it again. It wouldnt be fair to my husband, my daughter, any new baby, our animals, friends/family or myself. Its an individual decision just like having to make that decision on whether to get pregnant the first time. I have thought about adoption & the good thing with that is that I dont need to go thru the infancy stages, but I dont know if that will ever happen. In the meantime we have a beautiful, healthy daughter & my health is stable.

 

[Marjolein]

Haihai!

Nice to see another Dutchie here I can't really help you but i can give you a website <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.cfenkinderen.nl">http://www.cfenkinderen.nl</a> The first link there is from Elly. She is a cf mom with 2 teenage daughters. But maybe you already know her as she is the spokesperson of the NCFS about CF and Children.

Groetjes, Marjolein

 

[Scarlett81]

Well, not all will agree with this I'm sure, but I'll say my opinion anyhow.

You have alot going for you. You don't work, you've already had a baby so you know the risks and benefits, you have a high FEV1....

When that maternal instinct is strong-and it's real you know it! Anybody, CF or no CF will be told if they have a baby at 38 there are higher risks of things. But look how many women are having babies older today?! And even if you did have a child with a health problem-(worse case scenario) would you love it any less? No way! Even women who have no Cf worry about these things. But I don't believe that worrying about things that you have no control over should stop you. My mother had her last baby at 36, and my mother in law had her last at 43! Healthy.

I say-if you are faced with a risk-and you are informed about what you have to do to avoid it, then decide if its worth it. Like me-I decided to take my chance and try for a baby-I know the risks, and what I have to do to avoid them. But I could do everything right and have a perfect pregnancy a labor, and my child could have a health problem not related to CF! I'm just saying I don't think that you should worry about something that isn't in your control. Worry about what is in your control.

Good luck.

 

[Jem]

I have three children.  I was 27, 28 and 31 when I had them.
 Deciding to have the second one was not a  difficult
decision for me  because my oldest was an easy baby and I was
feeling very well.  Having the third one was  more of a
decision but  not because of my health, which was stable, but
because having two young kids is a handful for anyone.  We
always wanted three and I didn't want to have too many years
between them, (my husband is 9 and 13 years younger than his
brothers so he always felt like an only child and missed having
that close relationship).  I decided to go for the third
because I have a very supportive husband who is a real hands on dad
and also since I was able to be a stay at home mom I had less
stress on me since I didn't have to juggle a job and family.
 My kids have kept me so busy and active over the years with
all the activities they were/are involved and i have to say that is
a good thing  I don't think about tomorrow because they have
me so busy living in today.  Good luck with your
decision.  Although there are no more children in my future I
am about to become a godmother in less than 3 weeks!  I am so
excited and plan on being a active part of this child's life.
 I have so many good things to look forward too as I am sure
you do as well.  Enjoy!