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Anger/refusal to cooperate with doctors?

M

mneville

Guest
Aidan is a smart, spirited, challenging 6 year old who does everything to stay healthy but has horrible CF sinuses and CANNOT stay well for more than 4 weeks after a surgery. So we are now on a schedule of PICC line and extensive sinus surgery every three months. He is PISSED! It gets so hard because he knows exactly what is coming and he hates to get in the car, refuses to cooperate at times and can be aggressive.

Aidan likes perfection and is so angry at CF and doctors and procedures. Does anyone else have kids that are just so resentful and angry with every procedure? He has emotional breakdowns more and more. He does see a psychologist and talks to her. What else can we do as his parents? I just want to tell him he'll get better but he gets sick so often I can't even tell him that anymore. Thanks

Megan
 
M

mneville

Guest
Aidan is a smart, spirited, challenging 6 year old who does everything to stay healthy but has horrible CF sinuses and CANNOT stay well for more than 4 weeks after a surgery. So we are now on a schedule of PICC line and extensive sinus surgery every three months. He is PISSED! It gets so hard because he knows exactly what is coming and he hates to get in the car, refuses to cooperate at times and can be aggressive.

Aidan likes perfection and is so angry at CF and doctors and procedures. Does anyone else have kids that are just so resentful and angry with every procedure? He has emotional breakdowns more and more. He does see a psychologist and talks to her. What else can we do as his parents? I just want to tell him he'll get better but he gets sick so often I can't even tell him that anymore. Thanks

Megan
 
M

mneville

Guest
Aidan is a smart, spirited, challenging 6 year old who does everything to stay healthy but has horrible CF sinuses and CANNOT stay well for more than 4 weeks after a surgery. So we are now on a schedule of PICC line and extensive sinus surgery every three months. He is PISSED! It gets so hard because he knows exactly what is coming and he hates to get in the car, refuses to cooperate at times and can be aggressive.
<br />
<br />Aidan likes perfection and is so angry at CF and doctors and procedures. Does anyone else have kids that are just so resentful and angry with every procedure? He has emotional breakdowns more and more. He does see a psychologist and talks to her. What else can we do as his parents? I just want to tell him he'll get better but he gets sick so often I can't even tell him that anymore. Thanks
<br />
<br />Megan
 
A

AimeeSue82

New member
Wow, poor little guy. I wasn't every very sick as a little kid, but I did get very stressed out about clinic appointments and getting shots- I would panic before we got there, freaking out, crying, hyperventilating, etc. Eventually Aidan will realize this is just something he has to go through, but at 6 it doesn't make any sense. And I know sinus surgery is aweful and painful and nothing will ever change that. My parents eventually started bribing me so that I wouldn't freak out BEFORE going to the dr. I could cry after the shot, but not before. My mom started promising me that if I behaved, I could get a new toy. That's how I ended up with an Easy Bake Oven and a Creepy Crawler Machine! Maybe if Aidan had some incentive to not get hysterical before the dr, it would help calm him. I know bribery isn't really a good parenting technique, but going through surgery every couple months deserves some reward. Good luck!
~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA
 
A

AimeeSue82

New member
Wow, poor little guy. I wasn't every very sick as a little kid, but I did get very stressed out about clinic appointments and getting shots- I would panic before we got there, freaking out, crying, hyperventilating, etc. Eventually Aidan will realize this is just something he has to go through, but at 6 it doesn't make any sense. And I know sinus surgery is aweful and painful and nothing will ever change that. My parents eventually started bribing me so that I wouldn't freak out BEFORE going to the dr. I could cry after the shot, but not before. My mom started promising me that if I behaved, I could get a new toy. That's how I ended up with an Easy Bake Oven and a Creepy Crawler Machine! Maybe if Aidan had some incentive to not get hysterical before the dr, it would help calm him. I know bribery isn't really a good parenting technique, but going through surgery every couple months deserves some reward. Good luck!
~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA
 
A

AimeeSue82

New member
Wow, poor little guy. I wasn't every very sick as a little kid, but I did get very stressed out about clinic appointments and getting shots- I would panic before we got there, freaking out, crying, hyperventilating, etc. Eventually Aidan will realize this is just something he has to go through, but at 6 it doesn't make any sense. And I know sinus surgery is aweful and painful and nothing will ever change that. My parents eventually started bribing me so that I wouldn't freak out BEFORE going to the dr. I could cry after the shot, but not before. My mom started promising me that if I behaved, I could get a new toy. That's how I ended up with an Easy Bake Oven and a Creepy Crawler Machine! Maybe if Aidan had some incentive to not get hysterical before the dr, it would help calm him. I know bribery isn't really a good parenting technique, but going through surgery every couple months deserves some reward. Good luck!
<br />~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA
 
M

mamerth

New member
When I was a teenager my mom did a bit of bribery with me too. If I cooperated with the ENT I could go shopping afterward (for shoes or something). Surgeries usually meant lots of books for me to read during my recovery. Even before my diagnosis if I took my icky tasting medicine my mom had a peppermint patty in her purse for me to eat.

Hmm... maybe my hubby needs to bribe me to not fuss and fume before blood draws and stuff. I do my best but this CF gets so old and frustrating. Guess I need to find some incentives for myself if I stay calm during procedures-- a little more appropriate for a 37 year old. :)
 
M

mamerth

New member
When I was a teenager my mom did a bit of bribery with me too. If I cooperated with the ENT I could go shopping afterward (for shoes or something). Surgeries usually meant lots of books for me to read during my recovery. Even before my diagnosis if I took my icky tasting medicine my mom had a peppermint patty in her purse for me to eat.

Hmm... maybe my hubby needs to bribe me to not fuss and fume before blood draws and stuff. I do my best but this CF gets so old and frustrating. Guess I need to find some incentives for myself if I stay calm during procedures-- a little more appropriate for a 37 year old. :)
 
M

mamerth

New member
When I was a teenager my mom did a bit of bribery with me too. If I cooperated with the ENT I could go shopping afterward (for shoes or something). Surgeries usually meant lots of books for me to read during my recovery. Even before my diagnosis if I took my icky tasting medicine my mom had a peppermint patty in her purse for me to eat.
<br />
<br />Hmm... maybe my hubby needs to bribe me to not fuss and fume before blood draws and stuff. I do my best but this CF gets so old and frustrating. Guess I need to find some incentives for myself if I stay calm during procedures-- a little more appropriate for a 37 year old. :)
 
M

mamaScarlett

Active member
My mom spent ALOT of 'quality' time with me when I was little and in the hospital/prepping for procedures etc. I was also very sick as a young child and basically lived in the hospital.
Its not that she spoiled me, but she always brought new games, craft type things, movies, etc to do and she did them all with me.
I think she actually did the opposite of spoil me bc she gave me incentive to cooperate and do my treatments. Parents give their kids incentive all the time-if they get a good report card, with school sport activities, etc..they get a reward. The newest toy, movie.
There was a young girl with Cf that posted a similar type question recently and I told her to try to find something she likes doing that she can do in the hospital. I loved painting and my mom brought me things to encourage that. Something that your son can do with his hands and focus on would probably be really good for him. You have to slowly introduce something and gently nudge and encourage it. Try bringing him to a craft store and having him look at all the boy type projects out there.
She also regularly brought friends to the hospital to be with me for an afternoon. At that age bottom line is that kids are not going to understand or accept why they are stuck with this Cf crap and their friends are not. A new game, toy, project, etc distracts them enough to have fun and let their mind escape for a bit.
I think you parents have the hardest job in the world and deserve alot of credit. No parent knows all the time what the best thing is to do. You know your son. Try to think of what you can do or say to ease this for him-and remember at his age it will only ease it for a moment and then he'll get upset again. Thats just the age.
Oh, and remember please its totally normal for him to be angry like this. Normal!
 
M

mamaScarlett

Active member
My mom spent ALOT of 'quality' time with me when I was little and in the hospital/prepping for procedures etc. I was also very sick as a young child and basically lived in the hospital.
Its not that she spoiled me, but she always brought new games, craft type things, movies, etc to do and she did them all with me.
I think she actually did the opposite of spoil me bc she gave me incentive to cooperate and do my treatments. Parents give their kids incentive all the time-if they get a good report card, with school sport activities, etc..they get a reward. The newest toy, movie.
There was a young girl with Cf that posted a similar type question recently and I told her to try to find something she likes doing that she can do in the hospital. I loved painting and my mom brought me things to encourage that. Something that your son can do with his hands and focus on would probably be really good for him. You have to slowly introduce something and gently nudge and encourage it. Try bringing him to a craft store and having him look at all the boy type projects out there.
She also regularly brought friends to the hospital to be with me for an afternoon. At that age bottom line is that kids are not going to understand or accept why they are stuck with this Cf crap and their friends are not. A new game, toy, project, etc distracts them enough to have fun and let their mind escape for a bit.
I think you parents have the hardest job in the world and deserve alot of credit. No parent knows all the time what the best thing is to do. You know your son. Try to think of what you can do or say to ease this for him-and remember at his age it will only ease it for a moment and then he'll get upset again. Thats just the age.
Oh, and remember please its totally normal for him to be angry like this. Normal!
 
M

mamaScarlett

Active member
My mom spent ALOT of 'quality' time with me when I was little and in the hospital/prepping for procedures etc. I was also very sick as a young child and basically lived in the hospital.
<br />Its not that she spoiled me, but she always brought new games, craft type things, movies, etc to do and she did them all with me.
<br />I think she actually did the opposite of spoil me bc she gave me incentive to cooperate and do my treatments. Parents give their kids incentive all the time-if they get a good report card, with school sport activities, etc..they get a reward. The newest toy, movie.
<br />There was a young girl with Cf that posted a similar type question recently and I told her to try to find something she likes doing that she can do in the hospital. I loved painting and my mom brought me things to encourage that. Something that your son can do with his hands and focus on would probably be really good for him. You have to slowly introduce something and gently nudge and encourage it. Try bringing him to a craft store and having him look at all the boy type projects out there.
<br />She also regularly brought friends to the hospital to be with me for an afternoon. At that age bottom line is that kids are not going to understand or accept why they are stuck with this Cf crap and their friends are not. A new game, toy, project, etc distracts them enough to have fun and let their mind escape for a bit.
<br />I think you parents have the hardest job in the world and deserve alot of credit. No parent knows all the time what the best thing is to do. You know your son. Try to think of what you can do or say to ease this for him-and remember at his age it will only ease it for a moment and then he'll get upset again. Thats just the age.
<br />Oh, and remember please its totally normal for him to be angry like this. Normal!
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
If You can talk him into getting a port it makes life much easier. It is very easy to use, and keeps getting stuck to a minimum. If I have to go on IV's I just have to get stuck once and you can hardly feel it, the needle gets changed once a week and You can do that at home. He wont need to get a PICC ever again. I got mine when I was 22 and wish I would of gotten it sooner. Good luck.

Colin
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
If You can talk him into getting a port it makes life much easier. It is very easy to use, and keeps getting stuck to a minimum. If I have to go on IV's I just have to get stuck once and you can hardly feel it, the needle gets changed once a week and You can do that at home. He wont need to get a PICC ever again. I got mine when I was 22 and wish I would of gotten it sooner. Good luck.

Colin
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
If You can talk him into getting a port it makes life much easier. It is very easy to use, and keeps getting stuck to a minimum. If I have to go on IV's I just have to get stuck once and you can hardly feel it, the needle gets changed once a week and You can do that at home. He wont need to get a PICC ever again. I got mine when I was 22 and wish I would of gotten it sooner. Good luck.
<br />
<br />Colin
 
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