Bit of Confusion, it Seems

[Emily65Roses]

<i>Hmm, having rethought what you said, Candice... I don't want my smart*ss comments to deflect away from the point I'm trying to make. So I've edited it.</i>

Allie has been questioned a lot in the past... what... 3 days? I don't know what exactly happened with SeanDavis, only what she told me, and what I read. But it sounds like it was Sean's idea and Allie kind of went along. As for the other main issue people are currently pissed off about, leave Allie be, okay? I'm the instigator, it was my idea to post all that stuff. If you need someone to blame for how you feel about it... Blame me.

But for the love of whatever, don't get pissy at Allie. She's a very good person. She has a hard time a lot, but we all know why. And who can blame her? I have no idea how I'd be if I were in her position. I'm inspired by her, whether or not she thinks I should be, because of how well she is doing. But no one's perfect, and she's in a very rough spot. She gets easily upset and shaken, and because of her circumstances, that equals to some less-than-good situations. Plus having me, the Temper Queen, as her little sidekick can't help. Ahahaha.

Think what you want about me. Just don't up and drop Allie on her *ss. She needs support now, and that's a big reason why she comes here. She cares about a lot of you, and a lot of you care about her. I know I'm not the only one who is immensely inspired by the stories about her and Ry's love. So don't make her feel like she's unwelcome. Everyone makes stupid mistakes. Let it be, move on, etc.

Mmkay?

(And Allie didn't tell me to say any of this. I said it of my own free will, so I'm not "fighting her battles for her." I'm simply voicing my opinion on it.)

 

[IG]

I don't see where anybody is pissed with Allie really.
Just upset over the topic itself, and perhaps the judgement used in that by both parties.
I also don't see the need for a scape goat, as far as I can see the discussion has for the most part been neutral (focusing more on the topic than either person), then again I'm not paying 100% attention to the boards lately so I could be wrong on a couple of points.
I think perhaps this is just fuel to the fire, once again, but that's just me.
Everybody is entitled to their own opinions.
*shrug

 

[Emily65Roses]

My attitude towards myself may very well fuel the fire. But I'm not worried about what people think of me. Ignore that part, for all I care. I was trying to add a bit of humor to an otherwise humorless post.

The main point of this is to make sure people don't jump down Allie's throat. Mistakes happen, let things go. That's all.

 

[Lilith]

I agree with you, Emily. Actually, I just can't seem to wrap my head around why this is still such a big issue...is it because no other dramas are going on right now so everybody has to focus solely on this topic? Allie apologized, and so has Sean. They both said it was only a joke. What more is there to say? Truthfully, I don't see why Allie should feel as bad as she does. It was a dumb mistake made at 1 in the morning. Everybody's made at least one of those. Why are some people still in an uproar about this???

Anyway, I hope Allie doesn't feel too bad about this for too long.

 

[Faust]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Lilith</b></i>
Actually, I just can't seem to wrap my head around why this is still such a big issue...</end quote></div>


That's because you have something in your head. I'm sure you remember from early middle school science class, that solids are harder to bend than the same size objects that are hollow.

 

[Lilith]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>SeanDavis</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Lilith</b></i>

Actually, I just can't seem to wrap my head around why this is still such a big issue...</end quote></div>





That's because you have something in your head. I'm sure you remember from early middle school science class, that solids are harder to bend than the same size objects that are hollow.</end quote></div>

Hmm, that's funny...some people have told me my head is empty...I'M SO CONFUSED!!

 

[Faust]

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">http://img87.imageshack.us/my.php?image=funny9pt.gif
</a>

 

[julie]

Lilith, My only issue is that allie hasn't come on and just stated something about it being a bad joke and whatever, that everyone else is explaining it. Unless I've missed her posting-which is entirely possible.

And Em, I completely understand you explaining to us what happened... I really do. I know we've all done that sort of thing on this site before, I know you've defended me while I wasn't online and I've done the same for you... and we've done it for others too-But there comes a point quickly when we also step up and defend or explain ourselves. But my point is now that many of us would just like to hear it from Allie. I honestly can't tell you WHY, but I feel somewhat frustrated about the whole thing-not mad at her, don't think she's a bad person, I KNOW she's been through a lot but I can only imagine at this point-not relate, but for some reason that's just the way MY mind works.

And I don't think anyone is dropping Allie on her A*S, I know for one I am not and I definately don't think any differently of her-I respect her and admire her strength, passion and determination just as I have since she first posted on here and I got to know here, it's just important to me to hear it from her....

I don't think anyone is mad at you either, there is no point in being mad. I just still really don't understand what went on and why it went on, I don't get it and I thought she was serious and was feeling terrible for her about the situation. When I found out it was a joke I was relieved for her, but then wanted to hear what happened.

 

[Emily65Roses]

While she didn't post about it here, she did discuss it a bit in her blog. Check that out if you want to hear it straight from her. <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

 

[LisaV]

Emily,
I know you say you aren't fighting Allie's battles for her, but in a way you are and have before.
Twice that I know of (on the wellspouse board and in your blog)you have posted in a way that made public, comments that you say Allie has made to you privately. And these posts have been confrontational. It doesn't seem to me that Allie is real comfortable with being publically confrontational.

Anyway, my suggestion would be to keep your conversations with Allie private. To respect her ability to judge which of her thoughts she wants to share publically and which she doesn't.

She seems a very competent and nice person (as do you). But you both seem to have different personalities (she describes herself on her blo site as shy).

You seem to roll with the punches and maybe enjoy the drama that your confrontational posts start, but it doesn't seem that Allie does (or she wouldn't be talking about leaving, would she).

So IMHO we should all let Allie find her own comfort-level in talking with us and not make her "go public" when she really isn't comfortable enough to initiate that.

All this unsolicited advice probably should be directed at Sean too who says he "thought of" the joke.

There's a difference between "going along" with what a friend has started (or at least trying to) and initiating herself.

In her new widowhood, I would like to let Allie only have to deal with those things that she herself is comfortable intiating.

Keeping you all in my heart,

 

[Scarlett81]

Emily- I think its great that Allie has you as a friend.

I don't think anyone was really mad at Allie. All I can do is speak for myself, and the thought never occured to me. I have so much respect for Allie, she's a vital part to this site. She's talented, she gives alot. After CF has robbed her of so much, she's still here! That means alot to me and many people.

And I don't mean to throw SeanDavis under the bus, but this thing did smell like him from the beginning! We all know him. <img src="i/expressions/beer.gif" border="0">

As Julie said, I don't think anyone's really mad at anyone. This isn't something to get mad over, people. I think people have a right to voice their opinion, which is what we do here. And you have to expect people to be annoyed about the prank. Pranks have a reputation for being annoying and getting people into trouble afterall! But its not the end of the world people. Next.....

 

[anonymous]

I have to agree with Lisa on this one. Let Allie decide what she wants to say about this one Emily. She's a big girl.

 

[anonymous]

I wasn't upset about the allie/sean thing -- just thought it was silly, immature. This is what upset me!

RyAllieAhava: Cf KILLS
RyAllieAhava: I hate how they downplay that
RyAllieAhava: to me, it makes CF look like less of a problem

****No kidding. CF kills. Agreed. I watched CF kill my Dad. I watched him die.


Emily65Roses: Yes, like we don't fight as much as we do. That pisses me off too. I don't want to be a hero or some sh*t. I'm not. But don't f***ing downplay what I live through

*******Everyone fights and in my opinion everyone who has CF or loves someone with CF is a hero. I NEVER have downplayed what anyone is going through. Please extend my family the same courtesy.


RyAllieAhava: and she said he was "inspiring"
RyAllieAhava: no, he was LUCKY

**********He was both. I knew him. You didn't.



Emily65Roses: Thank you. People who fight and die young are more inspiring if you ask me.
RyAllieAhava: living to be old doesn't make you inspiring to me


********* To some people it is inspiring to have hope that they or their kids can live a "long" life. But my Dad was inspiring because of the person he was, not his age. Which I would venture to guess is the same with Ry - from what I've read on Allie's posts he and Allie inspire me.


RyAllieAhava: People who faced thier lives and deaths with courage and honesty and humor
Emily65Roses: Yes, thank you.

************Then you would admire and respect my Dad, because he was the embodiment of courage, honesty and humor until the day he died.



RyAllieAhava: It's easy to live to be 70, it's hard to die young and leave everyone behind

**********It's not easy to live to be 68 with CF. I can't imagine how hard it is to die young and leave everyone behind. Not even I can imagine how hard it was for my Dad to live to 68 and leave everyone behind.


RyAllieAhava: dying and being on oxygen at 70 is normal
Emily65Roses: Yes. Sorry, again, but true.

**********Not true. Dying at 68 isn't normal. Most people retire at 68, not die.


RyAllieAhava: these people would cry if they ever faced realiity

**********We've faced our own reality and we have cried. A lot.


RyAllieAhava: IMHO You can head off this misinformation and the hopelessness it fosters by saying that in the "olden days" before the treatments and such that kids did die of it (and, that some misinformed people might still think that), but that nowadays here are folks with CF that are all grown up, married, and parents, and who knows how long his generation will live - except that it will be even longer.


***********The truth of the matter is that people are living longer. My lone comment about Dad not having treatments when he was younger was not to glorify him, but to emphasize that the CFF and the medical community have come a long way in the last few years. Obviously people young and old still die from CF and that SUCKS!



Emily65Roses: GOD it's like they're taking away from those of us who did or will die early.
RyAllieAhava: I know
Emily65Roses: Like we never existed. Like we never mattered.
Emily65Roses: AND THIS IS OUR OWN F***ING PEOPLE
RyAllieAhava: Ry was a twit who never did his meds
RyAllieAhava: Not a loving husband and father who faought for his life


********All I can say is I'm sorry you feel that way because I don't and my father didn't.



Emily65Roses: HE OBVIOUSLY HAD MILD CF

***********Until the last 8 years or so, it was pretty mild, by CF standards. It sure impacted his quality of life though. And the last 8 years, there was nothing mild about what he went through.



RyAllieAhava: I'm blogging about this
Emily65Roses: I am too.

********Me too.


I hope this helps to see where I am coming from. I am looking forward to watching izemmom's baby grow to be as old as my Dad - optimistic - yup! Absolutely unattainable - no way. Not from where I sit.


I volunteer my time, energy and efforts to the CFF of WI and sit on fundraising committees to cure this disease. No one there thinks it's unrealistic either.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Mind you, I asked Allie before I posted our conversation, and she gave me permission. I wouldn't have without asking first. And since then, I have deleted it. Pieces are still floating around, as they've been copied, but the bulk of it is gone.

She can say whatever she wants. So can I. I'm allowed to defend a friend if I feel the desire/need. Very many of the regulars here do that when there's an argument of some kind. Lots of us take sides, and defend each other. I don't see why my doing this is anything new to anybody.

As for the "drama I like to create and enjoy"... Hardly. I get angry. I am quite the Temper Queen, as I said. When I'm angry, so as not to punch the wall, or start yelling at people, I write about it. If you guys don't like what I have to say, don't read it. I say that ALL OVER my blog. Warning after warning about not reading it if you're unsure. Huge long disclaimer right at the top of the page, don't know how you can miss it.

Besides which, starting up a "controversial" topic is going to happen whether I do it or not. <i>Someone</i> will do it, sometime. I don't see what everyone's big d*mn deal is with controversial topics. I went about this one the wrong way, and have since apologized to those I felt I needed to. But beyond the less-than-rational way I said things, I stand by the meaning and/or points in it. Furthermore, after people calmed down a bit, and started talking, I think that's GOOD. Even if it's *gasp* about something we vehemently disagree on. It's good to see the other side. It allows for intelligence and understanding and such. Even if you don't agree, listening to logical explanations helps understand. I don't think there's ever been a time where I found understanding to be a bad thing.

 

[BigBee]

I'm with Emily on this one.  Not sure who Anon was upset by,
their comments or my response, but rest assured, Allie, Emily and I
are all good.  They posted what they felt at the time, I
responded from my perspective (on my blog) which is different from
the majority.  <br>
<br>
Hey, if anyone has comments on what I've said, feel free to respond
on my blog.  Maybe we can enlighten each other a bit.
 I've learned from Allie and Emily!<br>
<br>
Mary

 

[Emily65Roses]

Actually, Mary I think <i>you're</i> the majority. Just seems like we are, because the minority is filled with loud-mouths (i.e....me). <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

And while I'm here, I learned from you too. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

awwwww...((((((((((((group hug)))))))))))