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cf depression

maelstrom

New member
thanks for the responses. Michelle, what you said was very true... that marriage isn't about "having fun together", it's about sticking together through the hard times.. and we've had our share of both fun and hard times, already. But sadly it has seemed lately like he is the one who is not willing to want to stick it out when things are hard, which makes me feel like I have to act happy all the time, and plan lots of fun stuff for us, otherwise the minute I get upset about something he will give up. Which is basically what happened yesterday.

I guess I probably should have realized earlier that his depression was getting worse again, but I kept thinking that I could make things better by doing the happy act. That was misguided on my part. We did talk some more last night and he said that the things he said were the depression talking more than him. I brought up the points similar to those from saveferris that there are tools that you can learn to deal with depression. He is being stubborn in thinking that nothing can help him. He seems to think this because depression is so entrenched with his life now.. he said he gets depressed every time he coughs or his stomach hurts (which is pretty frequent, at least the coughing side). I don't know. I guess I can't convince him if he's not willing to be open to the possibility that things could get better. That's pretty hard for me to accept. I don't want to give up on us. But I also don't want to be the only one willing to fight for us.
 

maelstrom

New member
thanks for the responses. Michelle, what you said was very true... that marriage isn't about "having fun together", it's about sticking together through the hard times.. and we've had our share of both fun and hard times, already. But sadly it has seemed lately like he is the one who is not willing to want to stick it out when things are hard, which makes me feel like I have to act happy all the time, and plan lots of fun stuff for us, otherwise the minute I get upset about something he will give up. Which is basically what happened yesterday.

I guess I probably should have realized earlier that his depression was getting worse again, but I kept thinking that I could make things better by doing the happy act. That was misguided on my part. We did talk some more last night and he said that the things he said were the depression talking more than him. I brought up the points similar to those from saveferris that there are tools that you can learn to deal with depression. He is being stubborn in thinking that nothing can help him. He seems to think this because depression is so entrenched with his life now.. he said he gets depressed every time he coughs or his stomach hurts (which is pretty frequent, at least the coughing side). I don't know. I guess I can't convince him if he's not willing to be open to the possibility that things could get better. That's pretty hard for me to accept. I don't want to give up on us. But I also don't want to be the only one willing to fight for us.
 

maelstrom

New member
thanks for the responses. Michelle, what you said was very true... that marriage isn't about "having fun together", it's about sticking together through the hard times.. and we've had our share of both fun and hard times, already. But sadly it has seemed lately like he is the one who is not willing to want to stick it out when things are hard, which makes me feel like I have to act happy all the time, and plan lots of fun stuff for us, otherwise the minute I get upset about something he will give up. Which is basically what happened yesterday.

I guess I probably should have realized earlier that his depression was getting worse again, but I kept thinking that I could make things better by doing the happy act. That was misguided on my part. We did talk some more last night and he said that the things he said were the depression talking more than him. I brought up the points similar to those from saveferris that there are tools that you can learn to deal with depression. He is being stubborn in thinking that nothing can help him. He seems to think this because depression is so entrenched with his life now.. he said he gets depressed every time he coughs or his stomach hurts (which is pretty frequent, at least the coughing side). I don't know. I guess I can't convince him if he's not willing to be open to the possibility that things could get better. That's pretty hard for me to accept. I don't want to give up on us. But I also don't want to be the only one willing to fight for us.
 

maelstrom

New member
thanks for the responses. Michelle, what you said was very true... that marriage isn't about "having fun together", it's about sticking together through the hard times.. and we've had our share of both fun and hard times, already. But sadly it has seemed lately like he is the one who is not willing to want to stick it out when things are hard, which makes me feel like I have to act happy all the time, and plan lots of fun stuff for us, otherwise the minute I get upset about something he will give up. Which is basically what happened yesterday.

I guess I probably should have realized earlier that his depression was getting worse again, but I kept thinking that I could make things better by doing the happy act. That was misguided on my part. We did talk some more last night and he said that the things he said were the depression talking more than him. I brought up the points similar to those from saveferris that there are tools that you can learn to deal with depression. He is being stubborn in thinking that nothing can help him. He seems to think this because depression is so entrenched with his life now.. he said he gets depressed every time he coughs or his stomach hurts (which is pretty frequent, at least the coughing side). I don't know. I guess I can't convince him if he's not willing to be open to the possibility that things could get better. That's pretty hard for me to accept. I don't want to give up on us. But I also don't want to be the only one willing to fight for us.
 

maelstrom

New member
thanks for the responses. Michelle, what you said was very true... that marriage isn't about "having fun together", it's about sticking together through the hard times.. and we've had our share of both fun and hard times, already. But sadly it has seemed lately like he is the one who is not willing to want to stick it out when things are hard, which makes me feel like I have to act happy all the time, and plan lots of fun stuff for us, otherwise the minute I get upset about something he will give up. Which is basically what happened yesterday.
<br />
<br />I guess I probably should have realized earlier that his depression was getting worse again, but I kept thinking that I could make things better by doing the happy act. That was misguided on my part. We did talk some more last night and he said that the things he said were the depression talking more than him. I brought up the points similar to those from saveferris that there are tools that you can learn to deal with depression. He is being stubborn in thinking that nothing can help him. He seems to think this because depression is so entrenched with his life now.. he said he gets depressed every time he coughs or his stomach hurts (which is pretty frequent, at least the coughing side). I don't know. I guess I can't convince him if he's not willing to be open to the possibility that things could get better. That's pretty hard for me to accept. I don't want to give up on us. But I also don't want to be the only one willing to fight for us.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
My internet service is really slow and wonky today, so I am not in a position to do a search. But in one or two other threads, I posted a link to an article about research that turned up a connection between arachidonic acid and depression. People with CF tend to be high in arachidonic acid -- and this may be made worse by the standard diet advice offered at most clinics. Peanuts are high in arachidonic acid and seem to be a staple food in the CF community. My oldest son and I both have a relatively mild form of CF. We both gave up peanuts, peanut oil, and other peanut products about 3 1/2 years ago. (Not that I have managed to avoid it 100%, but I have done whatever I could to avoid it.) We are a lot healthier now and we can now tolerate peanut products in small quantities. For example, he has begun eating Reese's peanut butter cups again.

Anyway, you could do a search in the forums or wait a few days and when my internet service is less flaky I can try to find it again. There is also some info about arachidonic acid on my website on a page called "The Peanut Connection". Unfortunately, I don't believe it mentions the article about the link between arachidonic acid and depression.

Sorry for the rambling -- I am trying to suggest that dietary changes might help alleviate his depression. There may be a physiological basis to it. If so, working on his state of health will yield more progress than couple's counseling, heart-felt discussions and so on. I have two special needs kids and giving them the right vitamins and so forth is how we deal with things like a tendency to OCD in one child. I homeschooled them, had them in special ed, etc. I didn't find real solutions until we began dealing with the health issues. Not to say homeschooling and all that did nothing, just saying it didn't "fix" most of the problems. But dietary and lifestyle changes are fixing their problems.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
My internet service is really slow and wonky today, so I am not in a position to do a search. But in one or two other threads, I posted a link to an article about research that turned up a connection between arachidonic acid and depression. People with CF tend to be high in arachidonic acid -- and this may be made worse by the standard diet advice offered at most clinics. Peanuts are high in arachidonic acid and seem to be a staple food in the CF community. My oldest son and I both have a relatively mild form of CF. We both gave up peanuts, peanut oil, and other peanut products about 3 1/2 years ago. (Not that I have managed to avoid it 100%, but I have done whatever I could to avoid it.) We are a lot healthier now and we can now tolerate peanut products in small quantities. For example, he has begun eating Reese's peanut butter cups again.

Anyway, you could do a search in the forums or wait a few days and when my internet service is less flaky I can try to find it again. There is also some info about arachidonic acid on my website on a page called "The Peanut Connection". Unfortunately, I don't believe it mentions the article about the link between arachidonic acid and depression.

Sorry for the rambling -- I am trying to suggest that dietary changes might help alleviate his depression. There may be a physiological basis to it. If so, working on his state of health will yield more progress than couple's counseling, heart-felt discussions and so on. I have two special needs kids and giving them the right vitamins and so forth is how we deal with things like a tendency to OCD in one child. I homeschooled them, had them in special ed, etc. I didn't find real solutions until we began dealing with the health issues. Not to say homeschooling and all that did nothing, just saying it didn't "fix" most of the problems. But dietary and lifestyle changes are fixing their problems.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
My internet service is really slow and wonky today, so I am not in a position to do a search. But in one or two other threads, I posted a link to an article about research that turned up a connection between arachidonic acid and depression. People with CF tend to be high in arachidonic acid -- and this may be made worse by the standard diet advice offered at most clinics. Peanuts are high in arachidonic acid and seem to be a staple food in the CF community. My oldest son and I both have a relatively mild form of CF. We both gave up peanuts, peanut oil, and other peanut products about 3 1/2 years ago. (Not that I have managed to avoid it 100%, but I have done whatever I could to avoid it.) We are a lot healthier now and we can now tolerate peanut products in small quantities. For example, he has begun eating Reese's peanut butter cups again.

Anyway, you could do a search in the forums or wait a few days and when my internet service is less flaky I can try to find it again. There is also some info about arachidonic acid on my website on a page called "The Peanut Connection". Unfortunately, I don't believe it mentions the article about the link between arachidonic acid and depression.

Sorry for the rambling -- I am trying to suggest that dietary changes might help alleviate his depression. There may be a physiological basis to it. If so, working on his state of health will yield more progress than couple's counseling, heart-felt discussions and so on. I have two special needs kids and giving them the right vitamins and so forth is how we deal with things like a tendency to OCD in one child. I homeschooled them, had them in special ed, etc. I didn't find real solutions until we began dealing with the health issues. Not to say homeschooling and all that did nothing, just saying it didn't "fix" most of the problems. But dietary and lifestyle changes are fixing their problems.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
My internet service is really slow and wonky today, so I am not in a position to do a search. But in one or two other threads, I posted a link to an article about research that turned up a connection between arachidonic acid and depression. People with CF tend to be high in arachidonic acid -- and this may be made worse by the standard diet advice offered at most clinics. Peanuts are high in arachidonic acid and seem to be a staple food in the CF community. My oldest son and I both have a relatively mild form of CF. We both gave up peanuts, peanut oil, and other peanut products about 3 1/2 years ago. (Not that I have managed to avoid it 100%, but I have done whatever I could to avoid it.) We are a lot healthier now and we can now tolerate peanut products in small quantities. For example, he has begun eating Reese's peanut butter cups again.

Anyway, you could do a search in the forums or wait a few days and when my internet service is less flaky I can try to find it again. There is also some info about arachidonic acid on my website on a page called "The Peanut Connection". Unfortunately, I don't believe it mentions the article about the link between arachidonic acid and depression.

Sorry for the rambling -- I am trying to suggest that dietary changes might help alleviate his depression. There may be a physiological basis to it. If so, working on his state of health will yield more progress than couple's counseling, heart-felt discussions and so on. I have two special needs kids and giving them the right vitamins and so forth is how we deal with things like a tendency to OCD in one child. I homeschooled them, had them in special ed, etc. I didn't find real solutions until we began dealing with the health issues. Not to say homeschooling and all that did nothing, just saying it didn't "fix" most of the problems. But dietary and lifestyle changes are fixing their problems.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

MicheleGazelle

New member
My internet service is really slow and wonky today, so I am not in a position to do a search. But in one or two other threads, I posted a link to an article about research that turned up a connection between arachidonic acid and depression. People with CF tend to be high in arachidonic acid -- and this may be made worse by the standard diet advice offered at most clinics. Peanuts are high in arachidonic acid and seem to be a staple food in the CF community. My oldest son and I both have a relatively mild form of CF. We both gave up peanuts, peanut oil, and other peanut products about 3 1/2 years ago. (Not that I have managed to avoid it 100%, but I have done whatever I could to avoid it.) We are a lot healthier now and we can now tolerate peanut products in small quantities. For example, he has begun eating Reese's peanut butter cups again.
<br />
<br />Anyway, you could do a search in the forums or wait a few days and when my internet service is less flaky I can try to find it again. There is also some info about arachidonic acid on my website on a page called "The Peanut Connection". Unfortunately, I don't believe it mentions the article about the link between arachidonic acid and depression.
<br />
<br />Sorry for the rambling -- I am trying to suggest that dietary changes might help alleviate his depression. There may be a physiological basis to it. If so, working on his state of health will yield more progress than couple's counseling, heart-felt discussions and so on. I have two special needs kids and giving them the right vitamins and so forth is how we deal with things like a tendency to OCD in one child. I homeschooled them, had them in special ed, etc. I didn't find real solutions until we began dealing with the health issues. Not to say homeschooling and all that did nothing, just saying it didn't "fix" most of the problems. But dietary and lifestyle changes are fixing their problems.
<br />
<br />Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

MissKitty

New member
I have suffered with depression for about 7 years now. I was on medication for it but I decided I didnt want to be, basically a walking zombie, and also because of the side affects. The best way I dealt with it, and having CF, is that there are people out there who have it worse. I know what you mean when you said he may feel that nothing can help. (general feeling of depression)
My mom made me be positive, I know that sounds a little crazy, but she said when you wake up in the morning tell yourself what a wonderful day you're going to have. I was like no way, you're nuts! But I found myself feeling better just within a week of doing it. I was sleeping better and not thinking as negatively as I had been. It had also helped because she would say positive things to me such as you look great today. Little things like that have a big impact on how someone feels. I know you said you had to act happy, but I think that he may sense that its just an act. I also found that going to the gym and running, lifting weights, or swimming helped relieve some stress. I guess it's hard to give advice to someone I don't know but I wanted to respond only because I have been in a similar situation. It's all in the head, if youre negative then negative things will happen and if youre positive then positive things will happen.
I hope everything gets better for the both of you and maybe my advice helps, even if its just a little. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

MissKitty

New member
I have suffered with depression for about 7 years now. I was on medication for it but I decided I didnt want to be, basically a walking zombie, and also because of the side affects. The best way I dealt with it, and having CF, is that there are people out there who have it worse. I know what you mean when you said he may feel that nothing can help. (general feeling of depression)
My mom made me be positive, I know that sounds a little crazy, but she said when you wake up in the morning tell yourself what a wonderful day you're going to have. I was like no way, you're nuts! But I found myself feeling better just within a week of doing it. I was sleeping better and not thinking as negatively as I had been. It had also helped because she would say positive things to me such as you look great today. Little things like that have a big impact on how someone feels. I know you said you had to act happy, but I think that he may sense that its just an act. I also found that going to the gym and running, lifting weights, or swimming helped relieve some stress. I guess it's hard to give advice to someone I don't know but I wanted to respond only because I have been in a similar situation. It's all in the head, if youre negative then negative things will happen and if youre positive then positive things will happen.
I hope everything gets better for the both of you and maybe my advice helps, even if its just a little. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

MissKitty

New member
I have suffered with depression for about 7 years now. I was on medication for it but I decided I didnt want to be, basically a walking zombie, and also because of the side affects. The best way I dealt with it, and having CF, is that there are people out there who have it worse. I know what you mean when you said he may feel that nothing can help. (general feeling of depression)
My mom made me be positive, I know that sounds a little crazy, but she said when you wake up in the morning tell yourself what a wonderful day you're going to have. I was like no way, you're nuts! But I found myself feeling better just within a week of doing it. I was sleeping better and not thinking as negatively as I had been. It had also helped because she would say positive things to me such as you look great today. Little things like that have a big impact on how someone feels. I know you said you had to act happy, but I think that he may sense that its just an act. I also found that going to the gym and running, lifting weights, or swimming helped relieve some stress. I guess it's hard to give advice to someone I don't know but I wanted to respond only because I have been in a similar situation. It's all in the head, if youre negative then negative things will happen and if youre positive then positive things will happen.
I hope everything gets better for the both of you and maybe my advice helps, even if its just a little. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

MissKitty

New member
I have suffered with depression for about 7 years now. I was on medication for it but I decided I didnt want to be, basically a walking zombie, and also because of the side affects. The best way I dealt with it, and having CF, is that there are people out there who have it worse. I know what you mean when you said he may feel that nothing can help. (general feeling of depression)
My mom made me be positive, I know that sounds a little crazy, but she said when you wake up in the morning tell yourself what a wonderful day you're going to have. I was like no way, you're nuts! But I found myself feeling better just within a week of doing it. I was sleeping better and not thinking as negatively as I had been. It had also helped because she would say positive things to me such as you look great today. Little things like that have a big impact on how someone feels. I know you said you had to act happy, but I think that he may sense that its just an act. I also found that going to the gym and running, lifting weights, or swimming helped relieve some stress. I guess it's hard to give advice to someone I don't know but I wanted to respond only because I have been in a similar situation. It's all in the head, if youre negative then negative things will happen and if youre positive then positive things will happen.
I hope everything gets better for the both of you and maybe my advice helps, even if its just a little. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

MissKitty

New member
I have suffered with depression for about 7 years now. I was on medication for it but I decided I didnt want to be, basically a walking zombie, and also because of the side affects. The best way I dealt with it, and having CF, is that there are people out there who have it worse. I know what you mean when you said he may feel that nothing can help. (general feeling of depression)
<br />My mom made me be positive, I know that sounds a little crazy, but she said when you wake up in the morning tell yourself what a wonderful day you're going to have. I was like no way, you're nuts! But I found myself feeling better just within a week of doing it. I was sleeping better and not thinking as negatively as I had been. It had also helped because she would say positive things to me such as you look great today. Little things like that have a big impact on how someone feels. I know you said you had to act happy, but I think that he may sense that its just an act. I also found that going to the gym and running, lifting weights, or swimming helped relieve some stress. I guess it's hard to give advice to someone I don't know but I wanted to respond only because I have been in a similar situation. It's all in the head, if youre negative then negative things will happen and if youre positive then positive things will happen.
<br />I hope everything gets better for the both of you and maybe my advice helps, even if its just a little. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

maelstrom

New member
hi again - Michelle and MissKitty, thank you both for the advice. Recently I have been reading up a lot on nutrition and its effects on many different health issues. Discussing some of these with my husband has gotten him to start eating healthier too - he's eating lots more fruit/veggies and trying to cut back on sweets. But, peanut butter has always been a favorite of his... I buy the natural stuff for him, but I hadn't heard anything about peanuts being related to depression so I'll look into it more. Some quick searching seemed to show that arachidonic acid is definitely tied to depression, and is common in both vegetable oils and animal products (especially red meat). We've already switched to using coconut oil when cooking so that's good at least... I find this nutrition stuff fascinating, and I'll keep looking into this.

As far as the positive thoughts - yes that is such a good point. In the past when I was under a ton of stress and feeling overwhelmed/depressed, I actually started making myself keep a journal where I would write positive things about my life. It was hard to do but it helped so much - it's like training your brain to get out of the negative cycle and to start thinking more positively. I'll talk to my husband about some of these ideas. I'm feeling more hopeful now - he is seeming to have bounced back a bit, and told me that he ran 4 miles this morning. Exercise also can have a huge impact on depression and he's been really good about getting 4 days of good workouts in every week, so I hope that will help as well.

Thanks again to everyone for reminding me of different options, and that there are ways to make this better.
 

maelstrom

New member
hi again - Michelle and MissKitty, thank you both for the advice. Recently I have been reading up a lot on nutrition and its effects on many different health issues. Discussing some of these with my husband has gotten him to start eating healthier too - he's eating lots more fruit/veggies and trying to cut back on sweets. But, peanut butter has always been a favorite of his... I buy the natural stuff for him, but I hadn't heard anything about peanuts being related to depression so I'll look into it more. Some quick searching seemed to show that arachidonic acid is definitely tied to depression, and is common in both vegetable oils and animal products (especially red meat). We've already switched to using coconut oil when cooking so that's good at least... I find this nutrition stuff fascinating, and I'll keep looking into this.

As far as the positive thoughts - yes that is such a good point. In the past when I was under a ton of stress and feeling overwhelmed/depressed, I actually started making myself keep a journal where I would write positive things about my life. It was hard to do but it helped so much - it's like training your brain to get out of the negative cycle and to start thinking more positively. I'll talk to my husband about some of these ideas. I'm feeling more hopeful now - he is seeming to have bounced back a bit, and told me that he ran 4 miles this morning. Exercise also can have a huge impact on depression and he's been really good about getting 4 days of good workouts in every week, so I hope that will help as well.

Thanks again to everyone for reminding me of different options, and that there are ways to make this better.
 

maelstrom

New member
hi again - Michelle and MissKitty, thank you both for the advice. Recently I have been reading up a lot on nutrition and its effects on many different health issues. Discussing some of these with my husband has gotten him to start eating healthier too - he's eating lots more fruit/veggies and trying to cut back on sweets. But, peanut butter has always been a favorite of his... I buy the natural stuff for him, but I hadn't heard anything about peanuts being related to depression so I'll look into it more. Some quick searching seemed to show that arachidonic acid is definitely tied to depression, and is common in both vegetable oils and animal products (especially red meat). We've already switched to using coconut oil when cooking so that's good at least... I find this nutrition stuff fascinating, and I'll keep looking into this.

As far as the positive thoughts - yes that is such a good point. In the past when I was under a ton of stress and feeling overwhelmed/depressed, I actually started making myself keep a journal where I would write positive things about my life. It was hard to do but it helped so much - it's like training your brain to get out of the negative cycle and to start thinking more positively. I'll talk to my husband about some of these ideas. I'm feeling more hopeful now - he is seeming to have bounced back a bit, and told me that he ran 4 miles this morning. Exercise also can have a huge impact on depression and he's been really good about getting 4 days of good workouts in every week, so I hope that will help as well.

Thanks again to everyone for reminding me of different options, and that there are ways to make this better.
 

maelstrom

New member
hi again - Michelle and MissKitty, thank you both for the advice. Recently I have been reading up a lot on nutrition and its effects on many different health issues. Discussing some of these with my husband has gotten him to start eating healthier too - he's eating lots more fruit/veggies and trying to cut back on sweets. But, peanut butter has always been a favorite of his... I buy the natural stuff for him, but I hadn't heard anything about peanuts being related to depression so I'll look into it more. Some quick searching seemed to show that arachidonic acid is definitely tied to depression, and is common in both vegetable oils and animal products (especially red meat). We've already switched to using coconut oil when cooking so that's good at least... I find this nutrition stuff fascinating, and I'll keep looking into this.

As far as the positive thoughts - yes that is such a good point. In the past when I was under a ton of stress and feeling overwhelmed/depressed, I actually started making myself keep a journal where I would write positive things about my life. It was hard to do but it helped so much - it's like training your brain to get out of the negative cycle and to start thinking more positively. I'll talk to my husband about some of these ideas. I'm feeling more hopeful now - he is seeming to have bounced back a bit, and told me that he ran 4 miles this morning. Exercise also can have a huge impact on depression and he's been really good about getting 4 days of good workouts in every week, so I hope that will help as well.

Thanks again to everyone for reminding me of different options, and that there are ways to make this better.
 

maelstrom

New member
hi again - Michelle and MissKitty, thank you both for the advice. Recently I have been reading up a lot on nutrition and its effects on many different health issues. Discussing some of these with my husband has gotten him to start eating healthier too - he's eating lots more fruit/veggies and trying to cut back on sweets. But, peanut butter has always been a favorite of his... I buy the natural stuff for him, but I hadn't heard anything about peanuts being related to depression so I'll look into it more. Some quick searching seemed to show that arachidonic acid is definitely tied to depression, and is common in both vegetable oils and animal products (especially red meat). We've already switched to using coconut oil when cooking so that's good at least... I find this nutrition stuff fascinating, and I'll keep looking into this.
<br />
<br />As far as the positive thoughts - yes that is such a good point. In the past when I was under a ton of stress and feeling overwhelmed/depressed, I actually started making myself keep a journal where I would write positive things about my life. It was hard to do but it helped so much - it's like training your brain to get out of the negative cycle and to start thinking more positively. I'll talk to my husband about some of these ideas. I'm feeling more hopeful now - he is seeming to have bounced back a bit, and told me that he ran 4 miles this morning. Exercise also can have a huge impact on depression and he's been really good about getting 4 days of good workouts in every week, so I hope that will help as well.
<br />
<br />Thanks again to everyone for reminding me of different options, and that there are ways to make this better.
 
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