Could really use some info from the mommies

Asexyblond23 · Feb 19, 2009

Ok nick and I have been driving this baby road for almost 3 years. It has had so many twist and truns of what we thought we would do that we both are emotional exhusted. I refered to my brain as scramled eggs yesterday over all this. We have gone from planning on me carring till the docs were saying yes your double high risk, to surrogate the tradional way meaning it not biologically be my child, to me again maybe to adoption. We have been tryng to adopt for 1 1/2 years now and no luck, and granted we are trying to adopt an older child lik 7-13.

So a month ago my sister in law offered to be a surrogate and that brought another plan up also my boss has offered. Well yesterday at my appt I was talking to my doc about the latest baby news and we ended up on the topic of me carring the child. She said she does not adovcate it. But wth me and how great I am about my health and meds and if we chose that we she said I have bener said this before but I would tell you that we would support you and be able to get you thru it. I was sitting there like I got hit by a truck.

So now of course its up t omy blood doc but it looks like they may say yea go for it and lets work you thru it.

Heres my thing... this visit I was down to 85% FEV1 and small airways were down about 12%. We are starting iv's today to kick this thing I have been carring for a month. I hope to get back to 89% which is about normal for me. So now it becomes the choice of which way to go?

Surrogate....Expensive and HUGE emotional toll always worring and not having the child in me and it being hard OR

Me.... HUGE physical toll and what it could do to me.

I know this is a personal decision but I wanted to ask all of you who are pregnant or have been how has your prenacy been? I want to go into looking at everything with all the information I can have. We know my numbers will drop, will they come back up? Maybe. How far might they drop? Did you have a hard time due to the cf and being tired more then someon with a normal pregnancy? Did you make it to full term.

Nick and I really appricate all your help. I am so lucky to have this place that i can come spill my guts at 7:30 am while beating away on the vest <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Asexyblond23 · Feb 19, 2009

Ok nick and I have been driving this baby road for almost 3 years. It has had so many twist and truns of what we thought we would do that we both are emotional exhusted. I refered to my brain as scramled eggs yesterday over all this. We have gone from planning on me carring till the docs were saying yes your double high risk, to surrogate the tradional way meaning it not biologically be my child, to me again maybe to adoption. We have been tryng to adopt for 1 1/2 years now and no luck, and granted we are trying to adopt an older child lik 7-13.

So a month ago my sister in law offered to be a surrogate and that brought another plan up also my boss has offered. Well yesterday at my appt I was talking to my doc about the latest baby news and we ended up on the topic of me carring the child. She said she does not adovcate it. But wth me and how great I am about my health and meds and if we chose that we she said I have bener said this before but I would tell you that we would support you and be able to get you thru it. I was sitting there like I got hit by a truck.

So now of course its up t omy blood doc but it looks like they may say yea go for it and lets work you thru it.

Heres my thing... this visit I was down to 85% FEV1 and small airways were down about 12%. We are starting iv's today to kick this thing I have been carring for a month. I hope to get back to 89% which is about normal for me. So now it becomes the choice of which way to go?

Surrogate....Expensive and HUGE emotional toll always worring and not having the child in me and it being hard OR

Me.... HUGE physical toll and what it could do to me.

I know this is a personal decision but I wanted to ask all of you who are pregnant or have been how has your prenacy been? I want to go into looking at everything with all the information I can have. We know my numbers will drop, will they come back up? Maybe. How far might they drop? Did you have a hard time due to the cf and being tired more then someon with a normal pregnancy? Did you make it to full term.

Nick and I really appricate all your help. I am so lucky to have this place that i can come spill my guts at 7:30 am while beating away on the vest <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Asexyblond23 · Feb 19, 2009

Ok nick and I have been driving this baby road for almost 3 years. It has had so many twist and truns of what we thought we would do that we both are emotional exhusted. I refered to my brain as scramled eggs yesterday over all this. We have gone from planning on me carring till the docs were saying yes your double high risk, to surrogate the tradional way meaning it not biologically be my child, to me again maybe to adoption. We have been tryng to adopt for 1 1/2 years now and no luck, and granted we are trying to adopt an older child lik 7-13.

So a month ago my sister in law offered to be a surrogate and that brought another plan up also my boss has offered. Well yesterday at my appt I was talking to my doc about the latest baby news and we ended up on the topic of me carring the child. She said she does not adovcate it. But wth me and how great I am about my health and meds and if we chose that we she said I have bener said this before but I would tell you that we would support you and be able to get you thru it. I was sitting there like I got hit by a truck.

So now of course its up t omy blood doc but it looks like they may say yea go for it and lets work you thru it.

Heres my thing... this visit I was down to 85% FEV1 and small airways were down about 12%. We are starting iv's today to kick this thing I have been carring for a month. I hope to get back to 89% which is about normal for me. So now it becomes the choice of which way to go?

Surrogate....Expensive and HUGE emotional toll always worring and not having the child in me and it being hard OR

Me.... HUGE physical toll and what it could do to me.

I know this is a personal decision but I wanted to ask all of you who are pregnant or have been how has your prenacy been? I want to go into looking at everything with all the information I can have. We know my numbers will drop, will they come back up? Maybe. How far might they drop? Did you have a hard time due to the cf and being tired more then someon with a normal pregnancy? Did you make it to full term.

Nick and I really appricate all your help. I am so lucky to have this place that i can come spill my guts at 7:30 am while beating away on the vest <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Asexyblond23 · Feb 19, 2009

Ok nick and I have been driving this baby road for almost 3 years. It has had so many twist and truns of what we thought we would do that we both are emotional exhusted. I refered to my brain as scramled eggs yesterday over all this. We have gone from planning on me carring till the docs were saying yes your double high risk, to surrogate the tradional way meaning it not biologically be my child, to me again maybe to adoption. We have been tryng to adopt for 1 1/2 years now and no luck, and granted we are trying to adopt an older child lik 7-13.

So a month ago my sister in law offered to be a surrogate and that brought another plan up also my boss has offered. Well yesterday at my appt I was talking to my doc about the latest baby news and we ended up on the topic of me carring the child. She said she does not adovcate it. But wth me and how great I am about my health and meds and if we chose that we she said I have bener said this before but I would tell you that we would support you and be able to get you thru it. I was sitting there like I got hit by a truck.

So now of course its up t omy blood doc but it looks like they may say yea go for it and lets work you thru it.

Heres my thing... this visit I was down to 85% FEV1 and small airways were down about 12%. We are starting iv's today to kick this thing I have been carring for a month. I hope to get back to 89% which is about normal for me. So now it becomes the choice of which way to go?

Surrogate....Expensive and HUGE emotional toll always worring and not having the child in me and it being hard OR

Me.... HUGE physical toll and what it could do to me.

I know this is a personal decision but I wanted to ask all of you who are pregnant or have been how has your prenacy been? I want to go into looking at everything with all the information I can have. We know my numbers will drop, will they come back up? Maybe. How far might they drop? Did you have a hard time due to the cf and being tired more then someon with a normal pregnancy? Did you make it to full term.

Nick and I really appricate all your help. I am so lucky to have this place that i can come spill my guts at 7:30 am while beating away on the vest <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Asexyblond23 · Feb 19, 2009

Ok nick and I have been driving this baby road for almost 3 years. It has had so many twist and truns of what we thought we would do that we both are emotional exhusted. I refered to my brain as scramled eggs yesterday over all this. We have gone from planning on me carring till the docs were saying yes your double high risk, to surrogate the tradional way meaning it not biologically be my child, to me again maybe to adoption. We have been tryng to adopt for 1 1/2 years now and no luck, and granted we are trying to adopt an older child lik 7-13.
 
 So a month ago my sister in law offered to be a surrogate and that brought another plan up also my boss has offered. Well yesterday at my appt I was talking to my doc about the latest baby news and we ended up on the topic of me carring the child. She said she does not adovcate it. But wth me and how great I am about my health and meds and if we chose that we she said I have bener said this before but I would tell you that we would support you and be able to get you thru it. I was sitting there like I got hit by a truck.
 
 So now of course its up t omy blood doc but it looks like they may say yea go for it and lets work you thru it.
 
 Heres my thing... this visit I was down to 85% FEV1 and small airways were down about 12%. We are starting iv's today to kick this thing I have been carring for a month. I hope to get back to 89% which is about normal for me. So now it becomes the choice of which way to go?
 
 Surrogate....Expensive and HUGE emotional toll always worring and not having the child in me and it being hard OR
 
 Me.... HUGE physical toll and what it could do to me.
 
 I know this is a personal decision but I wanted to ask all of you who are pregnant or have been how has your prenacy been? I want to go into looking at everything with all the information I can have. We know my numbers will drop, will they come back up? Maybe. How far might they drop? Did you have a hard time due to the cf and being tired more then someon with a normal pregnancy? Did you make it to full term.
 
 Nick and I really appricate all your help. I am so lucky to have this place that i can come spill my guts at 7:30 am while beating away on the vest <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

JazzysMom · Feb 19, 2009

I wish there was a cut & dry answer for you. My pregnancy was fabulous. It was unplanned too. I was not compliant with treatments before, during or after my pregnancy. I was lucky in that way for the most part that it didnt really bite me in the a$$ righ then & there.

I did develop gestational diabetes which we controller with insulin & my sugars returned to normal within 24 hours after delivery.

I worked full time up until my 8th month. I felt the best I had in years. My hemoptysis did kick in my 8th month which was NOT a surprise given my history of hemoptysis.

I was admitted for a tune up & it was suggested due to my history & what they learned from all their patients giving birth & hemoptysis that its recommended that I deliver a bit early by c section.

I chose to do that. I handled the recovery well. I did have HUGE steroid shots to assure the baby's lungs were developed, but otherwise things were good.

What I will say & I had no idea is that even with the best support & help......no matter what method you use to become a Mom.....

Its the care of the child that takes its toll. Yes pregnancy can be very difficult for some CF woman, but as a whole I believe the care of the child is the hardest. The pregnancy ends eventually.....the care never does.

I was 30 years old when I delivered & for all of my adult life & most of my teens I wasnt compliant with treatments. I did go in the hospital when things flared up & couldnt be handled at home, but for the most part I was "healthy".

THIS does make a huge difference. My lung function was around where you are now when I got pregnant!

Good Luck!

JazzysMom · Feb 19, 2009

I wish there was a cut & dry answer for you. My pregnancy was fabulous. It was unplanned too. I was not compliant with treatments before, during or after my pregnancy. I was lucky in that way for the most part that it didnt really bite me in the a$$ righ then & there.

I did develop gestational diabetes which we controller with insulin & my sugars returned to normal within 24 hours after delivery.

I worked full time up until my 8th month. I felt the best I had in years. My hemoptysis did kick in my 8th month which was NOT a surprise given my history of hemoptysis.

I was admitted for a tune up & it was suggested due to my history & what they learned from all their patients giving birth & hemoptysis that its recommended that I deliver a bit early by c section.

I chose to do that. I handled the recovery well. I did have HUGE steroid shots to assure the baby's lungs were developed, but otherwise things were good.

What I will say & I had no idea is that even with the best support & help......no matter what method you use to become a Mom.....

Its the care of the child that takes its toll. Yes pregnancy can be very difficult for some CF woman, but as a whole I believe the care of the child is the hardest. The pregnancy ends eventually.....the care never does.

I was 30 years old when I delivered & for all of my adult life & most of my teens I wasnt compliant with treatments. I did go in the hospital when things flared up & couldnt be handled at home, but for the most part I was "healthy".

THIS does make a huge difference. My lung function was around where you are now when I got pregnant!

Good Luck!

JazzysMom · Feb 19, 2009

I wish there was a cut & dry answer for you. My pregnancy was fabulous. It was unplanned too. I was not compliant with treatments before, during or after my pregnancy. I was lucky in that way for the most part that it didnt really bite me in the a$$ righ then & there.

I did develop gestational diabetes which we controller with insulin & my sugars returned to normal within 24 hours after delivery.

I worked full time up until my 8th month. I felt the best I had in years. My hemoptysis did kick in my 8th month which was NOT a surprise given my history of hemoptysis.

I was admitted for a tune up & it was suggested due to my history & what they learned from all their patients giving birth & hemoptysis that its recommended that I deliver a bit early by c section.

I chose to do that. I handled the recovery well. I did have HUGE steroid shots to assure the baby's lungs were developed, but otherwise things were good.

What I will say & I had no idea is that even with the best support & help......no matter what method you use to become a Mom.....

Its the care of the child that takes its toll. Yes pregnancy can be very difficult for some CF woman, but as a whole I believe the care of the child is the hardest. The pregnancy ends eventually.....the care never does.

I was 30 years old when I delivered & for all of my adult life & most of my teens I wasnt compliant with treatments. I did go in the hospital when things flared up & couldnt be handled at home, but for the most part I was "healthy".

THIS does make a huge difference. My lung function was around where you are now when I got pregnant!

Good Luck!

JazzysMom · Feb 19, 2009

I wish there was a cut & dry answer for you. My pregnancy was fabulous. It was unplanned too. I was not compliant with treatments before, during or after my pregnancy. I was lucky in that way for the most part that it didnt really bite me in the a$$ righ then & there.

I did develop gestational diabetes which we controller with insulin & my sugars returned to normal within 24 hours after delivery.

I worked full time up until my 8th month. I felt the best I had in years. My hemoptysis did kick in my 8th month which was NOT a surprise given my history of hemoptysis.

I was admitted for a tune up & it was suggested due to my history & what they learned from all their patients giving birth & hemoptysis that its recommended that I deliver a bit early by c section.

I chose to do that. I handled the recovery well. I did have HUGE steroid shots to assure the baby's lungs were developed, but otherwise things were good.

What I will say & I had no idea is that even with the best support & help......no matter what method you use to become a Mom.....

Its the care of the child that takes its toll. Yes pregnancy can be very difficult for some CF woman, but as a whole I believe the care of the child is the hardest. The pregnancy ends eventually.....the care never does.

I was 30 years old when I delivered & for all of my adult life & most of my teens I wasnt compliant with treatments. I did go in the hospital when things flared up & couldnt be handled at home, but for the most part I was "healthy".

THIS does make a huge difference. My lung function was around where you are now when I got pregnant!

Good Luck!

JazzysMom · Feb 19, 2009

I wish there was a cut & dry answer for you. My pregnancy was fabulous. It was unplanned too. I was not compliant with treatments before, during or after my pregnancy. I was lucky in that way for the most part that it didnt really bite me in the a$$ righ then & there.
 
 I did develop gestational diabetes which we controller with insulin & my sugars returned to normal within 24 hours after delivery.
 
 I worked full time up until my 8th month. I felt the best I had in years. My hemoptysis did kick in my 8th month which was NOT a surprise given my history of hemoptysis.
 
 I was admitted for a tune up & it was suggested due to my history & what they learned from all their patients giving birth & hemoptysis that its recommended that I deliver a bit early by c section.
 
 I chose to do that. I handled the recovery well. I did have HUGE steroid shots to assure the baby's lungs were developed, but otherwise things were good.
 
 What I will say & I had no idea is that even with the best support & help......no matter what method you use to become a Mom.....
 
 Its the care of the child that takes its toll. Yes pregnancy can be very difficult for some CF woman, but as a whole I believe the care of the child is the hardest. The pregnancy ends eventually.....the care never does.
 
 I was 30 years old when I delivered & for all of my adult life & most of my teens I wasnt compliant with treatments. I did go in the hospital when things flared up & couldnt be handled at home, but for the most part I was "healthy".
 
 THIS does make a huge difference. My lung function was around where you are now when I got pregnant!
 
 Good Luck!

fondreflections · Feb 19, 2009

Alisha,

You and I spoke months ago about foster/fost-adopt/adoption programs...

I just wanted to say that I do think that if you really want to have a child than you need to look into either surrogacy or natural carrying.

I was only in the 'loop' for a couple months, but what I learned was far enough for me. If you go into it thinking that you ONLY want to help a child in need - that's good. Also, thinking that IF the child should come up for adoption, you are there ready and willing. HOWEVER, you don't want to go into 'it' thinking, this is how I will have a child...I learned that the hard way. I am also watching Moxie go through the same thing...She waited 8 months for a fost/adopt infant. She had him for 6 months. She has already been waiting again for 5 months...The foster care system instills false hopes, as far as I'm concerned. I felt 'used'! The mother of the boys I had should have been in jail, but instead the system 'caters' to her and her so-called needs. It's pathetic. I hope I never run into her...

I don't have any other advice for you but get out of the whole foster/adopt system. Adoption is okay IF and ONLY IF you have $20,000 - $30,000 to spend. Otherwise, you wait years and years (like you are) broken-hearted. It's pathetic. Don't be afraid to look into other avenues to become a parent.

(((HUGS))) <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Edited to Add: I don't have enough tolerance for stupidity, 'pimping' to pay bills, drug usage, and physical abuse, I guess...Sadly, the children, ultimately, pay for the delays of the system and for the poor 'choices' of their parents. Meanwhile, people who work hard and strive struggle to have even one child...It's quite ironic, isn't it?

fondreflections · Feb 19, 2009

Alisha,

You and I spoke months ago about foster/fost-adopt/adoption programs...

I just wanted to say that I do think that if you really want to have a child than you need to look into either surrogacy or natural carrying.

I was only in the 'loop' for a couple months, but what I learned was far enough for me. If you go into it thinking that you ONLY want to help a child in need - that's good. Also, thinking that IF the child should come up for adoption, you are there ready and willing. HOWEVER, you don't want to go into 'it' thinking, this is how I will have a child...I learned that the hard way. I am also watching Moxie go through the same thing...She waited 8 months for a fost/adopt infant. She had him for 6 months. She has already been waiting again for 5 months...The foster care system instills false hopes, as far as I'm concerned. I felt 'used'! The mother of the boys I had should have been in jail, but instead the system 'caters' to her and her so-called needs. It's pathetic. I hope I never run into her...

I don't have any other advice for you but get out of the whole foster/adopt system. Adoption is okay IF and ONLY IF you have $20,000 - $30,000 to spend. Otherwise, you wait years and years (like you are) broken-hearted. It's pathetic. Don't be afraid to look into other avenues to become a parent.

(((HUGS))) <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Edited to Add: I don't have enough tolerance for stupidity, 'pimping' to pay bills, drug usage, and physical abuse, I guess...Sadly, the children, ultimately, pay for the delays of the system and for the poor 'choices' of their parents. Meanwhile, people who work hard and strive struggle to have even one child...It's quite ironic, isn't it?

fondreflections · Feb 19, 2009

Alisha,

You and I spoke months ago about foster/fost-adopt/adoption programs...

I just wanted to say that I do think that if you really want to have a child than you need to look into either surrogacy or natural carrying.

I was only in the 'loop' for a couple months, but what I learned was far enough for me. If you go into it thinking that you ONLY want to help a child in need - that's good. Also, thinking that IF the child should come up for adoption, you are there ready and willing. HOWEVER, you don't want to go into 'it' thinking, this is how I will have a child...I learned that the hard way. I am also watching Moxie go through the same thing...She waited 8 months for a fost/adopt infant. She had him for 6 months. She has already been waiting again for 5 months...The foster care system instills false hopes, as far as I'm concerned. I felt 'used'! The mother of the boys I had should have been in jail, but instead the system 'caters' to her and her so-called needs. It's pathetic. I hope I never run into her...

I don't have any other advice for you but get out of the whole foster/adopt system. Adoption is okay IF and ONLY IF you have $20,000 - $30,000 to spend. Otherwise, you wait years and years (like you are) broken-hearted. It's pathetic. Don't be afraid to look into other avenues to become a parent.

(((HUGS))) <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Edited to Add: I don't have enough tolerance for stupidity, 'pimping' to pay bills, drug usage, and physical abuse, I guess...Sadly, the children, ultimately, pay for the delays of the system and for the poor 'choices' of their parents. Meanwhile, people who work hard and strive struggle to have even one child...It's quite ironic, isn't it?

fondreflections · Feb 19, 2009

Alisha,

You and I spoke months ago about foster/fost-adopt/adoption programs...

I just wanted to say that I do think that if you really want to have a child than you need to look into either surrogacy or natural carrying.

I was only in the 'loop' for a couple months, but what I learned was far enough for me. If you go into it thinking that you ONLY want to help a child in need - that's good. Also, thinking that IF the child should come up for adoption, you are there ready and willing. HOWEVER, you don't want to go into 'it' thinking, this is how I will have a child...I learned that the hard way. I am also watching Moxie go through the same thing...She waited 8 months for a fost/adopt infant. She had him for 6 months. She has already been waiting again for 5 months...The foster care system instills false hopes, as far as I'm concerned. I felt 'used'! The mother of the boys I had should have been in jail, but instead the system 'caters' to her and her so-called needs. It's pathetic. I hope I never run into her...

I don't have any other advice for you but get out of the whole foster/adopt system. Adoption is okay IF and ONLY IF you have $20,000 - $30,000 to spend. Otherwise, you wait years and years (like you are) broken-hearted. It's pathetic. Don't be afraid to look into other avenues to become a parent.

(((HUGS))) <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Edited to Add: I don't have enough tolerance for stupidity, 'pimping' to pay bills, drug usage, and physical abuse, I guess...Sadly, the children, ultimately, pay for the delays of the system and for the poor 'choices' of their parents. Meanwhile, people who work hard and strive struggle to have even one child...It's quite ironic, isn't it?

fondreflections · Feb 19, 2009

Alisha,
 
 You and I spoke months ago about foster/fost-adopt/adoption programs...
 
 I just wanted to say that I do think that if you really want to have a child than you need to look into either surrogacy or natural carrying.
 
 I was only in the 'loop' for a couple months, but what I learned was far enough for me. If you go into it thinking that you ONLY want to help a child in need - that's good. Also, thinking that IF the child should come up for adoption, you are there ready and willing. HOWEVER, you don't want to go into 'it' thinking, this is how I will have a child...I learned that the hard way. I am also watching Moxie go through the same thing...She waited 8 months for a fost/adopt infant. She had him for 6 months. She has already been waiting again for 5 months...The foster care system instills false hopes, as far as I'm concerned. I felt 'used'! The mother of the boys I had should have been in jail, but instead the system 'caters' to her and her so-called needs. It's pathetic. I hope I never run into her...
 
 I don't have any other advice for you but get out of the whole foster/adopt system. Adoption is okay IF and ONLY IF you have $20,000 - $30,000 to spend. Otherwise, you wait years and years (like you are) broken-hearted. It's pathetic. Don't be afraid to look into other avenues to become a parent.
 
 (((HUGS))) <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
 Edited to Add: I don't have enough tolerance for stupidity, 'pimping' to pay bills, drug usage, and physical abuse, I guess...Sadly, the children, ultimately, pay for the delays of the system and for the poor 'choices' of their parents. Meanwhile, people who work hard and strive struggle to have even one child...It's quite ironic, isn't it?

hopesiris · Feb 19, 2009