dating...

[ej0820]

Just a quick question...

to those of you who are in relationships...when you were first dating your partner, how did your cf first come up and what was their reaction?



-erin
19/f/cf

 

[Dustin82]

I am a 22 male with Cf. I think my gf wondered why I toke med. when I eat or why I have to go to the hospital for a week or two. But just tell them what CF is it is kinda scary at first, but if they like u it should not matter. My gf understood and she does not care I mean there is nothing we can do about it we were the one that were picked to have it. I hold I helped u out a little just dont be scared to tell him if he wants to be be with u he will understand and stand by u no mater what
Dustin82

 

[anonymous]

I was diagnost late at 30. We had been together for 9 years befor diagnoses. So he went through the entire process with me. He was very shocked at first but sincere, asked alot of questions. It was extremely hard for me to get through the fact that I may get very sick and possibly die but he really kept me grounded, letting me know he'd be there. I am now 35 and were still together. Eva

 

[ClashPunk82]

Well when I met my bf we were friends 1st. I was always coughin around him and finally he said you cough a lot, why? I said it's a long story I'll tell ya sometime. Then he says you don't have CF do you? I was shocked I was like uhhh well ya I do but how in the world do you know what that is? he said his friend Bill had it so he knew all about it. We have been together for almost 4 years now and none of it bothers him whatsoever!! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Nicole 22 CF

 

[anonymous]

well with my current partner, everyone told him that i had cf when he told others that he liked me. 'she has cf you know?'. in fact thats all they could think about. god forbid someone with a disability dates!

 

[anonymous]

above = kybert

 

[anonymous]

Kybert

Do you really look at your CF as a disability?


When I was diagnosed at 22 my girlfriend and I had only been dating a couple of months, but she went to doctor's appointments with me and did some reading. We just got married in August and I will be 30 in January.

Dave 29 w/cf

 

[ClashPunk82]

How does getting married work? I am on disability and will I sty on that or will they boot me off if I get married? And I don't think my bf can have me on his insurance it would cost way too much, at least i think. I don't know how that all works so any info about it wold help! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Nicole 22 CF

 

[anonymous]

Nicole,
If you get SSI & SSDI, you would probably get bumped of the SSI part if your new husband has a good job, but I think you should still get disability because you getting married certainly doesn't make you any less disabled. I am no expert, but this is what I think.
As far as his insurance goes, if it's a company with many employees & they offer insurance coverage for spouse & family, then it won't cost any more for that family coverage just because you have CF. I'm not sure if Medicare would be your main insurance coverage or your secondary ins coverage if you would get on his policy, but either way, that's more insurance coverage & I think could only be a win/win situation as far as insurance goes.
The SSI you would possibly lose is another story, though. We can't win 'em all! Happy Thanksgiving.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

My BF has CF and he didn't tell me until 3 months after we were together he is very secretive about his CF I never noticed him taking his tablets at dinner time I did notice that he coughed a lot and I use to say you better go to the doctor as I think you might have a chest infection. When he first told me about CF I had no clue what it was I actually thought that it was short for Chronic Fatigue then he told me all about it and yes at first I was shocked but I fell in love with the person he is not because of his CF sure we have had our ups and downs but so does any realationship. I also looked up heaps of information about CF on the internet which has helped me out and I come on this site regularly because everyone is so informative.

 

[anonymous]

yes i do look at it as a disability. any disease/condition that severely affects certain aspects of life is a disability. thats not to say someone is useless though.

 

[jenhum]

i have told all of my boyfriends (all 4 of them lol) within about two weeks of us starting to date. usually when we are having the serious "so tell me about your past" discussion. i have never had a bad reaction, usually it seems like they like me even more. not to mention that boyfriends are great at motivating me to do all my treatments!!!

 

[anonymous]

ok i shall apologise in advance to erin for having her topic hijacked because people are 'playing' psychiatrist. now, everyone whos thinking 'oh shes saying disability oh she must have a sad outlook', get that right out of your head now because you are so very wrong. your assumptions are the complete opposite to reality, ok. take a step back, and dont read into things so much and you might actually be enlightened by what i say. [disability is NOT a dirty word] if you cant do that, then dont proceed to give me a full paragraph on what you think my life is like, because i will probably think you are nuts and that you need to relax.

*if anyone if offended by this then oh well tough luck. im offended by the fact that a few people are assuming i think cf is an evil curse and that my life is horrible [which it isnt].

 

[anonymous]

my girlfriend cried and then i felt bad and i still do

 

[anonymous]

I haven't read anything where someone was playing pschyciatrist, who are you reffering to<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">

Dave 29 w/cf

 

[jenhum]

just a comment on the "disability" reference. i've never referred to myself as disabled, but i agree that cf is a disability, therefore making me disabled. i looked up the word disabled online, and all of the medical dictionaries said something to the effect of "physically impaired" or "being somehow impaired physically" (pretty much the same thing <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">) . Although I do lead a full and happy life, I think only an extreeeeemely healthy cfer could claim to not be physically impaired. plus, aren't a lot of cfers ON disability? i guess we're considered disabled by the government! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

i don't think being disabled has to mean you aren't proud of yourself or happy to be who you are! it just means we are extra-special i guess <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">.

 

[anonymous]

I think anyone who is in a relationship with someone and they find out their partner has CF it's a little "devistating" (not devistation to the full extend but for a lack of a better word). Especailly for those who have never heard of it before, and have never med anyone with a terminal disease. It will be natural for them to worry. But they'll soon get used to it. I've never had a BF really react badly when I told them I had CF. A lot of them didn't really know what it was. But you'll find that for the most part people are a lot more supportive than you'd think.


Ashley 20 w/cf

 

[anonymous]

I agree Ashley because they knew us before as a normal person who coughed alot now your still the same person just a person with CF rather than the person who coughs alot. The last thing we want is to have someone dwell on the fact we may die from CF but rather have them dwell on living each day to the fullest as everyone healthy or not does just we have to live it and protect ourselves a little more than the average Joe. I believe most people are supportive and if their not, I didn't want them around me anyway. Hee Hee. Eva

 

[anonymous]

I told my partner tat I had CF and he told me he'd had hypospadia from Agent Orange that the American Govt used in Vietnam War - His father fought there (penis disformity at birth, fixed after lots of hormone replacements and plastic surgery) and couldn't have kids either - we are really happy, but then I am quite a healthy CF - no AB's foir 3 months now! Yay
Anyway, it's not so hard if you tell them straight up - slip it into conversation - Easier earlier - I reckon you can use their reaction as a test of character.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">

 

[ej0820]

test of character...great thought, I like that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">