Death in the family

flcowgrl23 · Nov 14, 2007

My boyfriend is 21, and his brother is 28. They were both diagnosed in '92 and his brother (the 28 yo) passed away from CF on sat am. My boyfriend won't do his treatments, because he's convinced he's healthier than his brother was at his age. I don't know how to try to help him see I want him to be here for his family. His mother can't take it if she loses him too, and we're having a baby in june. I wonder, will he get over this and see that he could live longer if he does something? He hasn't been able to breathe for the last 3 days and gets angry with me if I remind him that he promised me he would do his treatment at least once a day.

I'm very new to this! Help!

flcowgrl23 · Nov 14, 2007

My boyfriend is 21, and his brother is 28. They were both diagnosed in '92 and his brother (the 28 yo) passed away from CF on sat am. My boyfriend won't do his treatments, because he's convinced he's healthier than his brother was at his age. I don't know how to try to help him see I want him to be here for his family. His mother can't take it if she loses him too, and we're having a baby in june. I wonder, will he get over this and see that he could live longer if he does something? He hasn't been able to breathe for the last 3 days and gets angry with me if I remind him that he promised me he would do his treatment at least once a day.

I'm very new to this! Help!

flcowgrl23 · Nov 14, 2007

My boyfriend is 21, and his brother is 28. They were both diagnosed in '92 and his brother (the 28 yo) passed away from CF on sat am. My boyfriend won't do his treatments, because he's convinced he's healthier than his brother was at his age. I don't know how to try to help him see I want him to be here for his family. His mother can't take it if she loses him too, and we're having a baby in june. I wonder, will he get over this and see that he could live longer if he does something? He hasn't been able to breathe for the last 3 days and gets angry with me if I remind him that he promised me he would do his treatment at least once a day.

I'm very new to this! Help!

flcowgrl23 · Nov 14, 2007

My boyfriend is 21, and his brother is 28. They were both diagnosed in '92 and his brother (the 28 yo) passed away from CF on sat am. My boyfriend won't do his treatments, because he's convinced he's healthier than his brother was at his age. I don't know how to try to help him see I want him to be here for his family. His mother can't take it if she loses him too, and we're having a baby in june. I wonder, will he get over this and see that he could live longer if he does something? He hasn't been able to breathe for the last 3 days and gets angry with me if I remind him that he promised me he would do his treatment at least once a day.

I'm very new to this! Help!

flcowgrl23 · Nov 14, 2007

My boyfriend is 21, and his brother is 28. They were both diagnosed in '92 and his brother (the 28 yo) passed away from CF on sat am. My boyfriend won't do his treatments, because he's convinced he's healthier than his brother was at his age. I don't know how to try to help him see I want him to be here for his family. His mother can't take it if she loses him too, and we're having a baby in june. I wonder, will he get over this and see that he could live longer if he does something? He hasn't been able to breathe for the last 3 days and gets angry with me if I remind him that he promised me he would do his treatment at least once a day.

I'm very new to this! Help!

Diane · Nov 14, 2007

Thats a hard one. Sounds almost like your boyfriend is in denial, which i was in for years myself. I was very healthy when i was 21 and never did any treatments either. For some reason no-one could ever convince me that prevention was the key to maintaining my health. If he hasnt been able to breathe well for the past 3 days he needs to do something about it, or he wont live long enough to watch your baby grow up. It's possible he is also dealing with depression.... watching his brother lose his fight to cf must have been horrible. Urge him to see his cf doctor and get help, if he doesnt want to do it for himself, remind him that the baby will need his or her father to be in their life. Maybe you can get him on this site and it may help him to talk with others who have cf . I hope he will start taking better care of himself. Please update us on how things are going.........
R.I.P to his brother <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

Diane · Nov 14, 2007

Thats a hard one. Sounds almost like your boyfriend is in denial, which i was in for years myself. I was very healthy when i was 21 and never did any treatments either. For some reason no-one could ever convince me that prevention was the key to maintaining my health. If he hasnt been able to breathe well for the past 3 days he needs to do something about it, or he wont live long enough to watch your baby grow up. It's possible he is also dealing with depression.... watching his brother lose his fight to cf must have been horrible. Urge him to see his cf doctor and get help, if he doesnt want to do it for himself, remind him that the baby will need his or her father to be in their life. Maybe you can get him on this site and it may help him to talk with others who have cf . I hope he will start taking better care of himself. Please update us on how things are going.........
R.I.P to his brother <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

Diane · Nov 14, 2007

Thats a hard one. Sounds almost like your boyfriend is in denial, which i was in for years myself. I was very healthy when i was 21 and never did any treatments either. For some reason no-one could ever convince me that prevention was the key to maintaining my health. If he hasnt been able to breathe well for the past 3 days he needs to do something about it, or he wont live long enough to watch your baby grow up. It's possible he is also dealing with depression.... watching his brother lose his fight to cf must have been horrible. Urge him to see his cf doctor and get help, if he doesnt want to do it for himself, remind him that the baby will need his or her father to be in their life. Maybe you can get him on this site and it may help him to talk with others who have cf . I hope he will start taking better care of himself. Please update us on how things are going.........
R.I.P to his brother <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

Diane · Nov 14, 2007

Thats a hard one. Sounds almost like your boyfriend is in denial, which i was in for years myself. I was very healthy when i was 21 and never did any treatments either. For some reason no-one could ever convince me that prevention was the key to maintaining my health. If he hasnt been able to breathe well for the past 3 days he needs to do something about it, or he wont live long enough to watch your baby grow up. It's possible he is also dealing with depression.... watching his brother lose his fight to cf must have been horrible. Urge him to see his cf doctor and get help, if he doesnt want to do it for himself, remind him that the baby will need his or her father to be in their life. Maybe you can get him on this site and it may help him to talk with others who have cf . I hope he will start taking better care of himself. Please update us on how things are going.........
R.I.P to his brother <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

Diane · Nov 14, 2007

Thats a hard one. Sounds almost like your boyfriend is in denial, which i was in for years myself. I was very healthy when i was 21 and never did any treatments either. For some reason no-one could ever convince me that prevention was the key to maintaining my health. If he hasnt been able to breathe well for the past 3 days he needs to do something about it, or he wont live long enough to watch your baby grow up. It's possible he is also dealing with depression.... watching his brother lose his fight to cf must have been horrible. Urge him to see his cf doctor and get help, if he doesnt want to do it for himself, remind him that the baby will need his or her father to be in their life. Maybe you can get him on this site and it may help him to talk with others who have cf . I hope he will start taking better care of himself. Please update us on how things are going.........
R.I.P to his brother <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Nov 14, 2007

I am so sorry for your troubles! I am 23 yrs old with CF and I have to believe that 90+ percent of us will go through times where we dont do meds or we want to rebel. Its a very tough situation, esp with your bf's brother passing away. It may take your bf some time to recover and realize what he will be missing if he doesnt take his treatments and I know this sounds horrible of me, but give him some time. It took me two hospitliaztions within six months of each other, that knocked my senses into place. This had marked 4 hospitalizations in two years, when I was used to only going in once a year.

Its also hard when you dont see the effects from day to day. Last year while I was studnt teaching (my last semester of college) I barely did my meds...I was busy and didnt want to disrupt my room mates...lame excuse YES...but that was my reasoning. Since I moved back home, I have been 85% accurate in doing meds. This is a huge improvement over maybe 45% prior to that. And I have not been in the hosp. since then! I would just sorta be like....oh well, I dont feel any different today, so I will skip again...and again and again. Also since then my PFT's have rarely dropped below 80%! (which is also a very good sign, as before they had been low 70's) Like I said, long term the effects are very good, but you cant always think that way or see the benefit. It will take time and hopefully if your bf loses lung function he can gain it back.

Like Diane said, its extremely difficult to watch someone else with CF pass like that...I havent lost a brother or sister, but have seen other CFers die and it sucks. To know that could be you some day and to think that this person had shorter life is hard to handle. When I lost two CF friends, I was so upset b/c I kept thinking that could have been me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> and why was I the lucky one? You have definitely come to the right place and you are doing the right thing, looking for support..we are here to hold you up. If your bf needs to talk...send him here, we will listen! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Nov 14, 2007

I am so sorry for your troubles! I am 23 yrs old with CF and I have to believe that 90+ percent of us will go through times where we dont do meds or we want to rebel. Its a very tough situation, esp with your bf's brother passing away. It may take your bf some time to recover and realize what he will be missing if he doesnt take his treatments and I know this sounds horrible of me, but give him some time. It took me two hospitliaztions within six months of each other, that knocked my senses into place. This had marked 4 hospitalizations in two years, when I was used to only going in once a year.

Its also hard when you dont see the effects from day to day. Last year while I was studnt teaching (my last semester of college) I barely did my meds...I was busy and didnt want to disrupt my room mates...lame excuse YES...but that was my reasoning. Since I moved back home, I have been 85% accurate in doing meds. This is a huge improvement over maybe 45% prior to that. And I have not been in the hosp. since then! I would just sorta be like....oh well, I dont feel any different today, so I will skip again...and again and again. Also since then my PFT's have rarely dropped below 80%! (which is also a very good sign, as before they had been low 70's) Like I said, long term the effects are very good, but you cant always think that way or see the benefit. It will take time and hopefully if your bf loses lung function he can gain it back.

Like Diane said, its extremely difficult to watch someone else with CF pass like that...I havent lost a brother or sister, but have seen other CFers die and it sucks. To know that could be you some day and to think that this person had shorter life is hard to handle. When I lost two CF friends, I was so upset b/c I kept thinking that could have been me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> and why was I the lucky one? You have definitely come to the right place and you are doing the right thing, looking for support..we are here to hold you up. If your bf needs to talk...send him here, we will listen! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Nov 14, 2007

I am so sorry for your troubles! I am 23 yrs old with CF and I have to believe that 90+ percent of us will go through times where we dont do meds or we want to rebel. Its a very tough situation, esp with your bf's brother passing away. It may take your bf some time to recover and realize what he will be missing if he doesnt take his treatments and I know this sounds horrible of me, but give him some time. It took me two hospitliaztions within six months of each other, that knocked my senses into place. This had marked 4 hospitalizations in two years, when I was used to only going in once a year.

Its also hard when you dont see the effects from day to day. Last year while I was studnt teaching (my last semester of college) I barely did my meds...I was busy and didnt want to disrupt my room mates...lame excuse YES...but that was my reasoning. Since I moved back home, I have been 85% accurate in doing meds. This is a huge improvement over maybe 45% prior to that. And I have not been in the hosp. since then! I would just sorta be like....oh well, I dont feel any different today, so I will skip again...and again and again. Also since then my PFT's have rarely dropped below 80%! (which is also a very good sign, as before they had been low 70's) Like I said, long term the effects are very good, but you cant always think that way or see the benefit. It will take time and hopefully if your bf loses lung function he can gain it back.

Like Diane said, its extremely difficult to watch someone else with CF pass like that...I havent lost a brother or sister, but have seen other CFers die and it sucks. To know that could be you some day and to think that this person had shorter life is hard to handle. When I lost two CF friends, I was so upset b/c I kept thinking that could have been me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> and why was I the lucky one? You have definitely come to the right place and you are doing the right thing, looking for support..we are here to hold you up. If your bf needs to talk...send him here, we will listen! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Nov 14, 2007

I am so sorry for your troubles! I am 23 yrs old with CF and I have to believe that 90+ percent of us will go through times where we dont do meds or we want to rebel. Its a very tough situation, esp with your bf's brother passing away. It may take your bf some time to recover and realize what he will be missing if he doesnt take his treatments and I know this sounds horrible of me, but give him some time. It took me two hospitliaztions within six months of each other, that knocked my senses into place. This had marked 4 hospitalizations in two years, when I was used to only going in once a year.

Its also hard when you dont see the effects from day to day. Last year while I was studnt teaching (my last semester of college) I barely did my meds...I was busy and didnt want to disrupt my room mates...lame excuse YES...but that was my reasoning. Since I moved back home, I have been 85% accurate in doing meds. This is a huge improvement over maybe 45% prior to that. And I have not been in the hosp. since then! I would just sorta be like....oh well, I dont feel any different today, so I will skip again...and again and again. Also since then my PFT's have rarely dropped below 80%! (which is also a very good sign, as before they had been low 70's) Like I said, long term the effects are very good, but you cant always think that way or see the benefit. It will take time and hopefully if your bf loses lung function he can gain it back.

Like Diane said, its extremely difficult to watch someone else with CF pass like that...I havent lost a brother or sister, but have seen other CFers die and it sucks. To know that could be you some day and to think that this person had shorter life is hard to handle. When I lost two CF friends, I was so upset b/c I kept thinking that could have been me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> and why was I the lucky one? You have definitely come to the right place and you are doing the right thing, looking for support..we are here to hold you up. If your bf needs to talk...send him here, we will listen! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Nov 14, 2007

I am so sorry for your troubles! I am 23 yrs old with CF and I have to believe that 90+ percent of us will go through times where we dont do meds or we want to rebel. Its a very tough situation, esp with your bf's brother passing away. It may take your bf some time to recover and realize what he will be missing if he doesnt take his treatments and I know this sounds horrible of me, but give him some time. It took me two hospitliaztions within six months of each other, that knocked my senses into place. This had marked 4 hospitalizations in two years, when I was used to only going in once a year.

Its also hard when you dont see the effects from day to day. Last year while I was studnt teaching (my last semester of college) I barely did my meds...I was busy and didnt want to disrupt my room mates...lame excuse YES...but that was my reasoning. Since I moved back home, I have been 85% accurate in doing meds. This is a huge improvement over maybe 45% prior to that. And I have not been in the hosp. since then! I would just sorta be like....oh well, I dont feel any different today, so I will skip again...and again and again. Also since then my PFT's have rarely dropped below 80%! (which is also a very good sign, as before they had been low 70's) Like I said, long term the effects are very good, but you cant always think that way or see the benefit. It will take time and hopefully if your bf loses lung function he can gain it back.

Like Diane said, its extremely difficult to watch someone else with CF pass like that...I havent lost a brother or sister, but have seen other CFers die and it sucks. To know that could be you some day and to think that this person had shorter life is hard to handle. When I lost two CF friends, I was so upset b/c I kept thinking that could have been me...<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> and why was I the lucky one? You have definitely come to the right place and you are doing the right thing, looking for support..we are here to hold you up. If your bf needs to talk...send him here, we will listen! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

beleache · Nov 14, 2007