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do you wanna......splurge?

A

anonymous

New member
Hi All,
Just wondering if you have ever come across this.....
I really want a new car, that seems harmless enough. Well I want a 2004 Jaguar. I can put a down payment on it, I can make the payments (it's used obviously). It was a business car, that was leased & traded in, it has low miles and it's affordable. Yeah, the payment would be higher than I have ever paid before, but I work and I'm ok with that.
So here is the problem...
My husband says I want to do this to get more attention. (well, he's 18 years older than me and he gets insecure). He's 44 and I'm 27. Well I really want this car, it's my dream car and I have always worked so I can afford to have something like this. I'm not extravagent (yeah, if I knew how to spell, it'd help) but I have put a lot of thought into this and I want this car. Well my husband says "why don't we wait 2-3 years, we will be in a better financial situation". Granted he just opened his own fabrication business so (his) money can be tight at times, but not to the point of being scared financially. (Ex: We just took a tropical vacation to the Dominican Republic for the heck of it)

I can't look down the road for 2-3 years. I live for now, and I am unable to have the typical 10 year plan that most people my age have. So this really bothers me about my husband. Have any of you had feelings like this, like why wait if it makes me happy I want to do this. I could look at all the negatives and say, Oh, I can't have a baby, I can't do this that or the other, but I don't. I'm a genuine and giving person. I work with rape victims for a living to empower them. (yes, I had been though that myself once.) So I try to give back. And now I want to do this 1 thing for me and he is totally unsupportive about it. To the point of telling me he would not even want to ride in the car with me.
What do all of you think? Have you ever gone through this before? Had these same feelings? Or am I coming across as a spoiled, selfish snot?
Please give me your input.
Thanks a million!!
Sincerely,
Kelli
27 w/CF
ps. I'd just like to add that my husband has a huge fishing boat, a jet boat, and a golf cart just for fun. Uggggggghhhhhhh!
 
C

ClashPunk82

New member
Kelli, what you are doing is not one bit selfish or snotty. I just bought myself a new car because it's what I wanted. I am not able to tarvel or do much else so my car is my escape. I think you do whatever makes you happy. It really makes me mad that your husband is so against this. I don't see why. He should understand that we aren't going to live foreever and should splurge one in awhile. I say go for it, buy that car and have fun with it. And sit your husband down and explain to him what you just explained to us!! Maybe he will be a little more understanding then!
 
A

anonymous

New member
Thanks Nicole,
I did sit him down tonight actually but it didn't go well so I actually walked away before it got the point of no return. I told him the "I'm not going to live forever" and he accused me of basing a decision on something I don't know about (for sure.) Yeah, well chances are buddy, that the #'s aren't looking good and I'm actually going to the hospital tomorrow because I cough up blood all the time. He irritates me so much sometimes!!!!
kelli
 
C

ClashPunk82

New member
This may seem rude and if it is then tell me to shut up, but maybe he isn't the best person to be with. It sounds like he doesn't take your disease too seriously and nor does he seem to care very much. Now obviously I don't know him at all but he just doesn't sem to compassionate. My bf soon to be husband, when i told him I was buying a car he said go for it. it's your money and I want you to be happy. Mybe if you could have someone else sit with you and talk to him not only about the car but about how he is treating the situation and your disease. Oh and I am sorry to hear about the blood, I hope everything goes well at the doctor's and hope you start to feel better soon!! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
T

timmy

New member
if it means a lot to u just go and buy it. just don't tell the husbund and do it. it's not like he can ask you to return it. And when you git it drive like hell! enjoy it
 
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Purplelungs

New member
sounds like he is in denial for one. the "10 year plan" should apply to you and sure you may still be alive in ten years but whose to say your still going to be in good health and able to work....point out to him that in 2 or 3 years time what if you dont have a job and a deal like this is rare. also it sounds like he is jealous....he wants the car....i mean who wouldnt its an awesome car. and like you said he is insecure and guys that act like that seem controlling to me and should grow up...sorry if that was out of line. but i do feel the same as you sometimes. I want somethings but cant have them, I have to wait. Like I wanted to take a vacation somewhere this summer and the hubby says he wants to wait till the truck is paid off and this and that....great reasons to wait...but i just cant help but think the longer we wait the worse I will get and I wont be able to travel at all....i mean I can hardly keep up as it is. but I still hold him to his promises and you should to. he wants you to be happy say this car will make you happy. and if its still no say well in two years YOU will buy me the car with your own money...hehe..
 
A

anonymous

New member
Normally, I wouldn't have responded to this one. Since I don't really know your financial situation or much about your relationship I didn't feel suited to give a response....... until I read your p.s. A "huge fishing boat"? A "jet boat" ?? AND a "golf cart".

It's your turn to shine! Some men are stingy - even when their wives have something nice, it's because the husband decided they could have it and bought it as a gift. I agree with the other poster who said he was jealous. I do disagree with just going out and buying it without telling him. Just curious, is your husband INSISTING NO, or just discouraging the idea. If he is putting his foot down completely, maybe he should sell his toys (seeing as he thinks you need to be in a better financial position). 2-3 years won't make too big of a difference financially, I think he is just hoping that you forget about it.
 
A

anonymous

New member
Here's a poem I recieved on email, I think it's appropriate to give to your husband.
Dance like no one's watching-

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married,
have a baby, then another.
Then we get frustrated that the kids aren't old enough
and we'll be more content when they are.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with,
we will certainly be happy
when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete
when our spouse gets his or her act together,
when we get a nicer car,
are able to go on a nice vacation,
when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time
to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.
Its best to admit this to yourself
and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favorite quotes comes
from Alfred D Souza.
He said "For along time it had seemed
to me that life was about to begin- real life.
But there was always an obstacle in the way,
something to gotten through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid. Then life would begin.
At last it dawned on me that these
obstacles were in my life."
This perspective has helped me to see
that there is no way to happiness.
Happiness IS the way,
so, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it with someone speical,
So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids, until your kids leave the house,
until you start work, until you retire,
until you get married, until you get divorced,
unitl Friday night, until Sunday morning,
until you get a new home until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer,
until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare, until the 1st or the 15th,
until your song comes in,
until youve had a drink, until youve sobered up,
until you die, until your born again
to decide that there is no better time
than right now.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money.
Love like you never been hurt and Dance like noones watching.

Hope this helps him see the light. We may not have tomorrow. Live for today.
Becky in Mich
<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
That email poem was really good Becky. Yes I would go out and buy that car, it does not appear that your budget is that stretched!! Enjoy driving. Life is short....
 
R

rose4cale

New member
My husband and I have always -shared- our money because we had no choice. And we always discuss our major purchases. But it doesn't sound like your husband is being fair. I hate that phrase but honestly, with all of his toys I think you have every right to drive the car of your choice, especially if it's your money. He does sound jealous to me as well. I think he's afraid of any attention you may get, no matter how you get it.
 
K

kybert

New member
wow some people should stop over-analysing this poor guy. ALL men have been like that since the beginning of time and thats something you just have to deal with and work your way around. if you really want the car, just get it. it wont kill him and they get over the initial shock pretty quick. but why not wait 2 years like he said? you might end up with an even better car! and who knows, maybe your financial situation isnt as good as you think it is. guys dont like to admit to anyone that they are worse off than they use to be.
 
A

anonymous

New member
Hello again, it's Kelli the original poster.
Yes, my husband and I have talked and talked about this. He totally disagreed with the whole idea (and I didn't want to make my marriage horrible for the sake of a car, so that did matter a tad). Well we decided yesterday that I would get the car. He had big tears in his eyes (I'm not sure of those were tears of panic for getting something expensive, or tears showing he had been a huge pain in the butt and felt bad for making my life hell for 5 days!) and didn't give me any grief for wanting it. May I add we were discussing this as I was awaiting my chest X-ray due to all of the bleeding, so hopefully that was tugging on the old heart strings just a little.

Not only am I going to get the Jaguar but we are looking into getting a new one. (boy did he have a change of heart!).

I would really like to thank all of you for your input, it really helped me in my decision and I appreciate the fact that you made me feel normal and not crazy.

Thanks all.......

VROOM....VROOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Kelli
 
L

luke

Guest
Kelli,

My wife has recently decided she wants a new car, we are pretty low key anymore and did not want a "flashy" car. She decided she liked the way the Pontiac GTO looked, I agreed and that is what she will get. Of course, I am a guy and know this thing packs 400hp and goes 0-60 in 5.3 seconds. I think I am more excited about getting it than she is! Point of my story....your husband wants that Jag just as bad as you do! Good luck and happy motoring.



Luke
 
A

anonymous

New member
Thanks Luke.
I appreciate your point of view. It reminds me of the time I wanted a puppy for my birthday 3 years ago. My husband had a HUGE fit! Now he loves our dog so much. Which is kind of funny to see since my dog is only a 3# chihuahua. Moral of the story, I think he will really like the car but he just has to be a knuckle head first. He wants me to look at the Chrysler Crossfire today, which is $15,000 more than the used Jaguar that I looked at. I swear I will never understand him. But no matter what car I get ( as long as I like it) I will be just trilled.
Thanks for all of you advice, opinions, and point of views. I appreciate it!
-kelli
 
A

anonymous

New member
<b>OH YEAH BABY!! I WAS APPROVED TODAY TO GET THE JAG....I WILL HAVE IT TOMORROW OR THURSDAY. YIPPIE..................</b>
I AM REALLY EXCITED AND MY HUSBAND CAME AROUND. I KNEW HE WOULD HE JUST HAD TO BE A TURD FIRST.
I'M SO EXCITED.
VROOM......VVVRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KELLI
 
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