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family not caring

S

Solo

New member
I don't think you're being self-centered at all. For example, people at my work when I come back from having my 2 days off ask, "Hey Shane, what did you do?" The popular answer would probably be that I went to a party or something. I often say without hesitation, "Nothing." Of course I did a lot- I do many things to care for myself, and hardly ever call off from work. Most of the people I work with call off if they get a simple paper cut. But I also realize that to appreciate someone else's hard work you must be in their shoes, it's so easy to say, "That person's lazy" when you don't have their schedule or do their routine.
But I do think people tend to jump in or comment when there is not so good news, for instance when I was hospitalized last time, I received calls from people I normally wouldn't hear from. I think it's mostly selfish to prove to themselves that they care. In nature, most people normally pay more attention to bad news, if you notice when there is an accident on the road, traffic slows down as people tend to come down to a screeching halt to see what has happened.
 
S

Solo

New member
I don't think you're being self-centered at all. For example, people at my work when I come back from having my 2 days off ask, "Hey Shane, what did you do?" The popular answer would probably be that I went to a party or something. I often say without hesitation, "Nothing." Of course I did a lot- I do many things to care for myself, and hardly ever call off from work. Most of the people I work with call off if they get a simple paper cut. But I also realize that to appreciate someone else's hard work you must be in their shoes, it's so easy to say, "That person's lazy" when you don't have their schedule or do their routine.
But I do think people tend to jump in or comment when there is not so good news, for instance when I was hospitalized last time, I received calls from people I normally wouldn't hear from. I think it's mostly selfish to prove to themselves that they care. In nature, most people normally pay more attention to bad news, if you notice when there is an accident on the road, traffic slows down as people tend to come down to a screeching halt to see what has happened.
 
S

Solo

New member
I don't think you're being self-centered at all. For example, people at my work when I come back from having my 2 days off ask, "Hey Shane, what did you do?" The popular answer would probably be that I went to a party or something. I often say without hesitation, "Nothing." Of course I did a lot- I do many things to care for myself, and hardly ever call off from work. Most of the people I work with call off if they get a simple paper cut. But I also realize that to appreciate someone else's hard work you must be in their shoes, it's so easy to say, "That person's lazy" when you don't have their schedule or do their routine.
But I do think people tend to jump in or comment when there is not so good news, for instance when I was hospitalized last time, I received calls from people I normally wouldn't hear from. I think it's mostly selfish to prove to themselves that they care. In nature, most people normally pay more attention to bad news, if you notice when there is an accident on the road, traffic slows down as people tend to come down to a screeching halt to see what has happened.
 
S

Solo

New member
I don't think you're being self-centered at all. For example, people at my work when I come back from having my 2 days off ask, "Hey Shane, what did you do?" The popular answer would probably be that I went to a party or something. I often say without hesitation, "Nothing." Of course I did a lot- I do many things to care for myself, and hardly ever call off from work. Most of the people I work with call off if they get a simple paper cut. But I also realize that to appreciate someone else's hard work you must be in their shoes, it's so easy to say, "That person's lazy" when you don't have their schedule or do their routine.
But I do think people tend to jump in or comment when there is not so good news, for instance when I was hospitalized last time, I received calls from people I normally wouldn't hear from. I think it's mostly selfish to prove to themselves that they care. In nature, most people normally pay more attention to bad news, if you notice when there is an accident on the road, traffic slows down as people tend to come down to a screeching halt to see what has happened.
 
S

Solo

New member
I don't think you're being self-centered at all. For example, people at my work when I come back from having my 2 days off ask, "Hey Shane, what did you do?" The popular answer would probably be that I went to a party or something. I often say without hesitation, "Nothing." Of course I did a lot- I do many things to care for myself, and hardly ever call off from work. Most of the people I work with call off if they get a simple paper cut. But I also realize that to appreciate someone else's hard work you must be in their shoes, it's so easy to say, "That person's lazy" when you don't have their schedule or do their routine.
<br />But I do think people tend to jump in or comment when there is not so good news, for instance when I was hospitalized last time, I received calls from people I normally wouldn't hear from. I think it's mostly selfish to prove to themselves that they care. In nature, most people normally pay more attention to bad news, if you notice when there is an accident on the road, traffic slows down as people tend to come down to a screeching halt to see what has happened.
<br />
 
D

Diane

New member
I am guessing it isnt that they dont care, its probably more that they dont get it. I'll give you an example of people not getting it....
One of my closest friends who sees that i go on iv's a lot, saw me right before my first embolization, knows i had 2 more, always says she doesnt know how i do it, then a while back she had a problem with her foot. her foot hurt to walk. It was nothing serious ( went away in a few days) but the one day she was complaining sooooo much about it i finally said " <i>well crap joanie i wish all i had to complain about is my foot"</i> and she said <i>"I'll trade you" </i>I stopped her right then and there and said <i>"yeah joanie, you sit and think that one over" </i>and witnin seconds she realized her foot was nothing in the realm of things i go thru in my life.
But it just goes to show how quickly everyone forgets just what we go thru. It isnt that they dont care, it's that <b>they</b> arent going thru it. Its hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and like others said everyone gets so busy in their own lives that they just dont seem to have time to reply. When i have small victories, only those closest to me realize they are awesome things in my life, but most others probably wonder whats the big deal since they just arent in the loop.
 
D

Diane

New member
I am guessing it isnt that they dont care, its probably more that they dont get it. I'll give you an example of people not getting it....
One of my closest friends who sees that i go on iv's a lot, saw me right before my first embolization, knows i had 2 more, always says she doesnt know how i do it, then a while back she had a problem with her foot. her foot hurt to walk. It was nothing serious ( went away in a few days) but the one day she was complaining sooooo much about it i finally said " <i>well crap joanie i wish all i had to complain about is my foot"</i> and she said <i>"I'll trade you" </i>I stopped her right then and there and said <i>"yeah joanie, you sit and think that one over" </i>and witnin seconds she realized her foot was nothing in the realm of things i go thru in my life.
But it just goes to show how quickly everyone forgets just what we go thru. It isnt that they dont care, it's that <b>they</b> arent going thru it. Its hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and like others said everyone gets so busy in their own lives that they just dont seem to have time to reply. When i have small victories, only those closest to me realize they are awesome things in my life, but most others probably wonder whats the big deal since they just arent in the loop.
 
D

Diane

New member
I am guessing it isnt that they dont care, its probably more that they dont get it. I'll give you an example of people not getting it....
One of my closest friends who sees that i go on iv's a lot, saw me right before my first embolization, knows i had 2 more, always says she doesnt know how i do it, then a while back she had a problem with her foot. her foot hurt to walk. It was nothing serious ( went away in a few days) but the one day she was complaining sooooo much about it i finally said " <i>well crap joanie i wish all i had to complain about is my foot"</i> and she said <i>"I'll trade you" </i>I stopped her right then and there and said <i>"yeah joanie, you sit and think that one over" </i>and witnin seconds she realized her foot was nothing in the realm of things i go thru in my life.
But it just goes to show how quickly everyone forgets just what we go thru. It isnt that they dont care, it's that <b>they</b> arent going thru it. Its hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and like others said everyone gets so busy in their own lives that they just dont seem to have time to reply. When i have small victories, only those closest to me realize they are awesome things in my life, but most others probably wonder whats the big deal since they just arent in the loop.
 
D

Diane

New member
I am guessing it isnt that they dont care, its probably more that they dont get it. I'll give you an example of people not getting it....
One of my closest friends who sees that i go on iv's a lot, saw me right before my first embolization, knows i had 2 more, always says she doesnt know how i do it, then a while back she had a problem with her foot. her foot hurt to walk. It was nothing serious ( went away in a few days) but the one day she was complaining sooooo much about it i finally said " <i>well crap joanie i wish all i had to complain about is my foot"</i> and she said <i>"I'll trade you" </i>I stopped her right then and there and said <i>"yeah joanie, you sit and think that one over" </i>and witnin seconds she realized her foot was nothing in the realm of things i go thru in my life.
But it just goes to show how quickly everyone forgets just what we go thru. It isnt that they dont care, it's that <b>they</b> arent going thru it. Its hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and like others said everyone gets so busy in their own lives that they just dont seem to have time to reply. When i have small victories, only those closest to me realize they are awesome things in my life, but most others probably wonder whats the big deal since they just arent in the loop.
 
D

Diane

New member
I am guessing it isnt that they dont care, its probably more that they dont get it. I'll give you an example of people not getting it....
<br />One of my closest friends who sees that i go on iv's a lot, saw me right before my first embolization, knows i had 2 more, always says she doesnt know how i do it, then a while back she had a problem with her foot. her foot hurt to walk. It was nothing serious ( went away in a few days) but the one day she was complaining sooooo much about it i finally said " <i>well crap joanie i wish all i had to complain about is my foot"</i> and she said <i>"I'll trade you" </i>I stopped her right then and there and said <i>"yeah joanie, you sit and think that one over" </i>and witnin seconds she realized her foot was nothing in the realm of things i go thru in my life.
<br />But it just goes to show how quickly everyone forgets just what we go thru. It isnt that they dont care, it's that <b>they</b> arent going thru it. Its hard to put yourself in someone elses shoes and like others said everyone gets so busy in their own lives that they just dont seem to have time to reply. When i have small victories, only those closest to me realize they are awesome things in my life, but most others probably wonder whats the big deal since they just arent in the loop.
 
B

beleache

New member
Hey Karen,

I would probably be one of those ppl that dont check the site.. I mainly come to this site. Sometimes i will check CB sites or other links that are posted here, but for the most part this is it for me..

I rarely ck my e-mails, so i really cant get mad at ppl for something that i am guilty of <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

I am more the type of person that will call you up and ask how things are going if i know there is a problem, maybe say a special prayer..

I hope that your close family and friends are doing that and if they are not then i can understand you feeling bad about that..

Just went back and read that ppl arent asking. No you are not being sensitive ...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni
 
B

beleache

New member
Hey Karen,

I would probably be one of those ppl that dont check the site.. I mainly come to this site. Sometimes i will check CB sites or other links that are posted here, but for the most part this is it for me..

I rarely ck my e-mails, so i really cant get mad at ppl for something that i am guilty of <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

I am more the type of person that will call you up and ask how things are going if i know there is a problem, maybe say a special prayer..

I hope that your close family and friends are doing that and if they are not then i can understand you feeling bad about that..

Just went back and read that ppl arent asking. No you are not being sensitive ...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni
 
B

beleache

New member
Hey Karen,

I would probably be one of those ppl that dont check the site.. I mainly come to this site. Sometimes i will check CB sites or other links that are posted here, but for the most part this is it for me..

I rarely ck my e-mails, so i really cant get mad at ppl for something that i am guilty of <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

I am more the type of person that will call you up and ask how things are going if i know there is a problem, maybe say a special prayer..

I hope that your close family and friends are doing that and if they are not then i can understand you feeling bad about that..

Just went back and read that ppl arent asking. No you are not being sensitive ...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni
 
B

beleache

New member
Hey Karen,

I would probably be one of those ppl that dont check the site.. I mainly come to this site. Sometimes i will check CB sites or other links that are posted here, but for the most part this is it for me..

I rarely ck my e-mails, so i really cant get mad at ppl for something that i am guilty of <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">

I am more the type of person that will call you up and ask how things are going if i know there is a problem, maybe say a special prayer..

I hope that your close family and friends are doing that and if they are not then i can understand you feeling bad about that..

Just went back and read that ppl arent asking. No you are not being sensitive ...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni
 
B

beleache

New member
Hey Karen,
<br />
<br /> I would probably be one of those ppl that dont check the site.. I mainly come to this site. Sometimes i will check CB sites or other links that are posted here, but for the most part this is it for me..
<br />
<br /> I rarely ck my e-mails, so i really cant get mad at ppl for something that i am guilty of <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br /> I am more the type of person that will call you up and ask how things are going if i know there is a problem, maybe say a special prayer..
<br />
<br /> I hope that your close family and friends are doing that and if they are not then i can understand you feeling bad about that..
<br />
<br /> Just went back and read that ppl arent asking. No you are not being sensitive ...
<br />
<br />{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to you <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> joni
 
S

Skye

New member
I knew you all would have words of wisdom<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I think you are all right about not commenting about good news and commenting more about bad news. I did tend to notice that. Maybe they smile when they read it and then move on. BTW....I don't expect anyone to be checking in on my site at all. I just wanted those close to me to read when I updated my journal and they all get a friendly e-mail when that happens and it takes a minute to read the journal.

I guess in reality that no one except another CFer can understand where I was 3 years ago and where I am at today. I look like the same person; but, I am not. CF is an invisible disease which has its good and bad points. They really could have no earthly idea what I have been through.
 
S

Skye

New member
I knew you all would have words of wisdom<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I think you are all right about not commenting about good news and commenting more about bad news. I did tend to notice that. Maybe they smile when they read it and then move on. BTW....I don't expect anyone to be checking in on my site at all. I just wanted those close to me to read when I updated my journal and they all get a friendly e-mail when that happens and it takes a minute to read the journal.

I guess in reality that no one except another CFer can understand where I was 3 years ago and where I am at today. I look like the same person; but, I am not. CF is an invisible disease which has its good and bad points. They really could have no earthly idea what I have been through.
 
S

Skye

New member
I knew you all would have words of wisdom<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I think you are all right about not commenting about good news and commenting more about bad news. I did tend to notice that. Maybe they smile when they read it and then move on. BTW....I don't expect anyone to be checking in on my site at all. I just wanted those close to me to read when I updated my journal and they all get a friendly e-mail when that happens and it takes a minute to read the journal.

I guess in reality that no one except another CFer can understand where I was 3 years ago and where I am at today. I look like the same person; but, I am not. CF is an invisible disease which has its good and bad points. They really could have no earthly idea what I have been through.
 
S

Skye

New member
I knew you all would have words of wisdom<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I think you are all right about not commenting about good news and commenting more about bad news. I did tend to notice that. Maybe they smile when they read it and then move on. BTW....I don't expect anyone to be checking in on my site at all. I just wanted those close to me to read when I updated my journal and they all get a friendly e-mail when that happens and it takes a minute to read the journal.

I guess in reality that no one except another CFer can understand where I was 3 years ago and where I am at today. I look like the same person; but, I am not. CF is an invisible disease which has its good and bad points. They really could have no earthly idea what I have been through.
 
S

Skye

New member
I knew you all would have words of wisdom<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I think you are all right about not commenting about good news and commenting more about bad news. I did tend to notice that. Maybe they smile when they read it and then move on. BTW....I don't expect anyone to be checking in on my site at all. I just wanted those close to me to read when I updated my journal and they all get a friendly e-mail when that happens and it takes a minute to read the journal.
<br />
<br />I guess in reality that no one except another CFer can understand where I was 3 years ago and where I am at today. I look like the same person; but, I am not. CF is an invisible disease which has its good and bad points. They really could have no earthly idea what I have been through.
 
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