I think each relationship is unique. I feel pretty strongly that one of the keys is to work hard at talking through it. Not ignoring the "gorilla", but you sharing your struggles/worries and listening to his. I know a tough part of hospitalizations for my SO is that he can't "fix" it. Boy, if he wants to be there and involved and supportive-that's awesome! Just what that looks like will be unique to you guys and sometimes it is a "figure it out as we go" thing.