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Have any adult CFers/tx patients on this site adopted a baby?

J

julie

New member
Anon, rest assured that Amy (sakasuka) is being most sincere in her post and stating her opinion about adoption. She finds it amazing and just wants adoptive parents to know that.

I know Mark and I looked, very breifly into adoption but wanted to try IVF first. HOwever, just in the little investigation I did (and it was very little), it seemed rather difficult, time consuming and financially draining. Home evaluation and home visits, forking over a LOT of money to adopt a baby who NEEDS parents (more money than what we paid for IVF), giving medical records.... it was just so much to open our house to a baby. If you can, I do think private adoption is the way to go, but that's not always possible.
 
J

julie

New member
Anon, rest assured that Amy (sakasuka) is being most sincere in her post and stating her opinion about adoption. She finds it amazing and just wants adoptive parents to know that.

I know Mark and I looked, very breifly into adoption but wanted to try IVF first. HOwever, just in the little investigation I did (and it was very little), it seemed rather difficult, time consuming and financially draining. Home evaluation and home visits, forking over a LOT of money to adopt a baby who NEEDS parents (more money than what we paid for IVF), giving medical records.... it was just so much to open our house to a baby. If you can, I do think private adoption is the way to go, but that's not always possible.
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
I'll be as honest as possible here.

As many of you know, my husband and I have been trying to conceive now for almost 1.5 years. I will not be trying for too much longer. I'm am getting so tired of negatives every single month that I'm becoming bitter. The joy is fading...

Our second choice was always adoption. We went to an orientation with one domestic, public adoption agency. We were disgusted with many of the things that were involved with a domestic adoption. I called other domestic adoption agencies and felt the same way.

So we thought about Guatemala. My husband is Spanish/Italian so for us we would be more than happy to offer our home to an interracial child. We want to give a child an opportunity that they would never have had in their country of origin. WHAT HAS HELD US BACK IS THE COST! I think it is so sad how money is everything. And I mean everything. I can't help get disgusted with the adoption process with many of it's downfalls. To me, the biggest downfall is the U.S.'s process of the fost/adopt system. I personally know two couples that went that route. They both ended up losing the kids that were assured were theirs only to go back to drug-addicted, abusive parents. One child died. So what's fair with that? Adoptive parents have to jump hoops, have our privacy tramped into the ground, and pay top dollar for a child that is NEVER/OR CLOSE TO NEVER guareenteed. It ticks me of so bad.

I don't really believe that IVF, IUI, or fertility drugs are for me...BUT the more I think about everything, the more I support those methods. I want to be foremost a mother. Whether it's by adoption or natural, but I can't see investing tons of money into lawyer fees, judges, paperwork, and everything else when I could have my own child for half as much. Am I right to make this point? I feel so bad for the children that need homes but why should I have to pay for everything in everyway for wanting to give them the home they deserve? I have CF. My husband works 50 hours a weeks. We are not millionaires nor should we have to get in debt for the next 10 years to enjoy the benefits of adoption. Heck, the debt would may outlive me. I feel like with adoption I'm being punished not only with the expense but b/c I have CF. I feel like they want to slap me in the face again - like once, twice, three times isn't enough...

For this reason, I know in my heart that this is why I have continued to try to conceive without intervention as long as I have. My hope is vanishing more and more each day. But adoption is not affordable and is "less friendly" to those who have a chronic illness than to those that are healthy. I don't know. I feel so confused - so overwhelmed. I just want to cry sometimes. I really feel lost with no way to turn when it comes to motherhood. <img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
I'll be as honest as possible here.

As many of you know, my husband and I have been trying to conceive now for almost 1.5 years. I will not be trying for too much longer. I'm am getting so tired of negatives every single month that I'm becoming bitter. The joy is fading...

Our second choice was always adoption. We went to an orientation with one domestic, public adoption agency. We were disgusted with many of the things that were involved with a domestic adoption. I called other domestic adoption agencies and felt the same way.

So we thought about Guatemala. My husband is Spanish/Italian so for us we would be more than happy to offer our home to an interracial child. We want to give a child an opportunity that they would never have had in their country of origin. WHAT HAS HELD US BACK IS THE COST! I think it is so sad how money is everything. And I mean everything. I can't help get disgusted with the adoption process with many of it's downfalls. To me, the biggest downfall is the U.S.'s process of the fost/adopt system. I personally know two couples that went that route. They both ended up losing the kids that were assured were theirs only to go back to drug-addicted, abusive parents. One child died. So what's fair with that? Adoptive parents have to jump hoops, have our privacy tramped into the ground, and pay top dollar for a child that is NEVER/OR CLOSE TO NEVER guareenteed. It ticks me of so bad.

I don't really believe that IVF, IUI, or fertility drugs are for me...BUT the more I think about everything, the more I support those methods. I want to be foremost a mother. Whether it's by adoption or natural, but I can't see investing tons of money into lawyer fees, judges, paperwork, and everything else when I could have my own child for half as much. Am I right to make this point? I feel so bad for the children that need homes but why should I have to pay for everything in everyway for wanting to give them the home they deserve? I have CF. My husband works 50 hours a weeks. We are not millionaires nor should we have to get in debt for the next 10 years to enjoy the benefits of adoption. Heck, the debt would may outlive me. I feel like with adoption I'm being punished not only with the expense but b/c I have CF. I feel like they want to slap me in the face again - like once, twice, three times isn't enough...

For this reason, I know in my heart that this is why I have continued to try to conceive without intervention as long as I have. My hope is vanishing more and more each day. But adoption is not affordable and is "less friendly" to those who have a chronic illness than to those that are healthy. I don't know. I feel so confused - so overwhelmed. I just want to cry sometimes. I really feel lost with no way to turn when it comes to motherhood. <img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
I'll be as honest as possible here.

As many of you know, my husband and I have been trying to conceive now for almost 1.5 years. I will not be trying for too much longer. I'm am getting so tired of negatives every single month that I'm becoming bitter. The joy is fading...

Our second choice was always adoption. We went to an orientation with one domestic, public adoption agency. We were disgusted with many of the things that were involved with a domestic adoption. I called other domestic adoption agencies and felt the same way.

So we thought about Guatemala. My husband is Spanish/Italian so for us we would be more than happy to offer our home to an interracial child. We want to give a child an opportunity that they would never have had in their country of origin. WHAT HAS HELD US BACK IS THE COST! I think it is so sad how money is everything. And I mean everything. I can't help get disgusted with the adoption process with many of it's downfalls. To me, the biggest downfall is the U.S.'s process of the fost/adopt system. I personally know two couples that went that route. They both ended up losing the kids that were assured were theirs only to go back to drug-addicted, abusive parents. One child died. So what's fair with that? Adoptive parents have to jump hoops, have our privacy tramped into the ground, and pay top dollar for a child that is NEVER/OR CLOSE TO NEVER guareenteed. It ticks me of so bad.

I don't really believe that IVF, IUI, or fertility drugs are for me...BUT the more I think about everything, the more I support those methods. I want to be foremost a mother. Whether it's by adoption or natural, but I can't see investing tons of money into lawyer fees, judges, paperwork, and everything else when I could have my own child for half as much. Am I right to make this point? I feel so bad for the children that need homes but why should I have to pay for everything in everyway for wanting to give them the home they deserve? I have CF. My husband works 50 hours a weeks. We are not millionaires nor should we have to get in debt for the next 10 years to enjoy the benefits of adoption. Heck, the debt would may outlive me. I feel like with adoption I'm being punished not only with the expense but b/c I have CF. I feel like they want to slap me in the face again - like once, twice, three times isn't enough...

For this reason, I know in my heart that this is why I have continued to try to conceive without intervention as long as I have. My hope is vanishing more and more each day. But adoption is not affordable and is "less friendly" to those who have a chronic illness than to those that are healthy. I don't know. I feel so confused - so overwhelmed. I just want to cry sometimes. I really feel lost with no way to turn when it comes to motherhood. <img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I am very sorry for highjacking your topic, but it eats me up more and more with each passing day. You posted it, and I was so aggrevated that I couldn't resist. I'm sorry...
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I am very sorry for highjacking your topic, but it eats me up more and more with each passing day. You posted it, and I was so aggrevated that I couldn't resist. I'm sorry...
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I am very sorry for highjacking your topic, but it eats me up more and more with each passing day. You posted it, and I was so aggrevated that I couldn't resist. I'm sorry...
 
M

miesl

New member
Ladybug (and others):

Unfortunately, here's the requirement for China, effective the end of April 2007.

<i>Health status - Both parents are fully healthy both mentally and physically. Families cannot have the following conditions: AIDS, mental handicap, infectious disease with infective stage, blind or deaf (unless adopting a child with the same special need), language function loss, afunction or dysfunction of limbs, severe facial deformation, severe diseases that require long term treatment and which affect life expectance such as a malignant tumor, lupus, nephrosis, epilepsy, etc, organ transplant within the past 10 years, schizophrenia, medication for severe mental disorders (i.e. depression, mania, anxiety, neurosis, etc.) within the past 2 years, body mass index under 40</i>
 
M

miesl

New member
Ladybug (and others):

Unfortunately, here's the requirement for China, effective the end of April 2007.

<i>Health status - Both parents are fully healthy both mentally and physically. Families cannot have the following conditions: AIDS, mental handicap, infectious disease with infective stage, blind or deaf (unless adopting a child with the same special need), language function loss, afunction or dysfunction of limbs, severe facial deformation, severe diseases that require long term treatment and which affect life expectance such as a malignant tumor, lupus, nephrosis, epilepsy, etc, organ transplant within the past 10 years, schizophrenia, medication for severe mental disorders (i.e. depression, mania, anxiety, neurosis, etc.) within the past 2 years, body mass index under 40</i>
 
M

miesl

New member
Ladybug (and others):

Unfortunately, here's the requirement for China, effective the end of April 2007.

<i>Health status - Both parents are fully healthy both mentally and physically. Families cannot have the following conditions: AIDS, mental handicap, infectious disease with infective stage, blind or deaf (unless adopting a child with the same special need), language function loss, afunction or dysfunction of limbs, severe facial deformation, severe diseases that require long term treatment and which affect life expectance such as a malignant tumor, lupus, nephrosis, epilepsy, etc, organ transplant within the past 10 years, schizophrenia, medication for severe mental disorders (i.e. depression, mania, anxiety, neurosis, etc.) within the past 2 years, body mass index under 40</i>
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Hi.

Jennifer, you didn't hijack my topic. It's for all to share and I certainly do feel your frustration/sadness at this disease and the fact that it makes having a child (in whatever way) so difficult. It just sucks. The more I read about adoption, the more I think it's not for us, either. Beyond the $$ factor, most people have written that we need to supply a doctor's note about my health/life expectancy. Since I am active on the tx list and would not adopt until post-tx I doubt any country/agency would accept my condition considering the life expectancy after 5 years of tx is only 50% for lungs (if I'm wrong, please tell me!!!).
It leaves us with the other option, IVF now, storing the embryos and then finding a surrogate post-tx (also very expensive). But iVF now could cause havoc on my already fragile body and I'm not sure if the docs will agree it. We've had a consultation, but the docs are moving cautiously.

There are no easy answers for any of us, but I remain hopeful that where there's a will there is a way.

p.s. thanks to the person who left the info on China...guess I'll have to remove that from our list...
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Hi.

Jennifer, you didn't hijack my topic. It's for all to share and I certainly do feel your frustration/sadness at this disease and the fact that it makes having a child (in whatever way) so difficult. It just sucks. The more I read about adoption, the more I think it's not for us, either. Beyond the $$ factor, most people have written that we need to supply a doctor's note about my health/life expectancy. Since I am active on the tx list and would not adopt until post-tx I doubt any country/agency would accept my condition considering the life expectancy after 5 years of tx is only 50% for lungs (if I'm wrong, please tell me!!!).
It leaves us with the other option, IVF now, storing the embryos and then finding a surrogate post-tx (also very expensive). But iVF now could cause havoc on my already fragile body and I'm not sure if the docs will agree it. We've had a consultation, but the docs are moving cautiously.

There are no easy answers for any of us, but I remain hopeful that where there's a will there is a way.

p.s. thanks to the person who left the info on China...guess I'll have to remove that from our list...
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Hi.

Jennifer, you didn't hijack my topic. It's for all to share and I certainly do feel your frustration/sadness at this disease and the fact that it makes having a child (in whatever way) so difficult. It just sucks. The more I read about adoption, the more I think it's not for us, either. Beyond the $$ factor, most people have written that we need to supply a doctor's note about my health/life expectancy. Since I am active on the tx list and would not adopt until post-tx I doubt any country/agency would accept my condition considering the life expectancy after 5 years of tx is only 50% for lungs (if I'm wrong, please tell me!!!).
It leaves us with the other option, IVF now, storing the embryos and then finding a surrogate post-tx (also very expensive). But iVF now could cause havoc on my already fragile body and I'm not sure if the docs will agree it. We've had a consultation, but the docs are moving cautiously.

There are no easy answers for any of us, but I remain hopeful that where there's a will there is a way.

p.s. thanks to the person who left the info on China...guess I'll have to remove that from our list...
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I'm sorry to hear about the decline with your health. I can imagine that getting approved for adoption would be much more difficult for you... I agree that IVF is probably not the best option for you with your condition what it is. And yes, surrogates carry a hefty price tag was well. I wish I had more advice for you.

I am on the other side of the fence as you. I am still thankfully mild. My FEV1 is currently 65%. When we started 1.5 years ago, it was around 79%. Back then, I was running 2-3 miles nearly everyday. I stopped a few months ago b/c I feared that maybe the workout was preventing me from conceiving. I'm not having problems or anything. My weight increased after I stopped running. Still I am so surprised that I haven't conceived by now. I have mild CF, no diabetes, good FEV1, good weight, regular cycles, and ovulate. Yet it doesn't happen. I NEVER thought I'd be in this boat. You hear about women who are/were never regular and concieved yet not the case for me. It blows my mind. That is why I am so disgusted and in shock. I think the shock was the worst for me. There are CF'ers with worse health than me and conceive quickly. I dont' get it!
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I'm sorry to hear about the decline with your health. I can imagine that getting approved for adoption would be much more difficult for you... I agree that IVF is probably not the best option for you with your condition what it is. And yes, surrogates carry a hefty price tag was well. I wish I had more advice for you.

I am on the other side of the fence as you. I am still thankfully mild. My FEV1 is currently 65%. When we started 1.5 years ago, it was around 79%. Back then, I was running 2-3 miles nearly everyday. I stopped a few months ago b/c I feared that maybe the workout was preventing me from conceiving. I'm not having problems or anything. My weight increased after I stopped running. Still I am so surprised that I haven't conceived by now. I have mild CF, no diabetes, good FEV1, good weight, regular cycles, and ovulate. Yet it doesn't happen. I NEVER thought I'd be in this boat. You hear about women who are/were never regular and concieved yet not the case for me. It blows my mind. That is why I am so disgusted and in shock. I think the shock was the worst for me. There are CF'ers with worse health than me and conceive quickly. I dont' get it!
 
J

Jennifer1981

New member
Shoshanna,

I'm sorry to hear about the decline with your health. I can imagine that getting approved for adoption would be much more difficult for you... I agree that IVF is probably not the best option for you with your condition what it is. And yes, surrogates carry a hefty price tag was well. I wish I had more advice for you.

I am on the other side of the fence as you. I am still thankfully mild. My FEV1 is currently 65%. When we started 1.5 years ago, it was around 79%. Back then, I was running 2-3 miles nearly everyday. I stopped a few months ago b/c I feared that maybe the workout was preventing me from conceiving. I'm not having problems or anything. My weight increased after I stopped running. Still I am so surprised that I haven't conceived by now. I have mild CF, no diabetes, good FEV1, good weight, regular cycles, and ovulate. Yet it doesn't happen. I NEVER thought I'd be in this boat. You hear about women who are/were never regular and concieved yet not the case for me. It blows my mind. That is why I am so disgusted and in shock. I think the shock was the worst for me. There are CF'ers with worse health than me and conceive quickly. I dont' get it!
 
E

EnergyGal

New member
Hi Shoshanna

Check out <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
">http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
</a>
She had a double lung transplant and adopted her first child after ten years. You can write to her at her website. She is a very nice lady. Very busy too<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
E

EnergyGal

New member
Hi Shoshanna

Check out <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
">http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
</a>
She had a double lung transplant and adopted her first child after ten years. You can write to her at her website. She is a very nice lady. Very busy too<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
E

EnergyGal

New member
Hi Shoshanna

Check out <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
">http://www.dottielessard-oconnor.com/home.html
</a>
She had a double lung transplant and adopted her first child after ten years. You can write to her at her website. She is a very nice lady. Very busy too<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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