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Have any adult CFers/tx patients on this site adopted a baby?

J

julie

New member
Surrogacy might not be "as" expensive as you think, I'm coinsidering being a surrogate for a family, for about $6000 including life/hospital indemnity insurance for the duration of the pregnancy and for 5 months afterwards. In the state of WA I cannot be financially compensated for being a surrogate, however, if we go through with this, the family has agreed to pay $6000 directly to our student loan account balance with sallie Mae, thus the $$ never touches our hands.

If you/your husband are not set on having your own biological child (and I understand either way, I really do), then you can always adopt embryos (this is fee, and usually you have to pay ONLY to have them tested, and the cost of transfering them to wherever you are living/your clinic) and have them implanted into a surrogate who would be willing to do it in a situation like I am.

We are not using an agency (too expensive) and I have reasons, other than financial (although it is a factor) for doing something like this.

maybe you could look into it. Just some ideas......
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Julie,

$6,000!!!!

We're in MA and the going rate to pay a surrogate is btw $15,000-$20,000
not including the money paid to her by us for doctor's bills, maternity clothes, her lawyers fees etc. Granted, this is through an agency and so if someone we know personally will do it, they may ask for less, but I don't know how much less.

Are you sure all you need is $6,000 and some insurance?

FYI: from a surrogacy agency website in MA:

The fee for the service of carrying and delivering the aspiring parent's biological baby is determined by you. Although being a surrogate is a priceless gift, most surrogates request - and most aspiring parents expect to compensate - $18,000 for a single birth and $23,000 for twins, in addition to expenses. Once you agree upon a fee with the aspiring parents, they will present a contract to you. (Note that the contract involves you and the aspiring parents - not NEEDS.) You will then meet with an attorney of your choice, paid for by the couple, who will review the contract with you and negotiate any changes before you sign.
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Julie,

$6,000!!!!

We're in MA and the going rate to pay a surrogate is btw $15,000-$20,000
not including the money paid to her by us for doctor's bills, maternity clothes, her lawyers fees etc. Granted, this is through an agency and so if someone we know personally will do it, they may ask for less, but I don't know how much less.

Are you sure all you need is $6,000 and some insurance?

FYI: from a surrogacy agency website in MA:

The fee for the service of carrying and delivering the aspiring parent's biological baby is determined by you. Although being a surrogate is a priceless gift, most surrogates request - and most aspiring parents expect to compensate - $18,000 for a single birth and $23,000 for twins, in addition to expenses. Once you agree upon a fee with the aspiring parents, they will present a contract to you. (Note that the contract involves you and the aspiring parents - not NEEDS.) You will then meet with an attorney of your choice, paid for by the couple, who will review the contract with you and negotiate any changes before you sign.
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
Julie,

$6,000!!!!

We're in MA and the going rate to pay a surrogate is btw $15,000-$20,000
not including the money paid to her by us for doctor's bills, maternity clothes, her lawyers fees etc. Granted, this is through an agency and so if someone we know personally will do it, they may ask for less, but I don't know how much less.

Are you sure all you need is $6,000 and some insurance?

FYI: from a surrogacy agency website in MA:

The fee for the service of carrying and delivering the aspiring parent's biological baby is determined by you. Although being a surrogate is a priceless gift, most surrogates request - and most aspiring parents expect to compensate - $18,000 for a single birth and $23,000 for twins, in addition to expenses. Once you agree upon a fee with the aspiring parents, they will present a contract to you. (Note that the contract involves you and the aspiring parents - not NEEDS.) You will then meet with an attorney of your choice, paid for by the couple, who will review the contract with you and negotiate any changes before you sign.
 
A

AnD

New member
We also had trouble conceiving- for 11 years. We started trying when we were 22 and then decided after several years of moving alot and then being settled that we would go to a infertility specialist. I also had good lung function (70% +), ovulated every month, weighed <i>plenty</i> etc. So after 2 years of trying and praying, we were about to give up, since we didn't want to go as far as trying IVF. Abigail is now 3<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">! Just the usual infertility treatments, combined with IUI (interuterine insemination) was what worked for us. It upped my fertility (which in my case probably had some age related problems) and got past the mucus plug that can be thick in cf's.

I'm just saying, don't give up before you really get started. There's lots of things out there for someone as young as you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .
 
A

AnD

New member
We also had trouble conceiving- for 11 years. We started trying when we were 22 and then decided after several years of moving alot and then being settled that we would go to a infertility specialist. I also had good lung function (70% +), ovulated every month, weighed <i>plenty</i> etc. So after 2 years of trying and praying, we were about to give up, since we didn't want to go as far as trying IVF. Abigail is now 3<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">! Just the usual infertility treatments, combined with IUI (interuterine insemination) was what worked for us. It upped my fertility (which in my case probably had some age related problems) and got past the mucus plug that can be thick in cf's.

I'm just saying, don't give up before you really get started. There's lots of things out there for someone as young as you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .
 
A

AnD

New member
We also had trouble conceiving- for 11 years. We started trying when we were 22 and then decided after several years of moving alot and then being settled that we would go to a infertility specialist. I also had good lung function (70% +), ovulated every month, weighed <i>plenty</i> etc. So after 2 years of trying and praying, we were about to give up, since we didn't want to go as far as trying IVF. Abigail is now 3<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">! Just the usual infertility treatments, combined with IUI (interuterine insemination) was what worked for us. It upped my fertility (which in my case probably had some age related problems) and got past the mucus plug that can be thick in cf's.

I'm just saying, don't give up before you really get started. There's lots of things out there for someone as young as you <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .
 
L

LouLou

New member
Jennifer, I worry about your mental health as I'm sure I would be quite fragile if I'd gone through what you have. I've said this before, but I'll say it again - it takes two to conceive. You and hubby should be checked out by an infertililty clinic - IVF aside - you might have a treatable problem with your reproductive organs. You might not have a problem at all. Maybe your husband has slow swimmers? All of these are simple tests that my doctor told me I should have done after TTC for 6 mo. I want you to have some answers.
 
L

LouLou

New member
Jennifer, I worry about your mental health as I'm sure I would be quite fragile if I'd gone through what you have. I've said this before, but I'll say it again - it takes two to conceive. You and hubby should be checked out by an infertililty clinic - IVF aside - you might have a treatable problem with your reproductive organs. You might not have a problem at all. Maybe your husband has slow swimmers? All of these are simple tests that my doctor told me I should have done after TTC for 6 mo. I want you to have some answers.
 
L

LouLou

New member
Jennifer, I worry about your mental health as I'm sure I would be quite fragile if I'd gone through what you have. I've said this before, but I'll say it again - it takes two to conceive. You and hubby should be checked out by an infertililty clinic - IVF aside - you might have a treatable problem with your reproductive organs. You might not have a problem at all. Maybe your husband has slow swimmers? All of these are simple tests that my doctor told me I should have done after TTC for 6 mo. I want you to have some answers.
 
J

julie

New member
Shoshanna,

Yes, I'm sure that's all I need <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. My military insurance, Tricare, does not prohibit surrogacy and will cover me and any pregnancy related medical expenses just as if it were my own baby (and in my opinion, it's really none of their business, it's MY body and the incurance covers ME and anything growing in ME). I'd also rather do this for another family while I'm active duty so that in case I do get put on bedrest, it won't put a financial burden on my family or theirs as they'd have to pay me for time lost from work.

They are (if we go through with it and all works out well) going to pay $6000 straight to the Sallie Mae, pay for Aflac indemnity insurance (if I get hospitalized, like I did with the triplets) and that's all. I don't need maternity clothes, I bought pleanty of them from goodwill when I was pregnant. In the state of WA compensation is not allowed, but conception will begin in Florida, so technically I can be compensated, but just to play it safe, I won't be touching the money. It will be an additional $2000 for twins, but nothing more than that.

We will be doing the transfer in Florida, and they will be flying the entire family (we will go a few days in advance to meet, then have a family vacation, then do the transfer) there as part of the contract, and paying for attorney fees to draw up a contract. This is their 2nd surrogacy, 3rd child. Their first surrogate is currently involved in another surrogacy during the time they want to get pregnant, so they went looking for another.

The 15-30K is generally though agencies, and they pocket a fair share for themselves. I don't think parenthood should be out of reach for anyone. We had help, a loan from a more than generous family member, that made our IVF possible at the time. And I am forever grateful and indebted to them for that gift. I know what it's like to WANT a child, and I'm in a position to help someone else who WANTS a child to get there, then why am I waiting?
 
J

julie

New member
Shoshanna,

Yes, I'm sure that's all I need <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. My military insurance, Tricare, does not prohibit surrogacy and will cover me and any pregnancy related medical expenses just as if it were my own baby (and in my opinion, it's really none of their business, it's MY body and the incurance covers ME and anything growing in ME). I'd also rather do this for another family while I'm active duty so that in case I do get put on bedrest, it won't put a financial burden on my family or theirs as they'd have to pay me for time lost from work.

They are (if we go through with it and all works out well) going to pay $6000 straight to the Sallie Mae, pay for Aflac indemnity insurance (if I get hospitalized, like I did with the triplets) and that's all. I don't need maternity clothes, I bought pleanty of them from goodwill when I was pregnant. In the state of WA compensation is not allowed, but conception will begin in Florida, so technically I can be compensated, but just to play it safe, I won't be touching the money. It will be an additional $2000 for twins, but nothing more than that.

We will be doing the transfer in Florida, and they will be flying the entire family (we will go a few days in advance to meet, then have a family vacation, then do the transfer) there as part of the contract, and paying for attorney fees to draw up a contract. This is their 2nd surrogacy, 3rd child. Their first surrogate is currently involved in another surrogacy during the time they want to get pregnant, so they went looking for another.

The 15-30K is generally though agencies, and they pocket a fair share for themselves. I don't think parenthood should be out of reach for anyone. We had help, a loan from a more than generous family member, that made our IVF possible at the time. And I am forever grateful and indebted to them for that gift. I know what it's like to WANT a child, and I'm in a position to help someone else who WANTS a child to get there, then why am I waiting?
 
J

julie

New member
Shoshanna,

Yes, I'm sure that's all I need <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. My military insurance, Tricare, does not prohibit surrogacy and will cover me and any pregnancy related medical expenses just as if it were my own baby (and in my opinion, it's really none of their business, it's MY body and the incurance covers ME and anything growing in ME). I'd also rather do this for another family while I'm active duty so that in case I do get put on bedrest, it won't put a financial burden on my family or theirs as they'd have to pay me for time lost from work.

They are (if we go through with it and all works out well) going to pay $6000 straight to the Sallie Mae, pay for Aflac indemnity insurance (if I get hospitalized, like I did with the triplets) and that's all. I don't need maternity clothes, I bought pleanty of them from goodwill when I was pregnant. In the state of WA compensation is not allowed, but conception will begin in Florida, so technically I can be compensated, but just to play it safe, I won't be touching the money. It will be an additional $2000 for twins, but nothing more than that.

We will be doing the transfer in Florida, and they will be flying the entire family (we will go a few days in advance to meet, then have a family vacation, then do the transfer) there as part of the contract, and paying for attorney fees to draw up a contract. This is their 2nd surrogacy, 3rd child. Their first surrogate is currently involved in another surrogacy during the time they want to get pregnant, so they went looking for another.

The 15-30K is generally though agencies, and they pocket a fair share for themselves. I don't think parenthood should be out of reach for anyone. We had help, a loan from a more than generous family member, that made our IVF possible at the time. And I am forever grateful and indebted to them for that gift. I know what it's like to WANT a child, and I'm in a position to help someone else who WANTS a child to get there, then why am I waiting?
 
H

Hannah

New member
Oh my gosh Julie!!!! I just wrote you an email but didnt know if the military read emails or what so can I write you about it?
 
H

Hannah

New member
Oh my gosh Julie!!!! I just wrote you an email but didnt know if the military read emails or what so can I write you about it?
 
H

Hannah

New member
Oh my gosh Julie!!!! I just wrote you an email but didnt know if the military read emails or what so can I write you about it?
 
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