Help me i am stupid

[anonymous]

I DO NOT have CF but my boyfriend does. (22/m/cf) I have only known him for a while, but i fell in love! I really wish I can understand CF better, but they do not have CF website for dummies. I want to help him but he doesn't like to talk about it. He keeps telling me he has the worst stage possable. What does that mean? He also gets really depressed, to the point of killing himself. I really hate that. Expecailly when he drinks, but i do not want to even ask him not to drink. What can i do to help! I really feel that we met for a reason, and i care so much for him. Does any one have any suggestions?Loving Girlfriend!

 

[Drea]

Hi,I do not have CF either but my child does. I belong to many CF lists. If you want to try http://groups.msn.com/CysticFibrosis2chat or http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/cfparents I can assure you that you will get a positive response from BOTH of these groups. You can even check out my site since it has some very basic CF stuff on it at http://groups.msn.com/TeamRachelJanePlease do not think that everyone here is like "someone" who is too lame to give a name.Andrea

 

[anonymous]

Loving Girlfriend,Obviously you can not take to heart some of the responses you get. It is not true that if your boyfriend has the worst possible case he would have been gone by the age of 22. They are working hard to find a cure and I donate all I can to help the CF Foundation. I think it is great that you fell in love with a good man. I don't have CF myself but my brother and sister do. I lived with it all my life. I can't tell you how they feel when they are sick or sore or even depressed. I do know I have had conversations with my little brother and I believe sometimes he has felt the way your boyfriend does. He drinks and smokes. What you need to to is support him. You need to talk to him if he will let you. How long have you and he been together? If it has not been a long time, he may not feel comfortable talking about it yet. Give it time. If you ever need to talk, this is one of the great places to go. The people here are some of the best friends you will ever find. I do not respond much, but I read EVERY day. I only respond when something or someone touches my heart. You are a great person. Alot of people get scared off when they find out the person they care about has a disease. I will tell you this, people with CF are strong people. Give him time. He'll come around. I will be praying for you both. Take care and God Bless.Kay 29 w/ocfsister 30 w/cfrdbrother 23 w/cf

 

[anonymous]

Hi Annie. He can't be the worst, because the worst die at much younger ages. But I understand the general idea. I'm almost 20, and have CF. It's very common to get depressed, I get like that a lot. Stupid as it is, I tried to kill myself once years ago, but then realized it was just about the most ridiculous thing ever. Your best bet is to be there for him and support him... and if you love him, sit him down and make sure he knows that. If he's not talking to you about the CF, he needs to know it won't make you love him less. At least in my own experience, when I haven't wanted to tell someone, it's because I thought they wouldn't like me anymore. Really, who wants a dying chick, right? That's just the point, you have to tell him you love him completely regardless of all else. And if you're looking for very basic CF info... try this page... http://www.cff.org/about_cf/what_is_cf.cfm?CFID=1626429&CFTOKEN=47443270Or email or IM me anytime. IM= AbsintheShiversEmail= AbsintheShivers@yahoo.com

 

[anonymous]

Dear loving girlfriend,My husband can totally relate to you. He and I met about 3 years ago and immediately fell in love. He has grown to know quite a lot about CF. He goes to all of my doctor appts. with me and asks lots of questions. I don't know how advanced your boyfriend is, but does he really have the worst stage possible or is he in denial. If he is out drinking, then obviously he is not that bad off! I would love to give you insight to this disease, as well as how to deal with your boyfriend. Please email me at jeffandalaina@yahoo.comLooking forward to hearing from you,Alaina

 

[anonymous]

loving girlfriend:just ask, we'll tell you everything there is to know <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> i've been explaining CF in simple words all of my life, to friends and lovers, i have a lot of experience <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> as, i'm sure, all of the people here.+lois

 

[anonymous]

Loving Girlfriend,I am new to the site and message board and I do not have CF myself. My best friend died from CF in October of 2003 so I do know about the disease and what it is like to love someone who has it. My advice to you is this: remember that he is a person too, treat him as normal as he will let you and don't remind him that he has a disease. If he doesn't talk a lot about it, it is likely that he doesn't want to think about it all the time. Also, talking about CF is a very difficult thing to do. My best friend hardly ever told people that she had it because she didn't want them to treat her differently. She wanted to live the most normal life that she possibly could and she didn't want those around her to feel sorry for her. Love him for who he is and when he is ready he will tell you all you need to know. It is common for people with CF to be depressed at times, it is difficult when you realize that you may or may not live as long as those people that you love. Just be there to support him when he's down, that's what he needs the most is your love and your support. He probably isn't looking for all the answers from you, just someone to be there and love him for all that he is.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks to every one who responded. With in this site i have been able to understand a lot more of his condition. And just to set your heart at ease i do not treat him any differant because of his condition. We go all the same things as my ex's and i have done in the past. I trully love him and i do plan on staying by his side for as long as he will allow me to. He is the most amazing person i have ever met, and i love him for that. Once again i want to thank you for everyone's help in my understanding!~~~~loving Girlfriend<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">