I thought it was only fair after all my blonde jokes : )
One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he
stepped into the laundry room, he shouted,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back,
" University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
"honey, what do you think the neighbors
would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money,"
she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...
you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent,
good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good
that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world
with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/
cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion
30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand
my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
One day my housework-challenged husband
decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he
stepped into the laundry room, he shouted,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back,
" University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
"honey, what do you think the neighbors
would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money,"
she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...
you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent,
good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good
that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world
with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/
cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion
30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand
my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"