Hubby Not Taking Care of Himself

Nervous1 · May 29, 2008

Very angry and need to vent.

My husband is in the progress of being diagnosed with kidney damage. He is overweight and does not exercise, and has high blood pressure. It took me several years to get him to go on medication to lower his blood pressure, which he has finally done. However, time and his life style have evidently taken their toll.

I work 10-12 hour days, we have several children, and I am forced to travel often for work. In addition I suffer much of the time from shortness of breath and/or chest discomfort + respiratory infections several times a year. Despite all of this I manage to exercise 4-5 times a week, unless I am feeling so bad that I can't function.

Why am I so angry? He doesn't work anywhere near as hard as me, he feels fine, and yet he does nothing to take care of his own health. The thought of him becoming ill terrifies me, not only because I love him and fear for him but because I feel like I just can't take on anything more.

I have discussed this with him. Last year for our anniversary he asked me what I want for a present. My answer was "go to the doctor and do whatever he says you should do." He did and that's when he finally started taking medication for the high blood pressure. He even exercised for a few months, but then stopped.

I'm just so frustrated. If I can do what I am doing to keep myself healthy (and it doesn't compare to what most of you have to do), why can't he get himself up off the couch and exercise a couple of times a week?!

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Nervous1 ~40 w/bronchiectasis & asthma

Nervous1 · May 29, 2008

Very angry and need to vent.

My husband is in the progress of being diagnosed with kidney damage. He is overweight and does not exercise, and has high blood pressure. It took me several years to get him to go on medication to lower his blood pressure, which he has finally done. However, time and his life style have evidently taken their toll.

I work 10-12 hour days, we have several children, and I am forced to travel often for work. In addition I suffer much of the time from shortness of breath and/or chest discomfort + respiratory infections several times a year. Despite all of this I manage to exercise 4-5 times a week, unless I am feeling so bad that I can't function.

Why am I so angry? He doesn't work anywhere near as hard as me, he feels fine, and yet he does nothing to take care of his own health. The thought of him becoming ill terrifies me, not only because I love him and fear for him but because I feel like I just can't take on anything more.

I have discussed this with him. Last year for our anniversary he asked me what I want for a present. My answer was "go to the doctor and do whatever he says you should do." He did and that's when he finally started taking medication for the high blood pressure. He even exercised for a few months, but then stopped.

I'm just so frustrated. If I can do what I am doing to keep myself healthy (and it doesn't compare to what most of you have to do), why can't he get himself up off the couch and exercise a couple of times a week?!

---------------------
Nervous1 ~40 w/bronchiectasis & asthma

Nervous1 · May 29, 2008

Very angry and need to vent.

My husband is in the progress of being diagnosed with kidney damage. He is overweight and does not exercise, and has high blood pressure. It took me several years to get him to go on medication to lower his blood pressure, which he has finally done. However, time and his life style have evidently taken their toll.

I work 10-12 hour days, we have several children, and I am forced to travel often for work. In addition I suffer much of the time from shortness of breath and/or chest discomfort + respiratory infections several times a year. Despite all of this I manage to exercise 4-5 times a week, unless I am feeling so bad that I can't function.

Why am I so angry? He doesn't work anywhere near as hard as me, he feels fine, and yet he does nothing to take care of his own health. The thought of him becoming ill terrifies me, not only because I love him and fear for him but because I feel like I just can't take on anything more.

I have discussed this with him. Last year for our anniversary he asked me what I want for a present. My answer was "go to the doctor and do whatever he says you should do." He did and that's when he finally started taking medication for the high blood pressure. He even exercised for a few months, but then stopped.

I'm just so frustrated. If I can do what I am doing to keep myself healthy (and it doesn't compare to what most of you have to do), why can't he get himself up off the couch and exercise a couple of times a week?!

---------------------
Nervous1 ~40 w/bronchiectasis & asthma

Nervous1 · May 29, 2008

Very angry and need to vent.

My husband is in the progress of being diagnosed with kidney damage. He is overweight and does not exercise, and has high blood pressure. It took me several years to get him to go on medication to lower his blood pressure, which he has finally done. However, time and his life style have evidently taken their toll.

I work 10-12 hour days, we have several children, and I am forced to travel often for work. In addition I suffer much of the time from shortness of breath and/or chest discomfort + respiratory infections several times a year. Despite all of this I manage to exercise 4-5 times a week, unless I am feeling so bad that I can't function.

Why am I so angry? He doesn't work anywhere near as hard as me, he feels fine, and yet he does nothing to take care of his own health. The thought of him becoming ill terrifies me, not only because I love him and fear for him but because I feel like I just can't take on anything more.

I have discussed this with him. Last year for our anniversary he asked me what I want for a present. My answer was "go to the doctor and do whatever he says you should do." He did and that's when he finally started taking medication for the high blood pressure. He even exercised for a few months, but then stopped.

I'm just so frustrated. If I can do what I am doing to keep myself healthy (and it doesn't compare to what most of you have to do), why can't he get himself up off the couch and exercise a couple of times a week?!

---------------------
Nervous1 ~40 w/bronchiectasis & asthma

Nervous1 · May 29, 2008

Very angry and need to vent.
 
 My husband is in the progress of being diagnosed with kidney damage. He is overweight and does not exercise, and has high blood pressure. It took me several years to get him to go on medication to lower his blood pressure, which he has finally done. However, time and his life style have evidently taken their toll.
 
 I work 10-12 hour days, we have several children, and I am forced to travel often for work. In addition I suffer much of the time from shortness of breath and/or chest discomfort + respiratory infections several times a year. Despite all of this I manage to exercise 4-5 times a week, unless I am feeling so bad that I can't function.
 
 Why am I so angry? He doesn't work anywhere near as hard as me, he feels fine, and yet he does nothing to take care of his own health. The thought of him becoming ill terrifies me, not only because I love him and fear for him but because I feel like I just can't take on anything more.
 
 I have discussed this with him. Last year for our anniversary he asked me what I want for a present. My answer was "go to the doctor and do whatever he says you should do." He did and that's when he finally started taking medication for the high blood pressure. He even exercised for a few months, but then stopped.
 
 I'm just so frustrated. If I can do what I am doing to keep myself healthy (and it doesn't compare to what most of you have to do), why can't he get himself up off the couch and exercise a couple of times a week?!
 
 ---------------------
 Nervous1 ~40 w/bronchiectasis & asthma

Asexyblond23 · May 29, 2008

First of (hug), second I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that worrying about him puts more stress on you. There is no way we can make someone do something, I learned that very well from my first husband but the best thing we can do is be there for support which it sounds like you are 100%. I hate to say it but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to have a wakeup call. That happens to me with my health. Im no councler by any means but I would say that you just keep sterssing to him how impoertant his health is for not only him but you and your kids and how much you love him and want him to be healthy. Its totally normal to vent and feel like your at a lost point sometimes, we all do.

Asexyblond23 · May 29, 2008

First of (hug), second I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that worrying about him puts more stress on you. There is no way we can make someone do something, I learned that very well from my first husband but the best thing we can do is be there for support which it sounds like you are 100%. I hate to say it but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to have a wakeup call. That happens to me with my health. Im no councler by any means but I would say that you just keep sterssing to him how impoertant his health is for not only him but you and your kids and how much you love him and want him to be healthy. Its totally normal to vent and feel like your at a lost point sometimes, we all do.

Asexyblond23 · May 29, 2008

First of (hug), second I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that worrying about him puts more stress on you. There is no way we can make someone do something, I learned that very well from my first husband but the best thing we can do is be there for support which it sounds like you are 100%. I hate to say it but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to have a wakeup call. That happens to me with my health. Im no councler by any means but I would say that you just keep sterssing to him how impoertant his health is for not only him but you and your kids and how much you love him and want him to be healthy. Its totally normal to vent and feel like your at a lost point sometimes, we all do.

Asexyblond23 · May 29, 2008

First of (hug), second I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that worrying about him puts more stress on you. There is no way we can make someone do something, I learned that very well from my first husband but the best thing we can do is be there for support which it sounds like you are 100%. I hate to say it but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to have a wakeup call. That happens to me with my health. Im no councler by any means but I would say that you just keep sterssing to him how impoertant his health is for not only him but you and your kids and how much you love him and want him to be healthy. Its totally normal to vent and feel like your at a lost point sometimes, we all do.

Asexyblond23 · May 29, 2008

First of (hug), second I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that worrying about him puts more stress on you. There is no way we can make someone do something, I learned that very well from my first husband but the best thing we can do is be there for support which it sounds like you are 100%. I hate to say it but sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to have a wakeup call. That happens to me with my health. Im no councler by any means but I would say that you just keep sterssing to him how impoertant his health is for not only him but you and your kids and how much you love him and want him to be healthy. Its totally normal to vent and feel like your at a lost point sometimes, we all do.

beleache · May 29, 2008