Hi Guys,
I was online for a few minutes and I just wanted to give you guys an update... FIrst of all, I am real sappy, and emotional.. when I read the posts from you guys for all your well wishes and prayers.. It means the world to me.
I am doing, much, much, better then I was.. I actually for the first time since Aug can pee on my own without having to straight cath myself.....!!!!!!!!.. I actually gave myself a standing ovation when I peed I was so excited..
My bowels are really stubborn..and I still have not gone to the bathroom or moved air..so I still can't have anything to eat or drink or anything.. I am not to hungry anyway... But I am walking like a mad women trying to get my intestines to talk.... they are being sleepy heads.. don't they know I got my job back in the ER.. and I have a lot to look forward to.. so they better snap out of it..
I had a really horrible first few days here as you know from my other post and I was talking to someone today and they said the same thing I keep asking myself?// Why Me???? WHY.. and I realized everything did go well with surgery so I am thrilled with that..
As if I wasn't before, but even more so now, I am totally commited to my patients.. I will be so sensitive to the things they are going through.. As I walk down the hallways, and I look at this people who don't have a department such as the emergency room to back them up like I do.. tears just come out of my eyes.. I wonder if they are thristy and need a drink.. I look at all the patients on vents to breath and wonder if they are scared like I was.. I wonder if they.. wish someone could hold their hand like I wanted. I was so afraid and so scared.. and I will find something good out of this.. though I am going to go forward, I am going to have to take care of the things that happen to me but I am determined not to be bitter about it.. I am determined to be a better nurse and more loving and more compasionate then I ever was...
Thanks for listening
Love and hugs to everyone
Jennifer