misplaced feelings???

[kelliemarie]

So I need some opinions on if my feelings are in check or not (please and thank you in advance). I am living somewhere away from family, in a new area where I am having trouble with my CF, and where I cannot find work for anything. To keep myself feeling accomplished and of worth, I started running. I have worked up to quite a few miles and was debating on running a 10 mile run. Three-four weeks before the race, I have started to cough up blood after running outside, so I decided it would not be a good idea to do the race, I was a little upset (lets face it quite a bit because that is the only thing I had to work toward currently) but what can ya do? So I find out my husband, who is not at all a runner, just up and decides to do the race knowing I wanted to and couldn't. I supported him and waited for him at the finish line and was happy for him, until all he kept saying is, " I am soo happy to finish that race, just to say I did it was amazing". I am afraid I sound like a complete jerk, but it hurts a lot because it is the one thing I was trying to be good at and do and I couldn't do he up and decides to do it and it feels like rub it in my face. Am I in the wrong?

 

[Gorf]

Not knowing your full relationship its hard to give you any sound advice. If you have always been competitive with your husband, he might not have thought anything about it. My advice is to talk to him about it. Nothing is served by keeping feelings to yourself, but what do I know, I am a male.

 

[kelliemarie]

Gorf, Thanks for the advice I really do appreciate it. It is hard because I am not competitive but I guess he is. I just wish he would let me be good at something for once and feel good about myself. It is just that much harder because I couldn't run cuz of my stupid CF, not because I do not have the will to do it. Oh, by the way, you being of the male species LOL you do know a lot

 

[Gorf]

I am glad to say it comes with age, I am 47 years old and married to a beautiful woman who loves me, would have to, to put up with all this stuff we CF'ers go through. If you ever want to talk, I have no problems giving out my FB page to you. This is my Christmas Lights page, hope it makes you smile. https://www.facebook.com/XmasLightingEngineer?ref=hl

 

[sroeseler]

you should talk to him about it, honesty and open communication are always best. you need to find something that you can do, something you enjoy, its good to have goals. my wife, started making cakes professionally and about a dozen other things that keep her busy. maybe you could do a similar race on a bike. pick something different, go rock climbing, become a professional geocacher. whatever you do I hope you find something that makes you happy. Keep your head, it brings hope to many of us to know people with cf are doing good

 

[4hats]

Kelliemarie, what makes you think that the bleeding was caused by the running? Did it happen just once or is it everytime after running? The bleeding could have been from something unrelated perhaps. It is great that you have the initiative to run.

 

[Iamqueenofeverything]

like gorf, i don't know who you two are so i am just wondering about somethings. how did your husband's tone come across. did he saw it in a way that he was amazed that he could do it or did he go on and on about what he did?
With sroeseler's advice, maybe you can ask him why he felt like he needed to run the race. did he want to "take over" and help you finish the race? was he encouraged to run the race because of you and your wanting to run?
if you want to continue, maybe you can try running distances in baby steps and work up your way to run the race. excerise does help the body so don't give up quite yet. ask your doc about the bleeding.
you can do anything you want to as long as your are not hurting you or anyone else.