Need advice urgently

[Hermit]

I understand your pain completely.

My younger brother would have probably been in the same state if he'd lived that long. (Not to scare you or anything, everybody's situation is different, remember)

I felt so hopeless watching him live day to day. He never showered, never brushed his teeth, his toenails were half an inch long and filthy. He was just totally incapable of even eating properly when he should have been. And here he was still living at home!!

Unfortunately he really started going downhill at 18, and at that point it was illegal for my parents or me to do anything without his consent. I felt so completely helpless, and in the end he passed away because of his own incompetence and inability to see reality and cope with it properly.

I'm so sorry you and your brother are going through this. I understand completely and if you ever need to talk, you can PM me.

Chris

 

[LisaV]

If he lives in new york you could report him for self-neglect to adult protective services ( <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/">http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/</a> ) . maybe that's choice in your state.

If his doctor thinks he is suicidal then you can get a court order to commit him to a psychiatric facility for evaulation, but if he knows the ropes he can get out in 3 datys.

don't expect much tho.

I'd skip the drink and learn to "let go and let God".
My late sister was a schizophrenic and times often got a bit crazy so I know that advice is easier to give than to take.

 

[LisaV]

If he lives in new york you could report him for self-neglect to adult protective services ( <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/">http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/</a> ) . maybe that's choice in your state.

If his doctor thinks he is suicidal then you can get a court order to commit him to a psychiatric facility for evaulation, but if he knows the ropes he can get out in 3 datys.

don't expect much tho.

I'd skip the drink and learn to "let go and let God".
My late sister was a schizophrenic and times often got a bit crazy so I know that advice is easier to give than to take.

 

[LisaV]

If he lives in new york you could report him for self-neglect to adult protective services ( <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/">http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/</a> ) . maybe that's choice in your state.

If his doctor thinks he is suicidal then you can get a court order to commit him to a psychiatric facility for evaulation, but if he knows the ropes he can get out in 3 datys.

don't expect much tho.

I'd skip the drink and learn to "let go and let God".
My late sister was a schizophrenic and times often got a bit crazy so I know that advice is easier to give than to take.

 

[65rosessamurai]

I had read somewhere in which depression can get to a point to where dementia will become a problem. I had found that somewhere when I was searching for a key word for "mental retentative disorder".
My MIL has a type of dementia, which has similarities to Alzheimer's, yet doesn't follow enough of the symptoms for a diagnosis. However, she seems to have similar symptoms to what you described your brother has having; constant lying, no showers/baths, never cleans, perhaps even sudden mood swings, as if there seems to be two other people inside his head.
Though the only question to ask is whether he is aware of the time, i.e. what the date, day, year, and as much as his own age.
That's one big question the MIL cannot answer, she doesn't seem to have any sense of time. She also doesn't remember what she did during the day, the week, etc, but can remember her childhood (though that might even be some concoction she had made up!)
If your brother is unable to be declared incompetent, then the next option might be to not leave him alone. Someone who can be responsible for him may have to live with him, or he may have to be checked up on frequently, like what Ratatosk (Liza) was suggesting about what was being done with her cousin.
My MIL case however, was that the wife and I had to move into her dad's house after he passed away, because the MIL was incompetent to live alone. However it is practically HELL living with the 'Terror-bear"!

Good luck, and what Liza (and most everyone else) suggested, please don't resort to drinking, there are better ways to deal with the situation. Besides, drinking will only cause harm to you, and we don't want to see that happen.

My thoughts and prayers to you,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

I had read somewhere in which depression can get to a point to where dementia will become a problem. I had found that somewhere when I was searching for a key word for "mental retentative disorder".
My MIL has a type of dementia, which has similarities to Alzheimer's, yet doesn't follow enough of the symptoms for a diagnosis. However, she seems to have similar symptoms to what you described your brother has having; constant lying, no showers/baths, never cleans, perhaps even sudden mood swings, as if there seems to be two other people inside his head.
Though the only question to ask is whether he is aware of the time, i.e. what the date, day, year, and as much as his own age.
That's one big question the MIL cannot answer, she doesn't seem to have any sense of time. She also doesn't remember what she did during the day, the week, etc, but can remember her childhood (though that might even be some concoction she had made up!)
If your brother is unable to be declared incompetent, then the next option might be to not leave him alone. Someone who can be responsible for him may have to live with him, or he may have to be checked up on frequently, like what Ratatosk (Liza) was suggesting about what was being done with her cousin.
My MIL case however, was that the wife and I had to move into her dad's house after he passed away, because the MIL was incompetent to live alone. However it is practically HELL living with the 'Terror-bear"!

Good luck, and what Liza (and most everyone else) suggested, please don't resort to drinking, there are better ways to deal with the situation. Besides, drinking will only cause harm to you, and we don't want to see that happen.

My thoughts and prayers to you,
Fred

 

[65rosessamurai]

I had read somewhere in which depression can get to a point to where dementia will become a problem. I had found that somewhere when I was searching for a key word for "mental retentative disorder".
My MIL has a type of dementia, which has similarities to Alzheimer's, yet doesn't follow enough of the symptoms for a diagnosis. However, she seems to have similar symptoms to what you described your brother has having; constant lying, no showers/baths, never cleans, perhaps even sudden mood swings, as if there seems to be two other people inside his head.
Though the only question to ask is whether he is aware of the time, i.e. what the date, day, year, and as much as his own age.
That's one big question the MIL cannot answer, she doesn't seem to have any sense of time. She also doesn't remember what she did during the day, the week, etc, but can remember her childhood (though that might even be some concoction she had made up!)
If your brother is unable to be declared incompetent, then the next option might be to not leave him alone. Someone who can be responsible for him may have to live with him, or he may have to be checked up on frequently, like what Ratatosk (Liza) was suggesting about what was being done with her cousin.
My MIL case however, was that the wife and I had to move into her dad's house after he passed away, because the MIL was incompetent to live alone. However it is practically HELL living with the 'Terror-bear"!

Good luck, and what Liza (and most everyone else) suggested, please don't resort to drinking, there are better ways to deal with the situation. Besides, drinking will only cause harm to you, and we don't want to see that happen.

My thoughts and prayers to you,
Fred

 

[NoExcuses]

you know what i do? i would call his landlord. no landlord wants their apartment in that situation. i doubt the next door neighbors are happy living next door to a place that has flies and feces all over it.

that should get the health department involved.... and hopefully they can do something with him.

 

[NoExcuses]

you know what i do? i would call his landlord. no landlord wants their apartment in that situation. i doubt the next door neighbors are happy living next door to a place that has flies and feces all over it.

that should get the health department involved.... and hopefully they can do something with him.

 

[NoExcuses]

you know what i do? i would call his landlord. no landlord wants their apartment in that situation. i doubt the next door neighbors are happy living next door to a place that has flies and feces all over it.

that should get the health department involved.... and hopefully they can do something with him.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I declared my younger brother incompitent about 1.5 years ago. I had to legally take over his rights, and make any medical decisions for him. The only reason I could do this was because I felt that he was a danger to himself, and that after asking him to see a doctor, etc about the mental problems he was having, he refused. Now this being said, once I took over his rights, I got him to a doctor, and it turned out he had Paranoia Schizophrenia. Here in Canada, the only legal way you can declare someone incompitent is if he/she is a danger to themselves and those around them.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I declared my younger brother incompitent about 1.5 years ago. I had to legally take over his rights, and make any medical decisions for him. The only reason I could do this was because I felt that he was a danger to himself, and that after asking him to see a doctor, etc about the mental problems he was having, he refused. Now this being said, once I took over his rights, I got him to a doctor, and it turned out he had Paranoia Schizophrenia. Here in Canada, the only legal way you can declare someone incompitent is if he/she is a danger to themselves and those around them.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I declared my younger brother incompitent about 1.5 years ago. I had to legally take over his rights, and make any medical decisions for him. The only reason I could do this was because I felt that he was a danger to himself, and that after asking him to see a doctor, etc about the mental problems he was having, he refused. Now this being said, once I took over his rights, I got him to a doctor, and it turned out he had Paranoia Schizophrenia. Here in Canada, the only legal way you can declare someone incompitent is if he/she is a danger to themselves and those around them.