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Need help from some writers

J

julie

New member
<i><b>Our Mission:
Disability Advocates for Cystic Fibrosis (DAFCF) is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3)
organization that provides free application and filing services for CF patients
seeking disability benefits.


Our Goals:
We provide Cystic Fibrosis patients with no cost assistance in filing for Social
Security Disability benefits, in appealing denied benefits and preparing for
Hearings regarding their benefits. </b></i>

I am attaching this to all medical records request, but I also want to add something tactfully that requests for either: 1. a reduction in the fees to copy/process medical records request or 2. to eliminate the charges altogether.

Can someone help me put together something that sounds educated, not too pushy and make them feel like they might consider doing such? Thanks
 
J

julie

New member
<i><b>Our Mission:
Disability Advocates for Cystic Fibrosis (DAFCF) is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3)
organization that provides free application and filing services for CF patients
seeking disability benefits.


Our Goals:
We provide Cystic Fibrosis patients with no cost assistance in filing for Social
Security Disability benefits, in appealing denied benefits and preparing for
Hearings regarding their benefits. </b></i>

I am attaching this to all medical records request, but I also want to add something tactfully that requests for either: 1. a reduction in the fees to copy/process medical records request or 2. to eliminate the charges altogether.

Can someone help me put together something that sounds educated, not too pushy and make them feel like they might consider doing such? Thanks
 
J

julie

New member
<i><b>Our Mission:
Disability Advocates for Cystic Fibrosis (DAFCF) is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3)
organization that provides free application and filing services for CF patients
seeking disability benefits.


Our Goals:
We provide Cystic Fibrosis patients with no cost assistance in filing for Social
Security Disability benefits, in appealing denied benefits and preparing for
Hearings regarding their benefits. </b></i>

I am attaching this to all medical records request, but I also want to add something tactfully that requests for either: 1. a reduction in the fees to copy/process medical records request or 2. to eliminate the charges altogether.

Can someone help me put together something that sounds educated, not too pushy and make them feel like they might consider doing such? Thanks
 
J

julie

New member
<i><b>Our Mission:
Disability Advocates for Cystic Fibrosis (DAFCF) is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3)
organization that provides free application and filing services for CF patients
seeking disability benefits.


Our Goals:
We provide Cystic Fibrosis patients with no cost assistance in filing for Social
Security Disability benefits, in appealing denied benefits and preparing for
Hearings regarding their benefits. </b></i>

I am attaching this to all medical records request, but I also want to add something tactfully that requests for either: 1. a reduction in the fees to copy/process medical records request or 2. to eliminate the charges altogether.

Can someone help me put together something that sounds educated, not too pushy and make them feel like they might consider doing such? Thanks
 
J

julie

New member
<i><b>Our Mission:
<br />Disability Advocates for Cystic Fibrosis (DAFCF) is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3)
<br />organization that provides free application and filing services for CF patients
<br />seeking disability benefits.
<br />
<br />
<br />Our Goals:
<br />We provide Cystic Fibrosis patients with no cost assistance in filing for Social
<br />Security Disability benefits, in appealing denied benefits and preparing for
<br />Hearings regarding their benefits. </b></i>
<br />
<br />I am attaching this to all medical records request, but I also want to add something tactfully that requests for either: 1. a reduction in the fees to copy/process medical records request or 2. to eliminate the charges altogether.
<br />
<br />Can someone help me put together something that sounds educated, not too pushy and make them feel like they might consider doing such? Thanks
<br />
<br />
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MicheleGazelle</b></i>

If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."</end quote></div>

Using Michele's idea/quote, how about something like:

<b>Our Organization:</b>
<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization so we wish you can donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt</b></i>

How's that for a start Julie and Michele?
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MicheleGazelle</b></i>

If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."</end quote></div>

Using Michele's idea/quote, how about something like:

<b>Our Organization:</b>
<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization so we wish you can donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt</b></i>

How's that for a start Julie and Michele?
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MicheleGazelle</b></i>

If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."</end quote></div>

Using Michele's idea/quote, how about something like:

<b>Our Organization:</b>
<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization so we wish you can donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt</b></i>

How's that for a start Julie and Michele?
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MicheleGazelle</b></i>

If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."</end quote>

Using Michele's idea/quote, how about something like:

<b>Our Organization:</b>
<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization so we wish you can donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt</b></i>

How's that for a start Julie and Michele?
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>MicheleGazelle</b></i>
<br />
<br />If it's potentially tax deductible, how about something like "Please consider donating all or part of the cost of these medical records and taking a tax write off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt."</end quote>
<br />
<br />Using Michele's idea/quote, how about something like:
<br />
<br /><b>Our Organization:</b>
<br /><i><b>We are a nonprofit organization so we wish you can donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt</b></i>
<br />
<br />How's that for a start Julie and Michele?
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
Definitely could stand to polish my initial suggestion but I don't like the word "wish" in yours. It sounds really weak to me.

Let's try this:

<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. So we ask that you donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt.</b></i>

Or:


<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. Please consider donating some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt for your tax records.</b></i>

(Please keep sentences short for business writing. I tend to write long, convoluted sentences. I get busted at work for doing it. It's too hard to follow. I have been told to aim at a 6th grade reading level for business correspondence. Keep It Simple and all that.)
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
Definitely could stand to polish my initial suggestion but I don't like the word "wish" in yours. It sounds really weak to me.

Let's try this:

<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. So we ask that you donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt.</b></i>

Or:


<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. Please consider donating some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt for your tax records.</b></i>

(Please keep sentences short for business writing. I tend to write long, convoluted sentences. I get busted at work for doing it. It's too hard to follow. I have been told to aim at a 6th grade reading level for business correspondence. Keep It Simple and all that.)
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
Definitely could stand to polish my initial suggestion but I don't like the word "wish" in yours. It sounds really weak to me.

Let's try this:

<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. So we ask that you donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt.</b></i>

Or:


<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. Please consider donating some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt for your tax records.</b></i>

(Please keep sentences short for business writing. I tend to write long, convoluted sentences. I get busted at work for doing it. It's too hard to follow. I have been told to aim at a 6th grade reading level for business correspondence. Keep It Simple and all that.)
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
Definitely could stand to polish my initial suggestion but I don't like the word "wish" in yours. It sounds really weak to me.

Let's try this:

<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. So we ask that you donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt.</b></i>

Or:


<i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. Please consider donating some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt for your tax records.</b></i>

(Please keep sentences short for business writing. I tend to write long, convoluted sentences. I get busted at work for doing it. It's too hard to follow. I have been told to aim at a 6th grade reading level for business correspondence. Keep It Simple and all that.)
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
<br />Definitely could stand to polish my initial suggestion but I don't like the word "wish" in yours. It sounds really weak to me.
<br />
<br />Let's try this:
<br />
<br /><i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. So we ask that you donate some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt.</b></i>
<br />
<br />Or:
<br />
<br />
<br /><i><b>We are a nonprofit organization. Please consider donating some or all of the costs of these medical records for a tax write-off. We will be happy to provide you with a receipt for your tax records.</b></i>
<br />
<br />(Please keep sentences short for business writing. I tend to write long, convoluted sentences. I get busted at work for doing it. It's too hard to follow. I have been told to aim at a 6th grade reading level for business correspondence. Keep It Simple and all that.)
 
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