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Not having kids

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paws

Guest
We considered IVF, but in the end, finally decided not to. DH was not comfortable with all the drugs I would have had to take and the risks. Like you, I always planned on having children and being a mom. I had never even considered it wouldn't happen. I'm sorry for your pain and the loss of your dream. I certainly can relate and defintely have good days and bad. ((((Hugs))))
 
P

paws

Guest
We considered IVF, but in the end, finally decided not to. DH was not comfortable with all the drugs I would have had to take and the risks. Like you, I always planned on having children and being a mom. I had never even considered it wouldn't happen. I'm sorry for your pain and the loss of your dream. I certainly can relate and defintely have good days and bad. ((((Hugs))))
 
P

paws

Guest
We considered IVF, but in the end, finally decided not to. DH was not comfortable with all the drugs I would have had to take and the risks. Like you, I always planned on having children and being a mom. I had never even considered it wouldn't happen. I'm sorry for your pain and the loss of your dream. I certainly can relate and defintely have good days and bad. ((((Hugs))))
 
P

paws

Guest
We considered IVF, but in the end, finally decided not to. DH was not comfortable with all the drugs I would have had to take and the risks. Like you, I always planned on having children and being a mom. I had never even considered it wouldn't happen. I'm sorry for your pain and the loss of your dream. I certainly can relate and defintely have good days and bad. ((((Hugs))))
 
P

paws

Guest
We considered IVF, but in the end, finally decided not to. DH was not comfortable with all the drugs I would have had to take and the risks. Like you, I always planned on having children and being a mom. I had never even considered it wouldn't happen. I'm sorry for your pain and the loss of your dream. I certainly can relate and defintely have good days and bad. ((((Hugs))))
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Wheezie

New member
I never really realized how many cf women even had children until coming to this site. I was told I couldn't have children, then I was told it was possible but would be very, very difficult to have children and then finally, I was told to use birth control until I was ready to start a family because it was just as easy for a cf woman to get pregnant as anyone else. I'm not so sure about it being easy, judging from many of the IVF stories I've read about here, but nevertheless, because I'd always been told it wasn't a great idea (or was impossible), I never planned on having children and I really thought I was fine with that decision.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I finally realized what everyone was talking about when they said they had that desire to be pregnant and be a mom - maybe it's hormones or the biological clock or who knows? But now that I actually DO want that for myself, it's too late, I'm too sick - even for adoption. I don't have the energy to care for a child - cf is all-consuming, and I could never half-a$$ the job of being a parent which is what I would have to do if I had a child at this point. I wouldn't be able to devote the energy and time to that child that I believe s/he would need and deserve.

Still, we can rationalize our choices all we want, but just as sitting and crying about it won't change anything and doesn't help, convincing ourselves we've made the right decision not to have children is not all that comforting either; it doesn't erase the fact that we have been robbed of yet another of life's great joys.

So no advice from me, Julie - wish I had some for sure. But you are not alone and sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
 

Wheezie

New member
I never really realized how many cf women even had children until coming to this site. I was told I couldn't have children, then I was told it was possible but would be very, very difficult to have children and then finally, I was told to use birth control until I was ready to start a family because it was just as easy for a cf woman to get pregnant as anyone else. I'm not so sure about it being easy, judging from many of the IVF stories I've read about here, but nevertheless, because I'd always been told it wasn't a great idea (or was impossible), I never planned on having children and I really thought I was fine with that decision.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I finally realized what everyone was talking about when they said they had that desire to be pregnant and be a mom - maybe it's hormones or the biological clock or who knows? But now that I actually DO want that for myself, it's too late, I'm too sick - even for adoption. I don't have the energy to care for a child - cf is all-consuming, and I could never half-a$$ the job of being a parent which is what I would have to do if I had a child at this point. I wouldn't be able to devote the energy and time to that child that I believe s/he would need and deserve.

Still, we can rationalize our choices all we want, but just as sitting and crying about it won't change anything and doesn't help, convincing ourselves we've made the right decision not to have children is not all that comforting either; it doesn't erase the fact that we have been robbed of yet another of life's great joys.

So no advice from me, Julie - wish I had some for sure. But you are not alone and sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
 

Wheezie

New member
I never really realized how many cf women even had children until coming to this site. I was told I couldn't have children, then I was told it was possible but would be very, very difficult to have children and then finally, I was told to use birth control until I was ready to start a family because it was just as easy for a cf woman to get pregnant as anyone else. I'm not so sure about it being easy, judging from many of the IVF stories I've read about here, but nevertheless, because I'd always been told it wasn't a great idea (or was impossible), I never planned on having children and I really thought I was fine with that decision.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I finally realized what everyone was talking about when they said they had that desire to be pregnant and be a mom - maybe it's hormones or the biological clock or who knows? But now that I actually DO want that for myself, it's too late, I'm too sick - even for adoption. I don't have the energy to care for a child - cf is all-consuming, and I could never half-a$$ the job of being a parent which is what I would have to do if I had a child at this point. I wouldn't be able to devote the energy and time to that child that I believe s/he would need and deserve.

Still, we can rationalize our choices all we want, but just as sitting and crying about it won't change anything and doesn't help, convincing ourselves we've made the right decision not to have children is not all that comforting either; it doesn't erase the fact that we have been robbed of yet another of life's great joys.

So no advice from me, Julie - wish I had some for sure. But you are not alone and sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
 

Wheezie

New member
I never really realized how many cf women even had children until coming to this site. I was told I couldn't have children, then I was told it was possible but would be very, very difficult to have children and then finally, I was told to use birth control until I was ready to start a family because it was just as easy for a cf woman to get pregnant as anyone else. I'm not so sure about it being easy, judging from many of the IVF stories I've read about here, but nevertheless, because I'd always been told it wasn't a great idea (or was impossible), I never planned on having children and I really thought I was fine with that decision.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I finally realized what everyone was talking about when they said they had that desire to be pregnant and be a mom - maybe it's hormones or the biological clock or who knows? But now that I actually DO want that for myself, it's too late, I'm too sick - even for adoption. I don't have the energy to care for a child - cf is all-consuming, and I could never half-a$$ the job of being a parent which is what I would have to do if I had a child at this point. I wouldn't be able to devote the energy and time to that child that I believe s/he would need and deserve.

Still, we can rationalize our choices all we want, but just as sitting and crying about it won't change anything and doesn't help, convincing ourselves we've made the right decision not to have children is not all that comforting either; it doesn't erase the fact that we have been robbed of yet another of life's great joys.

So no advice from me, Julie - wish I had some for sure. But you are not alone and sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
 

Wheezie

New member
I never really realized how many cf women even had children until coming to this site. I was told I couldn't have children, then I was told it was possible but would be very, very difficult to have children and then finally, I was told to use birth control until I was ready to start a family because it was just as easy for a cf woman to get pregnant as anyone else. I'm not so sure about it being easy, judging from many of the IVF stories I've read about here, but nevertheless, because I'd always been told it wasn't a great idea (or was impossible), I never planned on having children and I really thought I was fine with that decision.
<br />
<br />It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I finally realized what everyone was talking about when they said they had that desire to be pregnant and be a mom - maybe it's hormones or the biological clock or who knows? But now that I actually DO want that for myself, it's too late, I'm too sick - even for adoption. I don't have the energy to care for a child - cf is all-consuming, and I could never half-a$$ the job of being a parent which is what I would have to do if I had a child at this point. I wouldn't be able to devote the energy and time to that child that I believe s/he would need and deserve.
<br />
<br />Still, we can rationalize our choices all we want, but just as sitting and crying about it won't change anything and doesn't help, convincing ourselves we've made the right decision not to have children is not all that comforting either; it doesn't erase the fact that we have been robbed of yet another of life's great joys.
<br />
<br />So no advice from me, Julie - wish I had some for sure. But you are not alone and sometimes, just knowing that is enough.
<br />
 

kayleesgrandma

New member
I am so sorry Julie...It's not fair, not right, and a hard thing to finally come to grips with. As you can see--by the responses--you aren't alone in your decision. There are so many in our community that are either going through what you are, and have made the decision you have--or have made the decision to adopt. Irregardless--your pain, while shared by many, is just something that YOU can only personally feel and deal with. I can only tell you that I am sorry that this is ANOTHER thing that CF does too you...<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 

kayleesgrandma

New member
I am so sorry Julie...It's not fair, not right, and a hard thing to finally come to grips with. As you can see--by the responses--you aren't alone in your decision. There are so many in our community that are either going through what you are, and have made the decision you have--or have made the decision to adopt. Irregardless--your pain, while shared by many, is just something that YOU can only personally feel and deal with. I can only tell you that I am sorry that this is ANOTHER thing that CF does too you...<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 

kayleesgrandma

New member
I am so sorry Julie...It's not fair, not right, and a hard thing to finally come to grips with. As you can see--by the responses--you aren't alone in your decision. There are so many in our community that are either going through what you are, and have made the decision you have--or have made the decision to adopt. Irregardless--your pain, while shared by many, is just something that YOU can only personally feel and deal with. I can only tell you that I am sorry that this is ANOTHER thing that CF does too you...<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 

kayleesgrandma

New member
I am so sorry Julie...It's not fair, not right, and a hard thing to finally come to grips with. As you can see--by the responses--you aren't alone in your decision. There are so many in our community that are either going through what you are, and have made the decision you have--or have made the decision to adopt. Irregardless--your pain, while shared by many, is just something that YOU can only personally feel and deal with. I can only tell you that I am sorry that this is ANOTHER thing that CF does too you...<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 

kayleesgrandma

New member
I am so sorry Julie...It's not fair, not right, and a hard thing to finally come to grips with. As you can see--by the responses--you aren't alone in your decision. There are so many in our community that are either going through what you are, and have made the decision you have--or have made the decision to adopt. Irregardless--your pain, while shared by many, is just something that YOU can only personally feel and deal with. I can only tell you that I am sorry that this is ANOTHER thing that CF does too you...<img src="i/expressions/brokenheart.gif" border="0">
 

Spartan936

New member
I think lightNlife got it right.... Is there a reason that you MUST have children? I have a friend who says she won't be happy until she has kids. I told her she was crazy. The world is dangerously overpopulated as it is anyways. Get some dogs, they don't talk back <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

Spartan936

New member
I think lightNlife got it right.... Is there a reason that you MUST have children? I have a friend who says she won't be happy until she has kids. I told her she was crazy. The world is dangerously overpopulated as it is anyways. Get some dogs, they don't talk back <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

Spartan936

New member
I think lightNlife got it right.... Is there a reason that you MUST have children? I have a friend who says she won't be happy until she has kids. I told her she was crazy. The world is dangerously overpopulated as it is anyways. Get some dogs, they don't talk back <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

Spartan936

New member
I think lightNlife got it right.... Is there a reason that you MUST have children? I have a friend who says she won't be happy until she has kids. I told her she was crazy. The world is dangerously overpopulated as it is anyways. Get some dogs, they don't talk back <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 

Spartan936

New member
I think lightNlife got it right.... Is there a reason that you MUST have children? I have a friend who says she won't be happy until she has kids. I told her she was crazy. The world is dangerously overpopulated as it is anyways. Get some dogs, they don't talk back <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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