Out of motivation

[anonymous]

Hey All, i am a 18 year old f wcf. i have been relatively healthy my whole life, though lately i have been feeling pretty emotionally lousy anyway. I'm just feeling really nervous about life, and what the future holds for me. i am getting pretty sick and tired of all my meds, nebs and pep.... seems that it takes so much effort just to maintain my current health status. I live at home, but am basically self suffiecient, i do all my treatments on self iniatitive and cf is basically ignored within my household (probably because i have been so healthy all this time). Its as if by ignoring it it will be easier to deal with. Well, i'm starting to run out of motivation, its as if my entire world has ignored the fact that i have to deal with this disease on a daily basis. Plus, things are starting to get harder with all my friends starting to think about life plans of college, travel and families whilst cf just seems to prevent alot of this. Well, i know i shouldn't let it get in the way of anything, but it does make things much more complicated... and my life seems rushed, like i have to squeeze an entire life time into the next decade. I don't discuss this with my pals, i don't wanna distress them or anything, but it is upsetting me a bit. My doc said it was ridiculous i felt this way, coz i am so healthy, but that just made me guilty because i know how lucky i am compared to alot of other cf's. However- it does take alot of hard work to stay healthy and i'm sort of ready to give up, i mean, whats the point?. Look, i am sorry to ramble on in such a sorry state, but i just didn't know where else i could vent. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated, Thanks...Chloe

 

[anonymous]

Chloe - we have alllllllll been there - trust me on this.I'm 28 now, but when I was 18 - I got fed up and decided I was going to live as normal a life as possible because I was going to die young anyway - so I dropped all of my meds and lead what I thought was a normal life. Boy was I stupid - I know a lot of CFers go through this too. If I hadn't done that - I'd be a lot healthier today. Plus - what was I thinking a normal life was? By not taking my meds and giving up - I felt even worse. I was able to lead an absolutely normal life while on the meds (normal as in - school, extracurricular activities, social life, etc. -nevermind that I had to take breathing treatments during the day - they didn't take all that long). I went to college, started my career, got married - and you know what? A LOT of CFers do. And you know what else? Medicine gets better and better daily, the make strides everyday. Plus - lung transplants have gotten really good now and it's a window of hope. I know that if I do get so sick that I'm going to die, I can get a transplant and hopefully add another lifetime to my life!Everyone has something in their lives that they have to deal with. We have CF which is a major responsibility to deal with, but I'm sure your friends have problems too - maybe they have divorced parents to deal with, or an annoying sibling that they just can't get close to, or have a dying granparent...everyone has something. Some days, the fight is hard and it's difficult to see past it.But here is what you need to do - plan for tomorrow - it will make you live longer than if you tell yourself you are just going to die young. Plan for school, plan for work - and do it. Save your money - I am sure a lot of CFers have trouble with that one because we just live for each day and don't think about the fact that hey - we will live longer if we take care of ourselves and it'd sure be nice if we had money saved to buy that house when we're ready, or that car...So plan for tomorrow. Yes you're going to have days you just don't see the point of fighting anymore. But let me ask you - are there parts of your day you really enjoy? Are their parts of your life you really enjoy? Do you like to see your friends, go shopping, etc.? Well - by taking care of your health - which every person on this planet needs to do - you are allowing yourself to enjoy your life. So why give it all up? If you need to chat more - feel free to email me pmcp@comcast.nethang in there!piper

 

[anonymous]

Send me a message on AIM - DJN083. going through *exactly* the same thing, close to same age(I just turned 21) and i've even been told the exact same things as you. Think we may be able to help eachother a bit if for no other reason than identical situations, i've been trying to find someone similar in that regard for a while.

 

[anonymous]

ChloeI am 29 w/cf and went through something similar. When I was 24 I was having problems with my girlfriend and was not working full time and I did not want to talk too anyone. I stopped exercising for a while and that really hurt me, so I made changes in my life. I broke up with my girlfriend and found a new job that was full and started exercising again. Withing year I was back with my girlfriend and things are better now then they ever were, I bought a house and now we are getting married in August. This normal life that you want to have will not happen if you stop taking your meds. Don't concentrate so much on your friends lives, you have to take care of #1 that's you.Dave 29 w/cf