My hubby and I just had this talk this morning actually. From time to time we have to reevaluate how much I can do, what help I need, etc.
I come from this huge family with tons of moms in it. And I see the moms that are the most stressed either tend to be very disorganized with too much 'stuff', or they over-extend themselves with too many outings, activities, etc.
We all have that from time to time, but for myself if I let it get out of hand I just lose control of my life and mostly, my health. I have to stick to a schedule. Saying no to non-essential activities is big for me.
Lately the biggest help has been help with the house. I've had cleaners come in every 2-3 weeks. Having a 3 yr old, and being pregnant right now has been exhaustingggg! (there should be a new word for tired) So help with the house is huge. It costs us about $150 per cleaning-a team of 4 for 3 hours that does everything. However a cheaper alternative would be to hire a high school age girl thats responsible, or someone that you know that needs the extra cash. If you could work something down-like 1 hour of cleaning once a week for $40-50.
We have always had a special fund aside for times like this when I need extra help healthwise, till I get back on my feet.
The other thing I'm doing is only cooking 3-4 times a week, typically Mon, Wed, Fri and maybe once on the weekend or takeout. I make a big batch of something really yummy, double that I'd need. And we eat it for leftovers the next day. I spend less on groceries this way, plus its less cooking time, less dishes and kitchen cleaning. Of course I don't always want to eat leftovers but its a big help so you just deal with it.
Using paper plates and cups during the day is a huge help too believe it or not. We go through so many cups in one day. Much less dish time for me. The cheap ones are fine.
One thing I never let slide is my pt time. 9am-while daughter watches Tv for 1 hr. Then 4 pm and again she gets her 1 hr of tv. It works for us. When I'm really down, I let the house slide and we do takeout, or cereal, or pb&j. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
If hubby works long hours-(which mine does also)-remind him that you also work long hours <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">, and either every or every other Sat afternoon you get 2 hours to go out for alone time to recharge.
Get your nails done, or if you want to cut back just go sit in a Starbucks and read for 2 hours. It works miracles to have grownup time to recharge. Also, if he gets home from work at 8 say, he'll have his shower and then do dd's bath. Its only 20 mins, but its a huge help and special time for them.
I have alot of family very close by. The little things my mom and mil help with really add up, but I mostly only rely on them if I'm very sick. So I'd say if you try some suggestions and stick to schedule, and you still feel like its all too much you might have to think about a big life change. A move, or a back to school decision.
I try hard to remember that all moms feel this way. Non-cf moms with 'healthy' kids are all run down and tired. My older sister, a mom of 5 once said "you're going to be tired all the time for 20 years. thats the way it is, and you can sleep when they're grown up" Of course we don't have the luxury of running ourselves ragged bc we have special circumstances, but the principle of that statement is true.
Hugs. I know its hard. Give yourself some slack. Perfection is over-rated. <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">