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Cystic Fibrosis Forum (EXP)

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Question

anonymous

New member
I think that I did it so I wouldn't hear anyone talking about how I already had four kids and I didn't need any more. I'm starting to regret the whole thing.

Tara
 

anonymous

New member
No, but one of my children has it. Tell you the truth I didn't know what cf was until the doctors found out my son had it.

Tara
 

EnergyGal

New member
If I was younger I would probably want to have them tied just so I would not have to worry about pregnancy. I would want to do it now but I have had so much medical fixing *2 transplants* that I say enough of the fixing already.
 

anonymous

New member
I think I did it just to make everyone around me happy. I did'nt do it to keep from having a baby. Every time I got pregnant it was planned. My two oldest are 5 years apart without birth controls. Also I been with the same man for 13 years.

Tara
 

Scarlett81

New member
First off, though I do plan on having children, I do not advocate all cfers having them. I think its an individual thing based on the health of the mom. However, just to give my point of view, my mom really wanted me to have my tubes tied when I was about 18. I was going to do it b/c I was told I should never have kids. At the time though, my pfts weren't too high and the doc reccomended putting it off bc they were concerned about me catching pneumonia during the procedure. (i think that was back then and is no longer a worry today!)

So I didn't do it. Now I'm 24, my lungs have improved incredibly and I'm trying to get pregnant. Things change, feelings change, health changes too sometimes. Believe me, I never thought I'd have kids, ever. I am so grateful I didn't do the procedure! I would have regretted it so much.

But that's just me. You asked for opinions, so I was just giving my story. Maybe you know for sure, or are in another circumstance. Everyone is different.

Good luck with your decision.
 

becca23

New member
I had mine tied with my last baby, I do regret it sometimes because I wanted to have one more baby but it took us 6 years to have our second one, and I knew in six years I mostly likely could not do pregnancy again.
 

ladybug

New member
Tara,

I'm sorry you regret your decision and feel you did it for other people. I don't really know your story, but a friend of mine recently had hers tied after 3 kids in 4 years! She was a bit upset about it at first, but decided they could always adopt if they absolutely wanted more children. She just didn't want a larger family at the time, and their last 2 were unplanned. Perhaps this is an option for you if you want more children?
 

anonymous

New member
I, too, regretted mine. I don't have cf but have 3 kids and felt the risk was too great. I've since had a hysterectomy for other medical reasons. I'm sad my youngest is no longer a "baby" at 6 yrs but am content with the family I have. If we want more later, we've agreed we will adopt or do foster-adopt. Not likely though since hubby is over 40 and I'm fast approaching.
 

anonymous

New member
You know I thought about adoption but somestimes you want to experiece everything that come with the whole pregnancy. Believe me none of my pregnacy was easy I had 4 operations to have my children. But at the end it was all worth it. They say when your the only child you tend to have a big family and I guess that was my case. I always wanted my children to always have someone to play with and grow with at home. I didn't have that and I wish I did. Alot of my friends that have brothers and sisters said that they wish they were me and I say I wish they were me. Even through you have lots of cousins to play with it's not the same at the end of the day.

Tara
 

anonymous

New member
Good Luck with trying to have a baby<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. I would like to thank everyone else for your answers.<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Tara
 

Seana30

New member
I had my tubes tied 11 years ago after having my 3rd child.

I do not regret it as far as the never getting pregnant again thing. That part is GREAT.

I do regret it due to my health seeming to go downhill after having it done.

I started having terrible night sweats, low energy, mood swings, etc. I went back to the doc and they told me it was all in my head. Even when I was on Zoloft I still had the symptoms. 11 years later I still have them.

Seana
 

kandi

New member
Good Luck with trying to have a baby. I personally have 3 kids of my own. Me and my husband have been steadily together for the last 14 years. (I am 31). My oldest who has cf was born form my first marriage. That one lasted long enough for me to get married two months later get pregnant wise up and leave his immature tail. Me and my husband now have been together since i was 7 months pregnant. He was my first boyfriend and first love back when I was thirteen. Should have never broke up I reckon but we are together have been and still in love. He has raised my son as his own and even adopted him every since. My second son was unplanned ( i was only 19 and wasn't ready for the second yet). There are two years different from the boys. We tried several years later to have another baby and decided not too then the unexpected happened and I got pregnant with a little girl. There is 10 yrs between her and the oldest and 2 between her and my other son. It was when I was pregnant with her I found out about my son's cf. Getting pregnant 3 times on birth control and my son's diagonis led me to the decsion not to have no more kids and have my tubes tied. I don't regret it. I love my kids and I can financally support them fairly well. Nothing is easy when you have a child or are the person living with cf. Sorry for the long story.
 

Abby

New member
I had mine tied last year. Abby is our only child and the doctor tried to talk us out of it. Overall, I'm glad we went through with it although there are times when the baby urge hits. Probably true with everybody, tubes tied or not.

A lot of factors went into our decision, CF being a big part of it. I think we probably would have had another child had the risk of having another child with cf not been there. It seems that just when I thought maybe I could handle another child with cf, Abby would get sick and it would hit home that I couldn't put another child through what she has already endured.

Hopefully Abby will understand our decision someday and not resent us becasue she's an only child. She just asked me a few nights ago for a baby brother and I told her I didn't think she'd ever get one. "Are you sure?" she asked me. So far accepting the idea that this way she won't have to share mommy/daddy with somebody else.

Good luck with your decision.
 

Jennifer1981

New member
My husband and I are actively trying to conceive. However when I was 18, my parents (mostly mother) was dead set to have my tubes tied. Even though I had mild CF, 'she' felt there was too much risk if I ever tried in the future. I was 18 so she thought that she could make up my mind for me.

I heard every reason in the book. I started to believe I'd never be married, never own my own home, never live a 'normal' life. "Enjoy what you have". "Don't think about the future, live for now." She even encouraged my GYN doctor to say something to me regarding it - that was embrassing. But deep down, it didn't feel right. When I said "no", she was ticked and wouldn't speak to me for a while. I didn't care. I had to be comfortable with my own decision.

Today, I am happily married for 2.5 years, own my own home, and still have mild CF. My CF doctors approve of my decision to have my own child. If I would have ever listened to her, I would not be where I am today. I'd have nothing - not even self-esteem. Today our relationship is better, but I make the calls. She won't push me into anything if she knows what good for her.

I'm soooo glad I didn't just do it to make her and other family members happy!!! Also, in my opinion, should no teen be pushed to such a life-altering decision. Most teens, including myself at that time, can not possibly imagine the consequences for such permanent actions. As soon as I met my husband, everything I never thought I'd get came true. Everything I thought I couldn't have, I got. And everything that I thought was impossible, became possible.

Jenny 24 w/CF
 

Scarlett81

New member
That was a nice story, Jenny. It reminds me of my experience alot. Esp how you describe your relationship with your mother, and now the one with your husband. I enjoyed reading your thoughts.

I know my mother meant well, and was acting on fear. But I also strongly feel that a decision like that should be made in later adulthood. Not as a child, and even 18 in some is still a kid.

For some understandably its the best way. And I'm sure not having to worry about birth control is awesome.

Its just such a big decision.
 

EnergyGal

New member
What a great story Jenny. Mothers think they know best but most mothers are still kids themselves. That is such an encouragement to hear. I hope some of the teenages read your post.
 
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