questions about how you were raised

[Faust]

And just think...You guys think you need me being a tard in a thread to make it a tard thread lol.

 

[anonymous]

I think it's important to not judge one's parenting choices. One never knows what decision they would make until they are in that person's shoes. This is somehting I actually learned when i became a mom a a child with CF. I had preconceived notions of how children should be raised somehow having a child with cf made me realize; we only live once and perhaps to stop before judging.

I stay home with my 2 children one with Cf and one without. I had worked in the past but decided when i had my 2nd child I would like to experience what it';s like to be a stay-at home mom. I made this decision even before I knew Maggie had CF. Maggie has never been in day care. We do play-groups, ballet/tap, sing-along, playdates, sledding, this list exhausts me sometimes. Unfortunately, my daughter HAS multi-drug resistant staph. We do not know where she got it.. My guess is in the HOSPITAL. Someone probobly did not clean some stupid piece of equipment and this bacteria just loves Maggie. MY point is you may get more colds in daycare, but the really nasty bacteria is in the hospital. I'm saddened my daughter has this MRSA already! I do not keep her in a bubble.

Maggie will start nursey school this fall. She can't wait. I know she will pick up more cold/upper resp infections there but it's a choice I think Maggie would want me to make.

Rebecca(mom to sammy 7 no Cf and MAggie 3 with CF)

 

[Emily65Roses]

Yeah, really, the hospital is what you want to be most careful of. I have MRSA also. I played in the mud, swam everywhere, was friends with snotty-nosed kids... and I didn't get MRSA until I was 16. And you know where I got it? Working at a retirement home. Hah.

 

[ReneeP]

Holy Cow! I wish I didn't have to work so my children wouldn't have had to go to daycare <b>and</b> so I could stay home and keep up with all these posts!

It amazes me how some people think they have a God given right to judge how other people live their lives. I am so glad that is not my job! It would be too hard for me to live an absolutely perfect life so that I could judge others with complete confidence that I am doing everything right. But that's just me.

For those who were blessed to have had the good fortune of having a parent stay home with them while they were young (myself included), I think that we should be grateful for that and not take it for granted. Some people think that since they were raised that way, everyone should be. Unfortunately that's not a possibility. And it's even harder for those who absolutely have to provide health insurance for their children. What good would it be for us to be home with our CF kids but not be able to afford enzymes or dr appts, let alone something like Pulmozyme or TOBI? Where would our children be then? Would that be healthier?

As far as the "guilt" issue Amy pressed so hard on me for, I only felt guilty because people like her put that pressure on the rest of us who weren't so blessed. I was a homemaker for several years but was in an abusive marriage where I was being beaten. Once I finally made the <b>very difficult and scary </b>decision to leave my ex-husband, I had no choice but to go to work. And it's really sad that I had to feel guilty for that decision. Of course I could have stayed in my marriage and continued raising my children. I bet having my children see me get beaten would have been much healthier than putting them in daycare so I could go to work, right Amy?

And before you say that my situation is different, let me say that's a load of bull and an excuse for you to get out of being so rude. It doesn't matter what the situation is or whether it's a choice or not. You are only responsible for YOUR decisions, not anyone elses, so let us all make our own and keep your thoughts about OUR decisions to yourself.

 

[anonymous]

DH's cousin stays home with her kids, as she feels "daycares are germ factories". Seems as if her two boys are always sick. Maybe it's 'cuz they're just more suseptible to bugs. DH had zillions of ear infections and strep throat until he was 3 when they put tubes in his ears and yanked his nasty tonsils -- he stayed at home with his brother BTW and had an elderly neighbor lady watch them.

IMO, it's because if she wants to get them out of the house, she takes them to the indoor playground at the mall or to ones in fast food places. Or if she wants to go grocery shopping, she drops them off at one of those drop in day care places.

Who knows why some kids seem to get sicker than others. Luck or unluck of the draw.

Liza

 

[mcbrash]

I must say that when my son, Matt, was young I never stopped him from doing the normal things that every other child did. He was always with a group of friends on a daily basis and got into just about everything that they all did, including playing in dirt, taking off on bike trips, catching toads, wading in streams etc. etc. He had his fare share of being around others with colds and yes I did worry but just tried to do my best by teaching him as much as I could about hand washing etc.

I have to say that when my sons were younger, I also had them in day care. This lasted for a total of three weeks and decided this was not what I wanted for them. It really wasn't because of Matt perhaps picking up germs from the other kids but the fact that I wanted to be able to stay home and be with them as much as I could. I value the time that I spent being home with them as kids but also remember the times pulling my hair out at being with them 24/7 but I would not have changed it for the world.

I can also see today, that most parents have absolutely no choice in having to send their kids to day care. How many parents can survive on a one parent income anymore? I know I would not be able to manage if I were raising young ones today.

It seems to me that no one is right or wrong on this subject, you have to do what you have to do and that's all there is to it. Myself I preferred to stay home and never regretted it for one minute. When I did finally return to work I made sure that I chose a job where I would be there for them after school, this being the crucial time when trouble usually happens. Before school, they knew they had to get ready and get off to school, not much time to get into mischief, although from what I hear now there was still plenty of that going on and wasn't told until many years later.

Sandy

 

[Seana30]

.

 

[JennifersHope]

Before going into nursing, I was the director of a daycare center for years.

Daycare does have a lot of germs in it, that is a fact, however, most resistant bugs are not spread in children of that age, except for MRSA and staph on the SKIN.. not LUNGS...Mostly I have seen more viral infections, chicken pox, gastro infections, some strep throat, etc. In the 10 years I worked in daycare, I never once had a child with any resistant super bug other then strep.

It is hard to get rid of germs in daycare because kids pass it back and forth to each other, especially toddlers, putting everything in their mouth, coughing and sneezing in each other and my face. Mostly staff gets lazy and doesn't wash hands in between diaper changes etc. I was sick a lot when I worked in daycare, sicker with more normal bugs than I have now.

However, their is a lot of truth to kids buliding thier immune system in daycare and it gets that out of the way before starting public schools..

Kids up to 18 months still have passive immune for a lot of things that they aquired from their moms. so they already have some protection, except to viruses, where immunity is not something that happens.

Anyway, I don't think that ANYONE, has the right to judge anyone about what they do with their kid unless abuse is taking place. Amy you don't know Liza, you don't know she has a choice and I feel like it is unfair, especially being that you do not have children. You are not qualified being a sales person of any drug company to make any judgements on anyone. You are entitled to your beliefs, but that is based on your feelings not on the fact that you are qualified I work in a pediartic emergency room, I have learned a tremendous amount about pediatrics, drugs, drug resistance, and I still don't know near enough to be so judgemental.... and I pray I never come across that way. The day I think I know better then a loving parent is the day I need to retire.

I think their are a lot of benefits to daycare, kids get a sense of community, and also for toddlers, they are especially looking for Autonomy at this age.. and being in school can help them achieve that.

I am not trying to be rude in anyway so please I hope I am not misunderstood. I just have read a lot of Lizas post, and I know she is an amazing and loving mother.

Jennifer

 

[Ratatosk]

Maybe I was misunderstood with my comments about not being able to stay at home with DS 'cuz he's so busy. It's not like I'm sitting on my butt eating bon bons, while he's standing around in a full diaper and filthy onsie... Weekends and evenings we're always on the go -- building forts, putting together puzzles, coloring, reading books, going for walks, reinacting Toy Story....

When DS was diagnosed at birth with CF, I was terrified that he would have to stay at home, be that sickly child that nobody would play with, didn't have any friends. I didn't want him to be left out.

He loves his daycare -- we feel fortunate to have found such a wonderful place for him. The director has the children outside every day -- even in the winter, going for walks, playing on the playground, on field trips. They have organized preschool activities -- learn a new letter of the alphabet each week, do arts and crafts.

Hey my mom stayed home with us and I can remember constantly being told "hey, I'm not the entertainment committee". Sure she did arts and crafts stuff with us, baking, but I can remember walking with my older brother to school and wanting soooo much to go with him. I couldn't WAIT to go to school 'cuz quite frankly I was bored.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I love my child, but I also love him enough to know that we'd drive each other absolutely bonkers 24/7.

Liza

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[anonymous]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>amy</b></i>
How about that?
</end quote></div>


You go girl.

 

[wanderlost]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>amy</b></i>
And it is my right to advocate for these CF kids who are being put in situations that could make their health worse. And I wont' be intimidated, no matter how many people disagree with me, to continue to do so.</end quote></div>

You're right on a lot of points Amy, I think that:

1) you have a right to an opinion of Cf and daycare - but the opinion is that you don't believe in it. the end. Not I don't believe in it and if you do it I think this or that of you, because truly, you can know no one else's situation.

2) You can advocate and I think it's great that you care - but the main thing you said is that daycare COULD make their health worse - COULD, not that it WILL, and as most the daycare parents have told you, it DID NOT. So the CDC can staticticize all they want, the proof's in the puddin' right here

But I disagree that anyone is trying to intimidate you - you and your opinions aren't going to change any of us parents' right to do whatever we want with our own children, and as you have the right to say what you believe, so do we have the right to disagree and show you, based on our own experiences, why what you say is not right for us.

Last, and this isn't addressed specifically to you Amy, but I started this thread to simply ask how others were treated growing up with regards to their disease, and unfortunately, as can happen here, things are getting a bit nasty. I think it would be nice if we could turn the discussion back to the original prompt or let it die - but that's just my opinion, so hey...

 

[Seana30]

.

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[JennifersHope]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>amy</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>



You are not qualified being a sales person of any drug company to make any judgements on anyone.







Jennifer</end quote></div>



Where did I say that being a sales person qualified me to make judgements?



The only time I references my profession was when Emily asked for references on day care and MDR bugs.



If you're going to quote me, be accurate. That's all I ask <img src=""></end quote></div>

It is not a quote from you, it is your general overall pious attitude that led me to that statement. Not specifically anything you said word for word.

I do not wish to argue with you, or anyone, I am not sure why I even responded to this post, except that I have a real hard time keeping my mouth shut when I see someone come across the way you did. Maybe next time you can post in a less egocentric manner and stil get your point across, that you care about kids, and don't want to see them get sick.

Jennifer

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[NoExcuses]

.

 

[JennifersHope]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>amy[/b



If someone feels guilty because of what they're doing to their children, that's not because I made them feel guilty.... facts are facts. If facts make you feel guilty, then maybe the guilt is trying to tell you something...

CASE AND POINT ONE

PIOUS.WHO ARE YOU TO TELL A PARENT THAT IF THEY FEEL GUILTY IT IS BECAUSE THE GUILT IS TRYING TO TELL THEM SOMETHING



I didn't make up the fact. So if you feel guilty about the fact, that has nothing to do with me. Don't shoot the messenger, I think they say?

CASE AND POINT 2... DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER??? COMES ACROSS PIOUS.


If you want to give your kid the best chance of having a healthy life, the fact remains that day care isn't a good choice.

YOU ARE SAYING THAT WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST IS A FACT, AGAIN NO OFFENSE BUT PIOUS...AKA EGOCENTRIC.

I feel bad for the kid in day care. If i were that kid, I would hope that my mom would care enough to listen to the facts and keep me at home with her.

STATING THAT A MOM DOESN'T CARE ENOUGH TO STAY HOME WITH THEIR KID...AND THAT THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED WAS SO RIGHT.



And mom, if you're reading this - I love you <img src=""></end quote></div>


I AM REALLY NOT TRYING TO ARGUE, I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO RESPOND ANYMORE TO THIS POST..I don't know why I feel like it is my job to fix things because it certainly isn't

Jennifer