Since the Blogs started...

[JennifersHope]

HI,

I just wanted to share how I am feeling... Lately their is so much arguing going on, feels like thier is so much "side taking" and cliches formed.

I don't know if it has stemmed from the blogs, because certain people only read certain peoples blogs, then they become friends and kind of stick together..

I think it is good to have friends and special friends that you can talk to on here that you relate to better then others... but I noticed that this place feels more like highschool. you know when I went to highschool everybody was in a group. The burnouts, the preps, and the Jocks.. and even though we were all the same age, going through all the same different issues, everyone started talking bad about each other, and only accepted you in the group if you were like them.

I don't know if that is relevant or not, I am not great with words.. but I am trying to say... When I first started this reading on here, everyone stood together, yes their was disagreements, but, overall, everyone wanted to respect everyone and try to get along.

I see this board going down hill more and more each day. I see less support, unless it is on a private blog, and again just a certain group of people seem to support the same people in each blog.. I am not saying that it shouldn't be that way.. but everyone needs support and understanding..

Sean drives me nutso, he has turned many of my sincere questions into major jokes, but now to me, he is just part of this forum.. and when he makes me nuts I tell him and he usually responds well.

We all make each other nuts with some of our comments, but I hate how this board is becoming less supportive overall, and more just a few ppl to a few ppl.

DOn't get me wrong, for me personally, I am always supported by the majority of you guys and I am so grateful for that.. I really do care about you guys..

I hope you hear my heart in what I am saying, i just want the sense of community to be back...The blogs are starting to remind me of when I was a little kid, my brother and I used to play garage sale in our bedrooms. He would put his stuff out in his room to sell for me to "buy" and then I would put my toys out in my room to buy.. but he wouldn't buy my stuff if I didn't buy his... I feel that way with the blogs, if you go on someones blog and support them, they come on yours to support you..

I think I am going way off point.. just trying to say how I feel,

Jennife

 

[CowTown]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>JennifersHope</b></i>

.....so much "side taking" and cliches formed.
.....but I noticed that this place feels more like highschool.

I see this board going down hill more and more each day. I see less support, unless it is on a private blog, ...

The blogs are starting to remind me of when I was a little kid, ...

</end quote></div>



I completely agree. Feels a lot like high school and has turned into something very different than when I first started coming here. Personally I get an ugly, negative vibe most of the time now coming here. It turns me off, to the point where I don't care to contribute. So many people trying to prove themselves here now and using such an abrasive/aggressive approach towards others or to make points or to be heard. I'm personally so not interested anymore. That's just me, but I get where your thought is coming from.

 

[anonymous]

I kinda feel like that most of the people that talk are in their 20's and should probably go on the young adult section. I am 34 years old and deal with such different issues. It would be refreshing to talk with adults in the 30, 40 and 50's. And I am not saying in your 20's you are NOT an adult so please do not get all up in arms. I just am saying that my issues, concerns, daily life is soooo different than the 20 ish people.

Forgot to log in!

Giggles, Jennifer 34 with CF and CFRD

 

[CowTown]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>karenb</b></i>

I mean really. Didnt we create this?

How do we make it better?

</end quote></div>


Yes, "we" did.

Personally, I don't think it's possible to get this place back to where it was just a few months ago. Seems like a classic socio-psychological issue. Once people click-together, take sides, builds confidence in groups, then it's like one becomes 5, and the 1 that didn't turn into 5 is left or feels less than and there's no turning back the stuff that has been built. There's something to this whole concept. I'm no expert in this, but I've analyzed it a bit b/c people's behavior always seems to fascinate me. One person didn't equal 5 (for example) a few months ago, everyone was an individual and contributed on their own behalf. I don't think this forum can go back to where it was a few months ago since the people who have helped to create this new found feeling on this forum will continue as they have, and have every right to. It comes down to everyone else (me included) to accept how it is now or move on....leave and find a better (however you translate that word) place that jives with your energy and well being. On a whole this place isn't contributing to my well being anymore.

I'm starting to believe that the purpose of me finding this forum and reaching out for the first time to other CFers in the past few months, was to learn all that I have about supplements. Now that I've found what I was looking for, I think I'm done. Maybe down the road and this forum fits my needs again, I'll come back.

 

[Seana30]

.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Another problem is it's impossible to read everyone's blogs. So you gravitate towards the blogs of people you like best, or talk with most. It really would be insane to try and keep up with all of them, so I check a few regularly. If you don't know someone, there's no real desire in reading their blogs. Why read the rantings or thoughts of someone you know nothing about, you know?

As for being 20, there are a lot of things that are different from one person to another. (Mind you, I'm not insulted, just making a point). I see what you're saying, that you have different issues than us, being in your 30s... But everyone is going to have different issues over everything. I think everyone who wants to discuss god IN ANY RESPECT should go to the religious section to do it... do I tell them to? Nope. Not unless it's an immensely and solely religious discussion, in which case, it belongs there. Because some stuff is going to come up anywhere, whether you like it or not. So even though I may have things going on that don't relate to you at all, I'm sticking to the adult section.
Basically, in short, not everyone is going to relate to everything everyone else does.

 

[JennifersHope]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

. Why read the rantings or thoughts of someone you know nothing about, you know?



Hey Em,

I just wanted to add that the people that you got to know was because you randomly read their readings, and then got to know them.

I like the blogs, but I can't read them all either.. and I feel like I am missing out on getting to know people. That is just me though because I am a real people person.

Granted I have my own blog as well, but for me personally I have decided to slow it down a bit and post more on adult forums.. I love the freedom that I see a lot of people getting in their blogs and I think it is awesome.

I know disagreements are always going to take place. EMILY if you ever thought of not posting on here I would shoot you, I just think the blogs take away the sense of community....

Just how I feel, I still read a handful of blogs and try to read more of them when I have time..

The only overall feeling I was trying to say was that I miss the really strong sense of family we had.. I still have my friends on here . though I hardly talk to you or Allie anymore, I know we are friends, and are there for each other, as well as the rest of my friends...

I just got a PM that someone was leaving this site, I feel bad about that because to me, we are all key and vital parts of this place.


and of course me being me, I get a great deal of comfort and support from this site and I want to keep it that way.. I want everyone here......

Jennifer

 

[Allie]

I must be the only one who likes the blogs.

Before they came around, I felt like an outsuider looking in most of the time, like I didn't belong here and had little to contribute. I actually had someone (who is no longer with the site) Tell me I should leave, because Ry was dead.

Now, I can say exactly what I'm thinking, I don't have stick to giving advice on little subjects to try and eke out a place here. People can choose tio read me, or not. I have never felt more accepted here since I got my blog.

I must be the only one *shrug*

 

[thelizardqueen]

I love the blogs, and I don't think they have to do with people going off topic in threads, or people being nasty to each other. I agree 100% that its like high school all over again here - and I find that very annoying. I don't come on here to necessarily makes friends, but to get advice and opinions regarding my day to day CF life, or whatever other CF health problem I'm having. I'm here to give advice to people who have CF problems, etc. That being said - its a guarantee that not all of us will have the same opinions, and we may disagree with people, but that's the whole point of a forum - groups of all different types getting together to talk about one thing or several things. Why can't some of us just suck it up and realize that yes, they don't agree with someone's sense of humour, or may not like what someone has to say, but move along. Don't add fuel to fire.

The blogs give me a chance to say what's on my mind without insulting anyone, and I know that I should be able to do that on the boards, but we all know that's not the case. That's very sad when we have to censor our feelings because someone may be insulted by our point of view.

 

[2005CFmom]

Personally, I like the blogs. I post things in there that I would never post on the forum topics. I don't have time to read up on all of the blogs (we all have our favorites!) but when someone posts something that I really like, I check to see if they have a blog to see if I can learn more about them.

 

[catboogie]

people have a choice as to posting on the main site or in their blog--they cannot possibly expect as much support or feedback if they choose to put it on their site. that is an individual choice.

i really have no idea what you are talking about the clicks. i am certainly open to new peope coming to my site or the main site.

one really good thing about the blogs is the level of honesty it brings. rightfully so, a lot of people don't put 100% what they think on the main posts because there is usually an intention to be polite and not offend, and for goodness sakes be G-rated!

i guess what i am saying is i don't think it's fair to "blame" the blogs.

laura

 

[JennifersHope]

Laura, I think you are missing the point I am trying to make. I don't think anyone is saying they expect more support in their blog.. I know that isn't what I am saying.. What I am saying is. although I like the blogs and enjoy reading the freedom, myself included are enjoying in writing on them, I miss the unified sense of community that I felt..when we all just shared on the the forums..

I don't have an answer to it, just saying how I feel and that I miss it...I don't think you will ever hear me say, I am not supported on here, that I don't love this forum or the fact that people have their own blogs.. In fact, I have a lot of people that are in my life that read these blogs, but don't post, (people from my class at school as well as very close people to me and they are always amazed at how much love and support I get on here)

I am not bashing anyone or anything.. Allie, i think you know that I have even posted on your blog about how awesome I think it is that you have a blog, and to even write a book.

ALL I WAS AND AM SAYING IS THAT I MISS THE SENSE OF COMMUNITY THAT I FELT BEFORE...I am not asking anyone to change anything or do something different.. I was sharing a sadness that I feel with you guys that is all.

 

[Scarlett81]

To be honest-I haven't spent much time visiting blogs. But, I haven't noticed that they are causing any more fighting.

However-I'm very glad you brought this topic up b/c for a while I've been thinking the same thing as far as the blogs taking away from the site. Don't get me wrong, I've read some very moving and valuable things on the blogs. But I feel that less people come here to talk or to comment on people's posts since the blogs have been here. And that kinda stinks. I've noticed personally less and less comments- like advice if I need it.

I do miss the sense of community too.

As far as getting along-I think we're human beings and inheritly we will never all get along. It's like in elementary school when you wanted to be friends with a certian kid-but they just didn't want to. Your mom told you-not everyone's going to like you.

But-this isn't elementary school. We're adults. And I think the biggest thing in dealing with others is tolerance. There are differing opinions, but if we try to always look at what good qualities we see in someone-it makes it easy to let go. Like me and Amy had an argument a while back-we had it, let it go. And I've come to see some amazing qualities in her since then-her love for her family, her work for CF. And Sean gets under my skin-and I probably get on his nerves too-but I still see how much knowledge he has of natural therapies, how much he's tried to help others, and he's our official court jester.

So maybe we all just need to try to tolerate each other more.

 

[littledebbie]

I would like to say I really like the blogs and I find them highly
important in helping me get to know MORE people, not stuck in a
clique.  <br>
<br>
In more than one instance when some ones comment has bugged me in a
thread i have checked to see if they had a Blog and I can think of
3 people off the top off my head who did.  In reading their
Blog I got instant insight into their perspective and possibly why
their comment would be the way it was it ended up actually leading
to understanding instead of strife.  I think the bogs are a
very nice addition.  <br>
<br>
Also I for one do try to usually be G rated here and respectful of
others opinions (I said I "try" not always succeed) and I
can say I would be uncomfortable posting some things in the forum
because I Don't want them up for Public ridicule where i would feel
it necessary to defend all my thoughts.  <br>
<br>
Also I think the cliques were here before the blogs.  I
haven't been here that long but I was here before the blogs and I
could immediately tell their were a few people who were
friends....and what really is soo wrong with that anyway?
 <br>
 

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>
I actually had someone (who is no longer with the site) Tell me I should leave, because Ry was dead. </end quote></div>

Wow, just had to say... that's fantastic. I wish I was as cool as that person.

 

[thelizardqueen]

Harsh man...harsh.

<b>Edited to add: </b>by harsh I meant harsh in what that person said to Allie about Ry - not Emily's comment.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[AttyMom]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

I actually had someone (who is no longer with the site) Tell me I should leave, because Ry was dead. </end quote></div>



Wow, just had to say... that's fantastic. I wish I was as cool as that person.</end quote></div>

Not sure I quite understand what you mean, Em? I know you're friendly with Allie, but I think your quote might be misinterpreted to be otherwise...

 

[Emily65Roses]

Ah well I figured the "I wish I was cool as that person" might get the point across.

But in the case where my tone doesn't come through, I was basically saying it's ridiculous, and that person sucks major butt.

 

[Allie]

She's being VERY sarcastic, I know her enough to know that, but for anyone else, trust me, she is.

 

[AttyMom]

I was pretty sure it was a sarcastic comment...but with the very sensitive nature of some on this site (*present company excluded*) I thought it was best to have clarified! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">