I was wondering today about why some people can handle sticking around to be a spouse of a CFer and other significant others leave before the going gets tough. Do you think having past experience with health related issues and the person who stays in the relationship with a CFer go hand in hand?
Those of you who have married a CFer or are in a relationship with someone who has it, maybe you could help me out on these thoughts.
I wonder if the people who stick around either:
1.
At some point in their lives have been exposed to someone else's health issues and don't feel so alarmed by CF because of it. They might see CF as just another illness to deal with, like cancer, heart trouble, MS, etc, and see right past it when it comes to caring and loving that person. Do they have to have had some experience with health-related stuff in the past to feel they can handle this?
2.
Or, they haven't delt with any illnesses or health related stuff in the past but are fine with marrying a CFer because maybe they don't fully grasp the terminal part and keep going without the full acceptance of potential heart ache? Maybe it's about not grasping it until they find they are so inlove and there's no backing out.
3.
Or.....?
I realize a few people on this site have mentioned that their spouse or significant other sees it as wanting to be with that person for as long as there is, whether long or short and it's not about the length of time, it's all about the love. This is also how my husband has phrased it to me, in different words but, I am just curious about what goes through some other people's minds about whether you stay or can you not handle it.
I dated a guy for a couple of weeks a long time ago and was confused by his outlook. He told me straight out that my illness was way too heavy to deal with in a relaitonship and he just wanted to be friends. Friends we remained, but the thing was that he had a newly diagnosed disease that he was just starting to deal with himself and his mother became diagnosed with cancer later that year. He had never dealt with sickness before that point. I wonder if someone like him, would become more comfortable with dating someone with CF, only once he experiences more health related things. Maybe they have to see that the label alone "CF", is more than just a label. Maybe they don't know that there can still be a ton of incredibly good times and only hear "disease" and know it will kill you. What do you think?
My husband on the other hand, is there for me all the way and has been since we first met. He grew up with his father having heart issues, diabetes and they visited him often in the hospital, and then passed away while he was in college. Maybe he was more prepared for me because of his past experiences. Do these go hand in hand?
Any thoughts?
Edited: boy that was long....I edited it down a tiny bit anyways.
Those of you who have married a CFer or are in a relationship with someone who has it, maybe you could help me out on these thoughts.
I wonder if the people who stick around either:
1.
At some point in their lives have been exposed to someone else's health issues and don't feel so alarmed by CF because of it. They might see CF as just another illness to deal with, like cancer, heart trouble, MS, etc, and see right past it when it comes to caring and loving that person. Do they have to have had some experience with health-related stuff in the past to feel they can handle this?
2.
Or, they haven't delt with any illnesses or health related stuff in the past but are fine with marrying a CFer because maybe they don't fully grasp the terminal part and keep going without the full acceptance of potential heart ache? Maybe it's about not grasping it until they find they are so inlove and there's no backing out.
3.
Or.....?
I realize a few people on this site have mentioned that their spouse or significant other sees it as wanting to be with that person for as long as there is, whether long or short and it's not about the length of time, it's all about the love. This is also how my husband has phrased it to me, in different words but, I am just curious about what goes through some other people's minds about whether you stay or can you not handle it.
I dated a guy for a couple of weeks a long time ago and was confused by his outlook. He told me straight out that my illness was way too heavy to deal with in a relaitonship and he just wanted to be friends. Friends we remained, but the thing was that he had a newly diagnosed disease that he was just starting to deal with himself and his mother became diagnosed with cancer later that year. He had never dealt with sickness before that point. I wonder if someone like him, would become more comfortable with dating someone with CF, only once he experiences more health related things. Maybe they have to see that the label alone "CF", is more than just a label. Maybe they don't know that there can still be a ton of incredibly good times and only hear "disease" and know it will kill you. What do you think?
My husband on the other hand, is there for me all the way and has been since we first met. He grew up with his father having heart issues, diabetes and they visited him often in the hospital, and then passed away while he was in college. Maybe he was more prepared for me because of his past experiences. Do these go hand in hand?
Any thoughts?
Edited: boy that was long....I edited it down a tiny bit anyways.