Ups and Downs

[thefrogprincess]

I never, NEVER though I would be seriously considering antidepressants but I don't know what else to do other than get really drunk every night. I can't even be happy that today my PFTs held steady at 58%. The last two times I went to clinic I had to do a course of oral antibiotics and TOBI. I have never had to do two courses in less than a years time before.

Brian told me today that he spoke with his doctor and that he can expect to experience extreme fatigue for 6 to 8 months post-op! That means at the soonest he'll get back to normal by September! I really feel like our life together is on pause. We're stuck in this time warp never going anywhere. I think we're missing a lot. We hardly ever go out because he's too tired. Today was the warmest day of the year so far and he didn't even want to go for a walk with me or go get ice cream. I think I'll see if the girls want to go out on Friday or Saturday just so I can get out of the house.

 

[Faust]

Since we are being open, and i'm far from perfect (I have a ton of my own issues)...If I remember right (because I remember the sex thread, and I remember the name brian)...


In all seriousness (and I don't know crap other than what you post)...You have said (due to lack of sex) on this issue, "I fear I might be falling out of love with him. Well, wait, excuse me, didn't he just get diagnosed with cancer a while back, and had surgery, and have a decent sized organ removed (I could be wrong, but I thought he of course had surgery, and had something organ wise removed...)?


Do you even really love this guy? My relationship between my other half and myself has gone through TONS of peaks and valleys, in many MANY different ways. But she would never leave me, and i'd never leave her. We deal with the issues that present themselves, and do our best to try and rectify whatever problems are there, that need to be corrected.

There is info about me and her that would make some cringe, but you know what? Through it all, she is my other half, and I am her other half. She is my most important thing in life, and I am hers in the same way. Once you meet that extremely rare special person, stay with them, and do everything you can to make things better. Because the chances of running into someone even remotely like that again, is beyond rare.

I stayed with her, with her freaky mental/anger issues, I stuck with her even when it came down to "Your family or her", she has stuck with me through all my CF bs, and we have stuck with each other through our sex issues...You know why?

Because I feel, that if I lived 100 more lives, I wouldn't be lucky enough to find her like I did in this life, regardless how I looked, regardless how rich I was, or regardless anything else...

It took me till my 27th or 28th (forgive me for not remembering, remember I am a guy) year to find her, I am *NEVER* letting go of her, regardless how rough it gets for me or her, and I know she feels the same way.

Ever see the movie "What dreams may come"? I am exactly about her, how Robin Williams was towards her in that movie. Even if it means I will have an eternity of mental torture if I choose to stay with her in hell, atleast I will be near her in hell, and not around her in heaven.


Sorry I'm seriously not judging you girl, and I have no idea what your lives are like together...But seriously, the dude just had major surgery (cancer, organ removed?) not long ago...And after that, of a non sex period of time, you are all "I am fearful of falling out of love with him!"...?

If the physical is so important to you, even in his time of need, go buy a really great vibrator for 80 bucks and go crazy with yourself...At the end of the day, your man is still the same man, even if he has gone through hell...Take care of what you need to take care of, and come to someone who (I guess) you REALLY love, and don't give up.

 

[LouLou]

only since you asked...
antidepressants and religion/faith feedings sound like a good idea for you. do go out with friends and continue life outside of Brian so that you are full of life and positive when you are around him.
just remember there might be a day one day for you that you won't feel up for doing much due to your CF and he'll stick by your side as true love endures. He'll always remember how good you were at this difficult time... if your heart isn't there then you're not doing him any favors staying with him. If it's a communication issue - talk to him and take care of yourself sexually until he can manually and then sexually when he's ready for it.

like sean said we're all far from perfect but I only hope that everyone can find the true love they deserve in life.

 

[skh]

Since I don't know what your personal life is like it's very hard to give advice. I can say that I agree with what Sean posted above.

My husband and I will be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary this summer and were together 3 yrs. prior to that. In that time we have experienced many ups and downs. Our life together is not based on any one thing, so not having sex wouldn't kill our relationship. It is a way for us to express our love for each other but there are many other ways...like being there for the other when times are tough. We compliment each other - like when he's a little insane I'm the sane one and vice versa.

I'm not judging so please don't think that I am. I can only say how it is for myself and my husband.

I hope you get things worked out in your life so that you can move ahead.