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"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of...

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, and my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack, & our neighbor ran away.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95 Shopping Barbie...

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a grin. These great questions and answers are from the days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking...

> A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and as he is > stumbling back and forth, a cop on the beat sees him and approaches > "Can I help you > sir?", the officer asks politely. > > "Yessh! Ossifer, sssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. > > The cop asks, "Well, where was...

Boudreaux was sitting in the back row at the revival. When the minister finished his sermon, he invited anyone that needed a special prayer to come forward. Boudreaux got in line and when his turn came, the minister asked him what he needed a prayer for. Boudreaux stated that he needed a...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far away town so that they can breed their own...

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "W e were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their...

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic It died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

Did you hear about the......... Baptist Cowboy? > >A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Montana , walks in to a >bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking >a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the >bar and orders three more...

Wondering if anyone has heard any updates about the expanded access program for Aztreonam? My clinic is still waiting to here from them.

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife...

since my first joke was a repeat. One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent him to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are...

THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS >>GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. >> >>THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. >> >>SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT >>SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT...

THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS >>GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. >> >>THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. >> >>SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT >>SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT...

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one > > battle, the French captured an English colonel. They took him to their > > headquarters, and the French general began to question him. > > > > Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked, "Why do you > > English...

Fifteen reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5...

Lost at Sea, two Derry men, Patrick and Michael, were adrift in a > >> lifeboat > >> following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. > >> > >> While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled > >> across an > >> old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he...

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." he father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it...