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A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing...

Just picked up this new mobileaire compressor at clinic today, does treatments at 30 PSI uses regular Pari nebs, is supposed to be faster, create a smaller particle size and get meds deeper into the lungs, hmmm where have I heard that before. If anyone else has one I'd like to hear your...

>>Ed was in trouble. He forgot Valentine's Day . >> >>His wife was really angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning I expect to >>find >>a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, and >>it better be there!!! >> >>The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When...

It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead !!!!!

A man owned a small farm in Georgia. The Georgia State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the farmer, "there's...

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. Got a call center in Pakistan.. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck or fly a plane.

Two Cajun fishermen, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, went deep into the Bayous > fishing. > They were gone a couple of months. On their return they noticed a Taco > Bell had been built while they were away... > Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says, 'Look at dat, we not gone no time > and dem...

Something you might be interested to know. <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge...

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the d...

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind...

Three quarterbacks, Manning, Romo and Tom Brady, go to heaven to visit God and watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question... God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and...

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said...

I live in a semi-rural area. We rec ently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing...

A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near highway 481 in Maverick Co., TX, early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck walked out over the corn they had spread in the shrub w/ a tailgate feeder. Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leopold scope on...

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh...

I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking.... Scared the hell out of me. So that's it! After today, no more reading.

True Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Crap! Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot...

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."