Sorry just got done doing a 12 hour. I won't 100% explain the situation, but I will elaborate somewhat more, not to make excuses, but maybe to have others understand a little bit more that I was under some fairly extress mental/physical duress.
My sister moved back in with us due to her basically going crazy, possibly having a midlife crisis, left her great and loving husband, and house, business with him, and basically ran away with some much younger hippy guy and his wife (yes he was married). She at first was "communing with the gaia mother spirit" in the national forest and hugging trees and praying to dirt and talking to the moon and bathing in streams, and basically all out hippy communal living. Not like there is anything truely wrong with that, but going from a person who seems pretty stable, being married, having a business, a house, and 7 dogs and 2 or 3 cats to look after, to basically "going off the deep end", well, let's just say we all reacted in different ways.
No need to really go into how I reacted, i'll just say I lost a ton of respect for her and what she did to that real good guy she had, because I'm one of the few guys who doesn't cheat, and seriously believes in that whole "till death do us part" thing.
Anyways she moved in with us, because she didn't have anywhere to go. She basically threw away her life and went chasing some fantasy that in the end (like these things always seem to do), bit her in the butt, and now she has nothing but confusion.
We already had 3 dogs living here (one from the crackhead friend my mom and sisters talk to because he couldn't take care of himself, yet alone a dog, the other another stray, and another a stray that was found tied to a garbage can in the middle of a highway in the rain). She got rid of a couple dogs, and brought her 3 other dogs and another cat here to live with us. Our house is around 2000 square feet, so it's roomy but far from gigantic. With 6 dogs in the house, at times it feels like wherever you step or turn, there is a dog. Like the 101 Dalmations movie.
Anyways I started working, and I had deep, meaningful conversations with my family (including her, actually ESPECIALLY her) that in order for me to keep this up (working full time and weird graveyard shifts atleast twice a week), we are going to have to figure out a way to quiet the dogs after I get home, so I can get atleast 6 hours of sleep (which still isn't enough but whatever). She was all "sure this", and "I'll help with" that, and openly very supportive.
We tried a couple various ways/places/ideas of where and how to put the dogs so they were comfortable, watered, and sheltered, where I wouldn't be woken up by a massive chorus of barking/howling when someone walked by the house or a neighbor said something in the backyard or whatever. They seriously go apes*it at the littlest thing, then it can continue for 10+ mins. As you can see, you can't sleep like that. Add to that i'm a very light sleeper, and once i'm awake due to having to either talk to someone/think/take care of something like dogs barking, i'm 100% awake and can't get back to sleep.
I tried ear plugs, and even a slight shock barking color for one of the main offender dogs (1-2 start it, and the others chime in). Neither of those solutions worked, and since I can't 100% control reality so noone walks by my house, or rings the doorbell, or walks their dog by my house, i knew I had to do something to utilize the archetecture of the house while still keeping them comfortable and taken care of.
I hatched a scheme that for two days a week, for only 6-7 hours each time when I go to bed, to have them in the side yard (so the house blocks their barks), with a barricade up so they can't go around to my back window. It worked awesome. The problem was, she would keep trying to do it her way, and her way always had a draw back of 100% nullifying my purpose of quietness.
She would extend the barrier farther back, saying they needed more room (they have a ton of room, and a big garage to lounge around in, with a giant ceiling fan cranking on them, they are fine trust me, I would never harm them). I would be woken up with barking. I would politely, nicely talk to her to please let's do it how I originally had it (which btw was the way they do it when they have big parties and want the dogs kept away from guests, but it's ok then I guess). Each time she went against my wishes, it resulted in me getting at most, maybe 3 hours of partial sleep, and then I had to go in to work and try to function and not be irritable to clients/guests and especially important, not nod off.
This happened (her messing with my perfect, non harming scheme) atleast 6 times, maybe 7. Each time as I said, resulting in me being very much so a gentleman and polite, and trying to deal with 3 hours of partial sleep and asking her to nicely PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep with my wishes, because it's the only way to deal with the dogs where they aren't harmed, and I am able to sleep. Perfectly understandable request right? I 100% know that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would totally abide by their wishes and go out of my way to accomodate them getting sleep, because I have done it in the past for her.
The second time she did this, I told her how after being run down last time and not getting decent sleep when I was certing on my firearm training, my health took a nosedive big time and I got down to 43% lung function (from high 90's), ended up in the hospital on massive IV's for 2 weeks, then on home IV's for 10 more days, and ended up contracting staph, and serratia from my hospital visit, and an "unknown organism" in my culture. I seriously thought I wasn't coming home at one point.
Pretty serious stuff right? Wouldn't you accomodate someone in that type of need with a VERY small request, where she doesn't even have to do anything. All she has to do is not go behind me and change what I have done, and everything is 100% fine.
Well the final time, after hearing the dogs barking and knowing that is not how I set them up, I took a deep breath, then walked out of my room, on my 3ish hour sleep (before having to go back in), and asked her something like (nicely) "<name> why do you continually keep butting heads with me on this. Isn't my health important to you, I'm your only brother. You know what happened to me last time". Then she started with excuses, real lame ones, that only mad me more upset. I reiterated my feelings, and again asked her to please not tear down the positive stuff (health, job, etc) that I have so far built up on my own (which she has told me several times how proud she is of me for accomplishing all this). She started to nitpick me, and try to dissect why it's ok what she is doing. I told her again that obviously it isn't because now I am awake again due to their barking, and with my way, I sleep soundly. She started to get an attitude, and say some other condecending stuff to me, and became a bitch plain and simple.
It EXTREMELY hurt me, and pissed me off that her is my sister who I have been closest with all my life, not seeing how important this is to me, and apparently either has lost 200 IQ points recently and can't comprehend basic English, or is purposely doing these things to harm me/piss me off/possibly end up killing me.
I sighed, barely keeping my rage inside, and started to walk away, and then she said something else very snide to me, and that was "the straw that broke the camels back" so to speak. I lunged toward her with pure rage in my face and eyes, and bursted out yelling about what I felt, and basically what I explained here. If she would have been a man, and considering how frustrated I was, and felt she was legitimately trying to ruin what I have accomplished, I would have full on layed her out (again, if she were a MAN).
She got more snippy, obviously poking an angry aligator so to speak. I turned and started to walk away, because I knew nothing good could come of me standing there near her. She said something else (can't remember what) and my mind said "Find something to destroy that isn't alive, QUICK" and the fan was standing there. Well the fan went flying, and I haven't even looked what I did to it, i'm sure it's demolished, because i'm a pretty decent size guy.
Then she gave me another side antagonizing comment, something like "Oh sure, beat up the fan!", and then i officially went over the edge and turned and lunged at her and screamed, quite frothingly at the mouth, and quite psycho looking, something like "IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAT YOUR A*S!!!".
I guess that was enough to make her shut up, because she did. I slammed the sliding glass door, flew into my room, and slammed that door. I was pulsating with rage, due to the reasons I gave above. My sister was actively harming my health, and possibly screwing up everything I had gained to that point.
She then comes after me in my own room, while i'm in bed trying to calm down and maybe get some more sleep (impossible now). She starts in with the "HOW DARE YOU" comments, and similar self righteous things she says when she knows she is wrong, but angry. I leap out of bed and get in her face and tell her to leave me alone, and quickly highlight why i'm furious again. Then I basically escort her out of my room, without throwing her out.
It ends with a ton of screaming "F**K YOU's" through the doors, and her crying in the other room, saying all kinds of stupid stuff that doesn't make sense (you would think it was her that got only 3 hours sleep).
...So sorry for such a long post, but that's basically it. The quickest way to freak me out is someone repetitively messing with me. Like a wood pecker pecking away at one area, with an aura of "YEAH, WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO ABOUT IT", over and over till it goes from a normal patch of flesh, to a bloody extremely painful pulp.
I felt she was purposely trying to harm my health, or just being extremely stupid, or massively inconsiderate, or all three. I tried my best talking and being nice 5 or 6 times to no avail. I am usually a paragon of patience, but she succeeded in making me snap. Picture this happening to you. Picture you haveing several days of 3 hours sleep due to someone else. Picture you trying to reason with them. Picture them, through their actions, basically saying "I don't care, piss off" and doing what they want anyway. Picture how you feel when you get just one day of little sleep. Now times that by 6 or 7.
As I have said before, I would never intentionally harm a woman, especially my sister/family member. But everyone has a breaking point, even Mother Theresa or Ghandi weren't above getting pissed off. I'm sure both of those people have hit someone in rage at some point(s) of their lives.
I 100% agree that violence isn't nice, and for many reasons should be the absolute last resort when dealing with someone who you have tried every other avenue to get to understand something you are trying to convey. But we don't live in an ideal fantasy land reality. Violence does take place, and human emotions are part of us, regardless how pacifistic someone claims to be, they too have a snaping point where they are very capable of lashing out violently. If you say other wise, you are lying or delusional.
I'm happy I didn't harm her, i'm ashamed of myself only because I let myself snap. Our relationship is probably strained pretty good right now, and I won't know otherwise for a decent amount of time.
That is the story, if you still think I was way out of bounds for getting pissed, well, we just will have to not agree on many basic principles.