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I'm No Scrooge, But Here's What Irks Me

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anonymous

New member
Emily I have never seen someone insinuate on here that anyone who died young did not fight. Seriously. Maybe I have just totally missed it, but every time someone dies (like Allan for example) everyone offered their condolences and sympathy. I don't remember any mention (or insinuation) that it was his fault. Maybe I should read into things a big more - read between the lines so to speak - but I just don't see it.

When someone is really sick and in the hospital, there may be posts that say "I am praying for you" "have hope" "hang in there" "be strong" etc. But, if that person were to pass away, I don't know that we'd see posts saying that this person was not a fighter or that it was their fault. Again, maybe I am just not noticing these things, but I just can't imagine anyone saything that.

There was recently a post about a girl who had passed and a post by a mom who's son passed last month. Again, I did not notice the type of thing you mention.

What sort of thing do people actually type on here (or elsewhere) that comes across that way? I'm really just curious more than anything.
 
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anonymous

New member
Emily I have never seen someone insinuate on here that anyone who died young did not fight. Seriously. Maybe I have just totally missed it, but every time someone dies (like Allan for example) everyone offered their condolences and sympathy. I don't remember any mention (or insinuation) that it was his fault. Maybe I should read into things a big more - read between the lines so to speak - but I just don't see it.

When someone is really sick and in the hospital, there may be posts that say "I am praying for you" "have hope" "hang in there" "be strong" etc. But, if that person were to pass away, I don't know that we'd see posts saying that this person was not a fighter or that it was their fault. Again, maybe I am just not noticing these things, but I just can't imagine anyone saything that.

There was recently a post about a girl who had passed and a post by a mom who's son passed last month. Again, I did not notice the type of thing you mention.

What sort of thing do people actually type on here (or elsewhere) that comes across that way? I'm really just curious more than anything.
 
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rebekahphillips

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>i do believe in God but in no way do I feel that if I didn't I would die because of it. If people die young, they just do and that has nothing to do with God. The other one i HATE is the "God gives people what they can handle". Some of my friends really believe in this and I think it is crap. I don't think that God has anything to do with why some people have diseases and some don't. And He doesn't give us only what we can handle. People handle things because they have to not because of God. and that is my rant



i have a question. Did you ever read Job in the Bible? My big impression of that is God lets things happen but God is always there to help out to those who call out God's name.
 
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rebekahphillips

New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>i do believe in God but in no way do I feel that if I didn't I would die because of it. If people die young, they just do and that has nothing to do with God. The other one i HATE is the "God gives people what they can handle". Some of my friends really believe in this and I think it is crap. I don't think that God has anything to do with why some people have diseases and some don't. And He doesn't give us only what we can handle. People handle things because they have to not because of God. and that is my rant



i have a question. Did you ever read Job in the Bible? My big impression of that is God lets things happen but God is always there to help out to those who call out God's name.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
I'm confused as to why this person is upset? Is there a certain thread where they were "jumped" on? Anon - at least have the decency to post a name so that we can figure out who you are, and what it was we said that offended you. We're not mind readers.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
I'm confused as to why this person is upset? Is there a certain thread where they were "jumped" on? Anon - at least have the decency to post a name so that we can figure out who you are, and what it was we said that offended you. We're not mind readers.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Well even people who are a bit tactless aren't complete morons. I haven't seen anything in a post ABOUT someone's death that they didn't fight. If we hear someone died, we do extend condolences, grieve, etc. It's in talking about people that have passed more than a few months ago. And I will admit I don't have an example on hand. Nor do I have time to search for one because my dumb butt signed up for 6 classes, and I have enough homework to feed a small third world country (that doesn't work as well, does it?). But I am not the only one who feels that sometimes when people say things, it comes off that way. I know of at least one person that concurs. Allie. She's told me (whether it be on this forum or elsewhere --- I believe it's been both) that when people hear that Ry stopped taking his meds at the VERY VERY end, that he "gave up" and "didn't care enough to live for his wife and daughter" and was "selfish" etc etc etc etc etc. Which is rubbish, because as it is, he stopped taking his meds, and died only 5 days later. If he had continued them, he wouldn't have lasted more than a few weeks, and in horrible pain. So he and Allie decided together (though obviously it was his choice) that it wasn't worth it, he stopped his meds and relaxed for his last 5 days. Spent them with his family. Died at home. Very peaceful.

I actually remember the post I'm thinking of now, but I don't remember what it was called, or how long ago it was. I believe a few weeks. There was a certain woman on this board who I will not name again (but those who read it may know who I mean) that was telling Allie that Ry was WRONG for choosing not to have a transplant (mind you, he had cepacia, so his chances were less, and it was his decision to make). That it meant that he didn't love Allie or Ahava... etc. It was a bunch of garbage. That is the most recent instance I can think of. And it's junk like that that makes me angry.

Like I said, Allie has also gotten it elsewhere. That's clearly not the fault of anyone here. But if you return to my original post on this thread, I didn't attack anyone. I made it very clear that I hated that opinion, that I was personally much against it. But I didn't name names, and I simply asked a question. I wanted to know if anyone actually thinks that. So my question was brought on both by people on this site (mainly that one woman, though I've seen less offensive comments here that still were uncalled for), and from others Allie has encountered. CFers, CF family members, CF spouses, or people totally unrelated. She's gotten it from a lot of people, and after talking to her about it one night, I came on here and that's how this thread came about.

Hope that clears me up a little.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Well even people who are a bit tactless aren't complete morons. I haven't seen anything in a post ABOUT someone's death that they didn't fight. If we hear someone died, we do extend condolences, grieve, etc. It's in talking about people that have passed more than a few months ago. And I will admit I don't have an example on hand. Nor do I have time to search for one because my dumb butt signed up for 6 classes, and I have enough homework to feed a small third world country (that doesn't work as well, does it?). But I am not the only one who feels that sometimes when people say things, it comes off that way. I know of at least one person that concurs. Allie. She's told me (whether it be on this forum or elsewhere --- I believe it's been both) that when people hear that Ry stopped taking his meds at the VERY VERY end, that he "gave up" and "didn't care enough to live for his wife and daughter" and was "selfish" etc etc etc etc etc. Which is rubbish, because as it is, he stopped taking his meds, and died only 5 days later. If he had continued them, he wouldn't have lasted more than a few weeks, and in horrible pain. So he and Allie decided together (though obviously it was his choice) that it wasn't worth it, he stopped his meds and relaxed for his last 5 days. Spent them with his family. Died at home. Very peaceful.

I actually remember the post I'm thinking of now, but I don't remember what it was called, or how long ago it was. I believe a few weeks. There was a certain woman on this board who I will not name again (but those who read it may know who I mean) that was telling Allie that Ry was WRONG for choosing not to have a transplant (mind you, he had cepacia, so his chances were less, and it was his decision to make). That it meant that he didn't love Allie or Ahava... etc. It was a bunch of garbage. That is the most recent instance I can think of. And it's junk like that that makes me angry.

Like I said, Allie has also gotten it elsewhere. That's clearly not the fault of anyone here. But if you return to my original post on this thread, I didn't attack anyone. I made it very clear that I hated that opinion, that I was personally much against it. But I didn't name names, and I simply asked a question. I wanted to know if anyone actually thinks that. So my question was brought on both by people on this site (mainly that one woman, though I've seen less offensive comments here that still were uncalled for), and from others Allie has encountered. CFers, CF family members, CF spouses, or people totally unrelated. She's gotten it from a lot of people, and after talking to her about it one night, I came on here and that's how this thread came about.

Hope that clears me up a little.
 
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miesl

New member
Actually, I do remember someone telling someone else if they believed in god they would/might get better on this board. It's the reason ccflewallen is banned.
 
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miesl

New member
Actually, I do remember someone telling someone else if they believed in god they would/might get better on this board. It's the reason ccflewallen is banned.
 
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anonymous

New member
Okay Emily, I understand what you are saying now. I have to agree with you as well. And I am also amazed that anyone whould be so rude to make such comments to a grieving widow.

Oh yeah. I didn't think you were bashing anyone at all. I just didn't understand what had happened.
 
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anonymous

New member
Okay Emily, I understand what you are saying now. I have to agree with you as well. And I am also amazed that anyone whould be so rude to make such comments to a grieving widow.

Oh yeah. I didn't think you were bashing anyone at all. I just didn't understand what had happened.
 
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anonymous

New member
Funny Emily... what is this thread about? What is your specific subject in the matter? I can honestly say now that I don't expect you to know who I am because you didn't know me that longback then... I fyou haven't know someone very long it should be all the more reason to try and clairify what he/she is saying. And just so you know; your response that "you could care less" simply because I didn't log in under my user name just shows how rude you can be. I probably will never log back in with my user name because as I see it, you tarnished it and had all your little friends jump on the ban wagon bashing me saying that I was mean and rude. Well look at you Miss, "I could care less" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">

Also if you think it's a waste of time to clairfy something that maybe you misunderstood then I feel sorry for anyone around you... I even tried to get you to understand I was asking questions because I didn't understand or comprehend something, which shows even more how stubborn you were, and that you didn't want to realize you were wrong for jumping on me.

I'm simply stating a rebuttal towards your reason for posting this thread. There are alot of things that irk me in this world... just because you don't agree with something doesn't make it wrong, and you right!
 
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anonymous

New member
Funny Emily... what is this thread about? What is your specific subject in the matter? I can honestly say now that I don't expect you to know who I am because you didn't know me that longback then... I fyou haven't know someone very long it should be all the more reason to try and clairify what he/she is saying. And just so you know; your response that "you could care less" simply because I didn't log in under my user name just shows how rude you can be. I probably will never log back in with my user name because as I see it, you tarnished it and had all your little friends jump on the ban wagon bashing me saying that I was mean and rude. Well look at you Miss, "I could care less" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">

Also if you think it's a waste of time to clairfy something that maybe you misunderstood then I feel sorry for anyone around you... I even tried to get you to understand I was asking questions because I didn't understand or comprehend something, which shows even more how stubborn you were, and that you didn't want to realize you were wrong for jumping on me.

I'm simply stating a rebuttal towards your reason for posting this thread. There are alot of things that irk me in this world... just because you don't agree with something doesn't make it wrong, and you right!
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I don't think it's a waste of time to clarify anything. I never said that. Reread it. I said it was a waste of time for me to ASK everyone I ever talk to to clarify. If you want to clarify, by all means, do it, and I'll be happy to read it. I'm just not going to go around and ask people to be more specific about everything I read. You should be specific the first time. It's not my job to make sure you got your point across accurately.

I never said I was right and everyone else was wrong, either. Pay attention, nameless wonder. You need to read more carefully. I said I think it's disgusting and that's my... wait... you listening? PERSONAL OPINION. Which, last I checked, I'm entitled to.

As far as "I could care less" it might be rude if I knew who you were and was just being snooty. If someone purposely doesn't sign in or leave a name because they don't have the balls to stand behind their opinion, no, I don't care who you are. Not until you leave a name. And I'm not sorry.

Yes, this post is rude. But it's the first one that was. And again, I don't care. Because if you look down your nose at me and call me names, I can do the same. I'm (generally) not rude until provoked. You get snotty with me, I'm not just going to sit here and listen and nod along.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I don't think it's a waste of time to clarify anything. I never said that. Reread it. I said it was a waste of time for me to ASK everyone I ever talk to to clarify. If you want to clarify, by all means, do it, and I'll be happy to read it. I'm just not going to go around and ask people to be more specific about everything I read. You should be specific the first time. It's not my job to make sure you got your point across accurately.

I never said I was right and everyone else was wrong, either. Pay attention, nameless wonder. You need to read more carefully. I said I think it's disgusting and that's my... wait... you listening? PERSONAL OPINION. Which, last I checked, I'm entitled to.

As far as "I could care less" it might be rude if I knew who you were and was just being snooty. If someone purposely doesn't sign in or leave a name because they don't have the balls to stand behind their opinion, no, I don't care who you are. Not until you leave a name. And I'm not sorry.

Yes, this post is rude. But it's the first one that was. And again, I don't care. Because if you look down your nose at me and call me names, I can do the same. I'm (generally) not rude until provoked. You get snotty with me, I'm not just going to sit here and listen and nod along.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Small correction. The "I couldn't care less" comment was a bit rude, I suppose. But I'm not going to respect some nameless faceless opinion. You need to leave a name for me to... exactly as I said, care about what you say or who you are. I'm not a mind reader, I don't like guessing games, and it's not my job to care who you are if you don't leave a name.

That was the only thing on here, though, that I see as outright rude... that is, before my last comment.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Small correction. The "I couldn't care less" comment was a bit rude, I suppose. But I'm not going to respect some nameless faceless opinion. You need to leave a name for me to... exactly as I said, care about what you say or who you are. I'm not a mind reader, I don't like guessing games, and it's not my job to care who you are if you don't leave a name.

That was the only thing on here, though, that I see as outright rude... that is, before my last comment.
 
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